How long before the 2nd date?

[murkishslurkish]

Hey there guys, I've got a kind of unserious, small question for you.

So after hanging out with this girl for a good 3 weeks, we finally went on a date to a
nice thai restaurant/cocktail bar. Had drinks, had a laugh and overall good time. There
was a definite spark, and after the date was over she sent me a text saying that she had a
lovely evening, and was grateful that I care about her....don't know how to take that.
Anyway, although I appreciate that she is quite busy at the moment, planning quite a
few things to do with a business that she is trying to get started, it's been a good 4 days
now and there really hasn't been a mention at all of another date.

In the past, too often I have gone down the "nice guy" route, which eventually led
to an almost needy persona and dynamic within the relationship. This was quite a few
years ago when I started off in the dating world, and since then I've learnt a clear difference
between being a kind guy, and being the "nice guy" which usually fails to get any results.

Apart from the initial "this was fun, hope we do it again, *hug, kiss on cheek* " the both of
us haven't really mentioned or talked about another date. From what I've gathered she is
interested in me. She initiates conversations, sends nice messages etc etc. I'm just wondering
if I should be the one that goes in and tries to plan the next date?

I planned the Thai restaurant, and part of me feels that if I go straight in and start planning
another date, the equality within the relationship will cease, and lead to one person (in this case me)
being the chaser, which in previous experiences; is a really shitty place to be.

Any clarity on this situation would be appreciated, I'm probably being ridiculous and should just
go on and try to organise the next meeting, but where else to get some valuable information than this forum?

Thanks for reading.

[Rowen]

After 4 days you haven't asked her on another date? What the **** is wrong with you?

Ask her!

[AnErin]

Might want to do it soon.
I do not think 4 days is too long to wait. Now is the time.
There are all these rules about how long to wait but they are pretty silly.
In a lot of relationships, one person tends to take charge. Looks like you are the leader. Some women like a man to take the lead.

[surfhb2]

I'm just wondering
if I should be the one that goes in and tries to plan the next date?

I planned the Thai restaurant, and part of me feels that if I go straight in and start planning
another date, the equality within the relationship will cease, and lead to one person (in this case me)
being the chaser, which in previous experiences; is a really shitty place to be.

Huh? You have nuts right? Youre the man....of course its your job to plan the date! Women dont want to take the lead...thats your job