Dad hates my boyfriend because 'he is too short and not successful enough'

[wonderingsoul]

Boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. Told my dad about him 1 year ago, and he disapproves because boyfriend is too short (he's shorter than 8 out of 10 people), and not earning as much as I do (I earn more than most). Dad thinks his little girl can do much better.

Fast forward 1 year, dad still refuses to meet my boyfriend, and refuses to come to the wedding if we are to get married (obviously no blessings from him).

Boyfriend is a super nice guy, who I can see myself with in the long haul. I'm 28, boyfriend is 30.

I have tried the 'short stature does not impair happiness' argument many times, and it does not work. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Please help!

[HeartIsAching]

...I suggest you stop worrying about what your dad thinks.

Tell your dad "Gee, that's too bad" and go about your life. Make sure he gets an invitation to the wedding, if there is one.

[HeartIsAching]

Actually now that I think about it, I'm curious as to why you were together for two and a half years before dad was apprised.

[wonderingsoul]

Actually now that I think about it, I'm curious as to why you were together for two and a half years before dad was apprised.

Because my dad disapproved him from a facebook profile because 'he looks too short', so I didn't tell him until I was certain about my boyfriend, which was 1 year ago.

[HeartIsAching]

So... you already know your dad is a controlling, judgmental asshole.

He's REFUSING to even meet him? **** him.

[Rowen]

I agree... You put it off because you knew he was controlling and would react this way. And now that you finally told him and he's reacting the same way he would have if you told him sooner, you're not sure what to do.

Want some cold, hard truth? Put on your big girl panties and grow up. Life is not about what others think of us. It's about ensuring our own happiness. Your Dad and your Mom and everyone else in your family are living their lives and deciding what is best for them. Now is the time for you to do the same because if you don't, you're going to wind up in a similar situation like my Dad. His parents do nothing but shit on him, and he just comes back for more instead of doing what would make him happy. And in doing so, my mother is caught in the middle and the subject of his parents' blinding hatred. Do you want to put your boyfriend through that? I don't think so.

Tell your Dad that it's too bad he can't accept the situation, and then move on.
Stop caring what he thinks, or you're going to destroy this relationship.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell your dad to **** off, and not to contact you until he can respect that you're going to live your life as you see fit. Cut him off for a while and see how he reacts.

[WhaleShark]

Wow... It's rare that I've heard of a parent who is THAT unsupportive of their child's choices. I can only think of one situation, and my friend had to just ignore his family and do what he knew was right. He and his wife have since had a child, and his parents still won't talk to him. Extremely difficult situation, but he know that he was in the right and didn't let his parents live his life for him

[surfhb2]

I couldn't imagine disapproving of my child's SO based on the fact of his height and that he makes less. Bizarre behavior from your father

[hatesthis]

You and your bf are 28 and 30 your dad gets no say in your love life at 28. It is rude for him to even tell you that about your bf, you love this person and he should shut it if he can't think of anything nice to say about a person you love. I could see if your bf was abusive to you and your dad would step in with nasty comments and distain for your bf but as is your dad is being superficial.

[smackie9]

Boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. Told my dad about him 1 year ago, and he disapproves because boyfriend is too short (he's shorter than 8 out of 10 people), and not earning as much as I do (I earn more than most). Dad thinks his little girl can do much better.

Fast forward 1 year, dad still refuses to meet my boyfriend, and refuses to come to the wedding if we are to get married (obviously no blessings from him).

Boyfriend is a super nice guy, who I can see myself with in the long haul. I'm 28, boyfriend is 30.

I have tried the 'short stature does not impair happiness' argument many times, and it does not work. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Please help!

I feel this has a lot with him seeing his dear little girl going to marrying a guy that is the total opposite from him ( a bit of a blow to his ego) and he is worried that despite your happiness, he sees financial struggles in your future. He is genuinely concerned, but isn't dealing with it in an appropriate way and well being a stubborn p rick. Tell him as disappointing as it is that he will not be attending the wedding, there is still an open invitation if he changes his mind. And you if you want to be vindictive mention that you hope he will not be like this when your grand children are being born.

My friend's brother's wife went through the same thing, her mother was refusing to attend their wedding.....her mother swallowed her pride and did show up.

[MaryPulson]

Go for the things that make you happy. I know your dad's opinion counts but I think this time his reasons are biased since he continually refuses to know your man better. Still, be patient with him and invite him to the wedding. If there is anything constant in the world, it's change. I know that if he sees that your boyfriend really loves you he'll learn to appreciate him as well.

[Mattiemae]

Your relationship with your boyfriend is between these two people. You and him. The outside world will never pay your bills, never live your life or relationship. While they may be concerned, to tell you the truth underneath it all, your happiness and love is the more important thing.

[smackie9]

Thread is three weeks old op long gone.

[Mattiemae]

Yes I'm just learning how to operate in here. lol I figured out where to find the dates! lol Only been on maybe 24 hours! Thanks Smackie