Boyfriend blatantly hitting on a chick at bar in front of me

[skeeziix]

Last night I am at the bar with the guy I am dating. Some chick is blatantly hitting on him. She is sitting at another table. Multiple times I go to the bathroom or to smoke and I come back and he is over at her table. She brushes by us and purposely bumps into me and him. After a few hours of watching these shenanigans I get pissed off. She comes over to where we are and I said "I noticed you enjoy hitting on my boyfriend, here how about I get out of your way to make it easier for you" my boyfriend got pissed and walked away she said "I am sorry I know him..." I said "And how exactly is that?" she then proceeds to tell me he has taken her home from the bar before. So he and her are not only flirting in front of me but they have some sort of a past together which makes me feel even better.

So I called my bf out and said I would never disrespect you like that and hit on another dude right in front of you especially someone I have a past with. She just told me you took her home before how is that appropriate? I know for a fact if it was the other way around he wouldn't like it.

Today i tried to talk to him about it of course he tries to twist it around onto me like I am being insecure and jealous. She was sitting at a completely different table he went to her, it was so ****ing apparent but I am the one who is being paranoid. So now he has said that he is sick of defending himself to me. I don't see how any of this is my fault? All he is doing is twisting shit around deflecting.

[4 ratties]

How long have u been together? This may be a red flag. Ignore and u may pay more for it later. This is a hard one because on one hand he could of just been being friendly which I know is rude but it's not cheating. I just wonder what he would of been like if u hadn't of been there. He may have flirted more. Him treating you like this isnt right. He should of said he was sorry and assured u it was innocent instead of trying to make u the bad guy. I would really remember this and hopefully it was a one time thing but keep an eye out for more red flags. Communication is important and if u feel he communicated wrong about this and isn't willing to change then u must accept how he is.

[skeeziix]

I just wonder what he would of been like if u hadn't of been there.

This is exactly what I was thinking and I mean when i say flirting I am not exaggerating. We have only been together 2 months. I just think if I had ran into a guy I took home from a bar and i was with my BF the last thing I would do would be go over to his table and flirt with him, or even talk to him. I might say hi but I wouldn't run over there ever time my boyfriend turned his back.

[JadenMia]

My ex used to do stuff like this all the time.. Not only would he act inappropriately he would then blame it on me being crazy when I called him out! It was part of his manipulative behaviour. It started out exactly like this, then after a year he became increasingly emotionally and physically abusive.
It's up to you if you stay obviously, but at only 2 months into the relationship and he is pulling this crap, I would just leave. That will probably save a few months/years wasted time on this jerk.

[Boisdevie]

Two options here:
1. He's a dick or
2. You are loony.

But if you don't like what he's done then dump him.

[skeeziix]

@JadenMia I think you are correct! He has now since been trying to apologize and is owning his behavior, but now what am I supposed to do? I feel like I have to have my guard up now. Rubbish. He said "I have been single so long I don't know how to act in a relationship" a person who supposedly loves me doesn't hit on other chicks or welcome their advances, especially when you are with your gf. Any moron knows that. I said that was a poor excuse and that I needed a few days to think about shit. I don't want to be in another relationship that lacks trust and transparency, why do people even get into relationships if they want to play the field? Makes no sense and a waste oft time and a himderance I would think to their game playing all around dumb.

[Boisdevie]

I don't want to be in another relationship that lacks trust and transparency, why do people even get into relationships if they want to play the field? Makes no sense and a waste oft time and a himderance I would think to their game playing all around dumb.

So when are you going to dump him then?

[Rowen]

Basically, he cheated on you in front of you.

So, I think there's only one thing to ask yourself: Do I stay, or do I go?

[HeartIsAching]

I'm going with Boisdevie's answer here.

Can't tell at all from her post whether or not she is a paranoid, insecure crazy bitch...

Or if he's a dick.

[Wakeup]

Two months! He's just shown you who he is. Heed that show and dump his ass. Whether you are a paranoid, crazy bitch or not, what he did was TOTALLY disrespectful to you and your relationship. If he knew her, then why didn't he introduce you instead of being suspect by waiting until you go the bathroom to go over and talk to her? That is not the actions of a man that is worried about offending you. Next him.

You could have handled it better Op. You should have immediately asked him who she was and how he knew her and then talked to him about why you didn't like him leaving a bar after drinking and driving. Never mind drinking and driving another woman home and then acting sketchy with her subsequently.

Any woman who is confident and frames herself as the prize instead of framing some asshole she's only known two months and is acting this way so soon, as the prize, would immediately tell him not to bother calling her anymore. When you respect yourself, you don't want anyone who will disrespect you by allowing some woman to do what she did. She saw he was with you yet she kept it up (she did so because he encouraged it instead of shutting it down) What twats they are. What a good reason to get out before you're addicted to him and his abuse. Yes, turning it around on you is abusive.

[smackie9]

Oh good lord! I have dumped guys for less that this..... Why are you sitting around grilling and tormenting the guy? It's not going to make the fact that he is a douche go away. Dump his ass and be done with it!

[JadenMia]

I agree with most. Definitely get out of this one before it escalates.
I don't think it sounds crazy or paranoid at all, if my boyfriend was paying an awful lot of attention to another girl that actually turned out to be someone he took home in the past, I would feel it was disrespectful to my feelings..
Respect yourself enough to walk away
2 months in it should be your honeymoon period, where things appear to be almost perfect. It things are this bad, this early on. It can only get worse in my opinion!