How can I make a girl break up with her fiancee and be with me instead?

[extremis]

there is this tutor I work with in the tutoring lab in college. I worked with her for about two years. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. She is about 27 and I am 22 and she is engaged, One thing I noticed about her is that she was very touchy feely. , like patting me on the back or shoulder.


My class ended a few months ago but I saw her around campus when I was going to meet up with a friend recently and chatted with her
now I find myself going out of my way to that location just so I can hopefully see her and talk to her again. Last week I went and sat there for about half an hour (I had nothing else to do though so I wasn't skipping anything) I just get this extremely good feeling when talking to her or seeing her.

I recently ran into this girl again before Christmas break started. She was in the math lab, I went in and started chatting to her and she seemed happy to see me and happy to chat. I get this extremely good feeling whenever I see her or talk to her. I can't explain it. I think she clearly likes me too.


I can't stand the thought of not being with her I think she is the girl for me. Can someone tell me how I can make her break up with her fiancee and be with me instead? I heard of times where people were successfully able to do this and it is OK

[Boisdevie]

Can someone tell me how I can make her break up with her fiancee and be with me instead? I heard of times where people were successfully able to do this and it is OK

Sure it's OK to try to ruin somebody's relationship. Here's some advice - have a look in the dictionary for the word 'amoral'.

[Starnique]

You can't. She has to want to leave and I doubt she will leave him for you. She doesn't seem interested in you to be honest. She just being friendly.. Sounds like you're the one with the problem. How about working on yourself so you can become a better person and get your own woman?

[AnErin]

Can someone tell me how I can make her break up with her fiancee and be with me instead? I heard of times where people were successfully able to do this and it is OK

First, if it were not for pregnancy, this whole "dump her fiance for me" business would probably be the thing keeping trash talk shows on the air.

If you want to try though, you could walk in gracefully and sing "The one you love" by Glenn Frey. It is some old cheezy 80's love song but it just might work.

[HeartIsAching]

How do you "make" her do anything? I guess by being a controlling asshole with no ethics.

Yeah... but trust me, that doen't work long term.

[TheEvilJester]

I feel like I read this story, almost exactly, on this message board before. So, kind of wondering if this is just somebody messing with us. However, for the sake of trying to be helpful, I will assume this is a legit question.

How can you make a girl break up with her fiance (or boyfriend, or husband for that matter) for you? Well, my advice would be two-part. 1.) You can't. If she in unhappy with her fiance/boyfriend/whomever, she will decide that on her own and decide whether or not to end her relationship. You cannot make her do anything. If she is happy in her relationship, you would be wrong to mess with that. If she is unhappy in her relationship, that is none of your business unless she officially breaks it off and becomes available.

2.) Why would you want to anyway? If you managed to entice her away from her steady relationship, then obviously she is not somebody of very high moral standards. How can you trust she wouldn't eventually turn around and do the same to you?

As it is, some people, women especially, are just more "touchy feely" so to speak. Touching your arm, your shoulder, whatever, it doesn't necessarily mean anything other than that they consider you a friend. For the record, I happen to love that in women myself. I guess part of that being because most people are so afraid of me before they know me, so it means a lot to me when somebody (especially a woman) sees right past that, so much so, that they would make physical contact without even thinking twice. But, it doesn't necessarily mean anything more than just a friendly relationship.

Trust me, I'm not judging in any way. Sometimes you can't help the person for whom you develop a crush. But, in this case she is already taken. So, you need to remain friends with her and nothing more, unless her relationship should end on its own. If you can't do that, you need to keep your distance from her. If you do decide to remain friends with her, that also means you need to move on, at least for now. Date other women. Don't just wait around hoping she will break up with her fiance. That may never happen, or it could even turn out that it does happen, but after waiting all that time, you find out she is only interested in you as a friend anyway. So, don't just wait around hoping her relationship will end. Date other women, and let fate decide what shall be.

[Rowen]

You disgust me, OP swine....

[4 ratties]

It's just a puppy dog crush. These aren't real feelings you feel, they are horomones. I know this. I'm a doctor and scientist.

[Wakeup]

I can't stand the thought of not being with her

Yet you've NEVER been with her and you've lived your life just fine, Drama-Queen much?

I think she is the girl for me.

Yet you've never spent one moment outside of her class or her teaching you. Drama-Queen much?

Can someone tell me how I can make her break up with her fiancee and be with me instead?

Forget it. Most good women don't like girly-boy drama queens.

Find a 16 year old girl, someone your own age who is free to try and train you into not being a drama queen or like yourself she two will be a drama-queen and you can't take acting classed together as a team. Good luck.

[acemontana]

what makes you think that is she leavs him for you that she wont leave you for someone else in the future?

[TheEvilJester]

what makes you think that is she leavs him for you that she wont leave you for someone else in the future?

Exactly. I agree. You should never want to be with somebody who would actually leave a steady relationship for you, especially one that seems otherwise happy. How could you ever trust that she wouldn't just do the same to you? And that is only one of a plethora of reasons why you should never mess with somebody's relationship. Remain friends if you can see being just friends, or keep your distance if you cannot. Either way, date other women. Your dream girl may still be out there looking for you. Some day, who knows? Maybe fate will bring you two together. You just can't waste your life waiting around hoping that will happen, nor can you do anything to hope to end her current relationship. I think we all know how it can feel when you have a crush on somebody. It suddenly seems like they are the only one for you. But, you will eventually find somebody. Maybe it will be her, maybe it won't... but for right now it isn't her. She is already taken. Good luck.

[Wakeup]

Remain friends if you can see being just friends

You should never remain friends with someone that you are attracted to and would like more with. It never leads to anything good. NEVER. Human nature always takes over or you end up stagnating your own dating/romantic life because your focus isn't fully on who you may be pursuing.

[TheEvilJester]

I suppose you are probably right. In this case, at least. It definitely sounds like he is too smitten to ever be able to consider her just a friend. Personally, I feel like this issue (in general, anyway, not this specific case) isn't quite always that black and white. To me, it depends on exactly how "smitten" you are, and whether you truly could see yourself remaining just friends.

I can tell you from experience I have been in similar situations. I've developed a crush on a girl only to realize later she was already in a relationship. For me, I have always been able to separate from my feelings once I found this out. I can and actually have been able to remain friends. It means, of course, letting go of the crush, but it can be done.

I think, in general, though, you are probably right. It is often too hard for somebody to separate their feelings like that.

[Wakeup]

I suppose you are probably right. In this case, at least. It definitely sounds like he is too smitten to ever be able to consider her just a friend. Personally, I feel like this issue (in general, anyway, not this specific case) isn't quite always that black and white. To me, it depends on exactly how "smitten" you are, and whether you truly could see yourself remaining just friends.

My thoughts on that: Even if you are "okay with it." Then chances are more likely then not that any new partner coming into the picture will not take kindly to you having someone still in your life that you want or wanted to be more with. We've read it here one million times. Why complicate your life by being some chicks MALE-girlfriend?

[HeartIsAching]

You should never remain friends with someone that you are attracted to and would like more with. It never leads to anything good. NEVER. Human nature always takes over or you end up stagnating your own dating/romantic life because your focus isn't fully on who you may be pursuing.

Actually...

I'm gonna have to disagree with you here. Sometimes it works out.

I'm happily married to my best friend because it worked out for us.

Eventually.