Feeling defeated, disrespected and completely taken for a fool part 3 of 3

[gameova05]

Anyways as i mentioned we are back together at this point no issues having lots of sex again she actually had decided she wanted to have a baby with me and what not :S I agreed because I can't wait to be a dad. Anyways everything was fine until thursday night last week, we had been looking at moving out with her friend and her partner. When she pitched it to me I mentioned I wouldnt have the money for bond for about 2 months so suggested we waited, she insisted that she had the money to cover both our bonds and she really wanted to move out, I kinda was reluctant but she twisted my arm. Anyways this happened about 2 weeks ago we had been out inspecting houses and shit and yeah last thursday she comes home from work and says to me, "babe we need to talk, I have been thinking and don't think it's fair I pay your bond", to which I responded " Ok that's fine as I said when you mentioned it i didn't want to nor did I expect you too, you just really wanted to move out so I was going to let you, However that means I wont be able to move out. So she told her friend and then the moving out fell through because her friend apparently decided it would be too much money every week without me there. Anyways thursday was over, it's now friday, it's her workmates bday and she was working from 10am-6pm and then going out to a pub at 8pm with her friends from work. I had a really long day, spent 6 hrs infront of the computer studying/looking for jobs, 2 hrs playing basketball in the sun and 2 hrs at the gym. Now I was driving her and her friends dropping them off picking them up. I got to her place around 6:30pm when she got home from work and just kind of let her get ready to go out and let her be. now to understand this, I am usually really really outgoing like full of energy all the time and I would always annoy her no matter what, but this day I was really tired had a really long day and just decided that I knew she was in a rush to get ready and I wouldn't annoy her and would just chill. I was a little quiter then usual because of being tired, anyways she decided there was something wrong with me kept asking me babe whats wrong? multiple times, to which I respond with a smile and a bit of a laugh " nothing beautiful or babe I'm just a little tired" but nope she wanted to believe I was in a mood so she got in one herself pulled her hand away from me and started ignoring me, I gave her a couple of mins and said "what's wrong?" she replied " you are in a mood and I just can't be ****ed dealing with your shit right now".... nice girl huh? Anyways we talked it over but she still didn't believe there was nothing wrong, she went out I picked her up at 12 went took them to maccas and I didn't want to eat mcdonalds at 12:30 in the morning because I am a fitness freak and obviously was still tired. So because I didn't eat there was something wrong with me again... anyways got her home we slept woke up the next morning at around 10:30 am I ate breakky while she slept (4 eggs scrambled and 2 pc toast lol ) she woke up around 11 decided she was hungry and wanted to go to the shops and get some chips and sour cream, so I said sure and went with her and drove her. Now she asked me what I wanted and I said nothing I'll just steal some of your chips cuz I already ate, so while she ate I chatted to her and kinda chilled on my phone. Then afterwards I offered to go into clothes shops with her and help her get some new clothes because she had complained recently of having no one to go clothes shopping with and needing new clothes, now I usually hate going to the shops it bored me but this day I didn't care. We went to about 6 different shops and I gave her my opinion on all the clothes she picked helped her try them on carried all her bags and what not. Anyways I had a lot of fun, we got home and she went kinda quite and acted like she was annoyed, so I confronted her and she said she thought there was something wrong with me. I said nah im great but nope apparently not because I was kinda quite while she ate she thought I was in a mood she we ended up having an argument and she bought up friday night and how she thought I was in a mood and the mood thing that day, to which I replied I had a massive day and was tired and today I had lots of fun and was really enjoying myself. To which she replied " yeah well you have no excuse to be tired you don't have a job so it just doesn't make sense". Anyways we argue'd and got over it sorted it out. Sunday night comes she had to work sunday so i went over hers around 5pm we had dinner and had a really good night, had the best sex we had had in a while, she then looked at my phone, went really quite and went to sleep without saying goodnight, I just put it down to me tiring her out during sex because it usually happens. The next day she was at work and usually texts me a lot but today she wasn't told me she was busy I was like that's fine and then got over her house as soon as she got home from work, I was in a great mood being really silly gave her a foot rub while she watched tv but she just seemed distant and like she didn't want me there. around 8:30pm I asked her what was wrong to which she said she didn't want to talk about it and I finally got it out of her. Rewind her, when we broke up before xmas the day we broke up a girl I kinda semi knew from a computer game I played added me on facebook, we talked and became buds because she was going through a similiar situation with her Bf so we just talked and kinda were there for each other. Now I had never actually met this girl face to face she lives 2 hrs away from me and I had no attraction to her what so ever and she was literally just like one of my mates. All i wanted was my GF back. Anyways when me and my gf sorted things out after xmas, she told me she was jealous of this girl and that it was really suspicious how she added me the same day we broke up. I replied saying it was just a coincidence she literally was talking to one of my friends who had been having a convo with me on facebook and she saw our convo and asked who I was to which my friend replied "oh that's brad he is gameova in wow" and she was like oh he's awesome and added me to facebook. And we are just buddies and we just chill and talk she is like a mate to me, and told her that I had just fought for her so hard why on earth is she jealous about another girl who I have no sexual desire/intentions for. And to my understanding she came to realise that was the truth and yeah we moved on. Anyways On the weekend before sunday night and the great sex I spoke on facebook to this girl saying "hey loser, how are you? what are you up to? alright talk later". Turns out my gf read this on sunday night didn't say anything and decided to get annoyed and ignore me. Then on monday night when I finally got out of her what was wrong she turns and said about me talking to this girl, to which I was like well I dont see the issue she is a friend ? and she accused me of cheating on her and saying she doesn't know what I get up to during the day while she works and that I could have deleted other messages. Well this hurt me a lot after what she did to me at the start of the relationship with the guy at the club and the talking to the ex boyfriend, but I kept my composure and just explained to her that she was a friend, I didn't realize she had an issue with me talking to her and that if it made her unhappy I would stop. But nope she just seemed like she wanted to be extremely pissed off at me and kept argueing and being extremely non-understanding, talking to me like absolute crap and just trying to make me feel like an absolute asshole, she ended up walking away from me and the argument she started for 20 minutes. She came back hoped on the bed and pretty much ignored me. So I sat there trying to work things out because I hated the conflict as i previously mentioned was having a great day and just literally wanted to snuggle up to her and go to sleep. So I kept trying to talk to her but she would ignore me and say I'm watching tv. She then got to the point where she told me If i didn't stop talking she would kick me out but she was being serious. I stopped for a second and told her I literally didn't want to argue I just wanted to have a great night with her and was confused at to why we were even arguing in the first place and said I am over arguing, to which she said yeah well I'm over everything. I said what does that mean she said us, this relationship I'm over it. Now at this point I have been really really understanding of all the shit through the relationship, I have been dumped by her multiple times and treated like shit for the past 3 days, she had ruined my awesome mood and was being probably the rudest she had ever been to me in the entire relationship. I kept trying to talk to her and she eventually told me to leave, So I hit breaking point. I stood up started packing my stuff and just let loose and abused her which I am not proud of but literally she promised never to do this kind of thing to me again I was at my whits end. She couldn't believe I was angry at her and pretty much literally kicked me out of the house, As i walked out the door I called her a psycho bitch and told her not to contact me again. Now she bought me a ps4 for xmas/birthday as my bday is in like 6 days from now. So I was literally home for 10 minutes, and my sister comes to my bedroom door and says at 10:40pm at night mind you " Shannen just messaged me and woke me up , told me you two are done and to tell you to pack the ps4 some one would be over shortly to pick it up" literally woke my sister and her BF up. So instantly I replied telling her she was deluded if she thought I was packing it up that night and that i can't believe that's all she cared about after we just broke up and told her all she cared about was money. After a few angry messages to each other and me telling her if anyone knocked on the door tonight want to pick it up i'd smash the ps4 in the street infront of them. Then next thing I know her god damn mother messaged me saying, bradley have the ps4 packed and ready for me to pick it up by 3pm tomorrow, if it is not there I will contact the police and charge you with stealing.... To this I messaged the Gf and said WTF it was literally a gift the police won't do shit also why is your mum talking for you? what a joke. To which her mum replied instead of her " No bradley you are the joke and it wasn't a threat about the police it was a promise, how mature." So i replied to her mum telling her she was the immature one speaking on her daughters behalf and making threats to me. to which she was like "not worth it night". Now the next day I was talking to the now ex gf and truying to understand wtf happened and she just didn't want to talk about it kept saying she shouldn't have to re-explain herself. I ended up telling her my friend would drop the ps4 for off to her because I had to go to gym and doctors and I didn't want to see her mum. Not long after her mum messages me again " bradley seeing as you won't be home you can drop the ps4 off at my house". So at this point I am pissed off, her mum had abused me the previous night, threatened me with the police and was being a mole. So i replied by saying " seeing as though your daughter is neither an invalid or a 3 year old I will sort out "our issues" with her and have no reason or desire to communicate with you". her mum decided to keep on texting me and tried rubbing it in my face that her daughter never wanted to see me again and try and tell me I was a no hoper. I ended up saying that it didn't concern her and to leave me alone. She replied with " when my daughter is concerned it does involve me" and then went on to make a snide remark about her caring for her daughter and how it was related to how i cared for my family and that it wasn't even a close comparison or someshit. So I kind of lost it at her mum and sent her a big messaged pretty much saying " if your daughter means so much to you and you had half a clue, why does she hate living at home and why does she want to move out so much, and told her to stop treating her like a child let her grow up and make her own decisions and put her in her place. she stopped mesaging me I obviously hit a soft spot. Anyways later that day her mum posted something on facebook and tagged my ex in it ( I deleted all her family off facebook but not her like she did to my family). So obviously it appeared on my newsfeed and it said. " hey shannen, dad and I have been deleted how mature haha what a tosser". Now I'm sure you can all understand that her parents have been wanting our relationship to fail for a long time, her mum had been harassing me and pouring salt in the wounds so again I let her have it except on facebook. again saying how she should let us move on and that we were trying to just move on and stop harassing me, here you are preaching about maturity doing this stupid stuff it's really quite pathetic. Then said that it was clear that she had her own best interests at heart and that she treats shannen like a child and like shit because she did! and that everytime her other daughter wasn't home or had her back turned would talk about how much of a bitch the said daughter was. Now 10 minutes later her mum calls me clearly upset at what I had said and went on to tell me she didn't expect me to sink so low and that she could have been talking about anyone in her facebook status and like literally expected me to care and feel sorry. then went on to say she couldn't believe I had such disrespect for shannens parents. And I said you lost my respect and respect is a two way street and needs to be earned and hung up on her. Now since then 3 days have passed. Briefly spoken to my ex and I do not want to sort things out, however she believes she did absolutely nothing wrong, nothing she did warranted me to speak to her like I did and she was disgusted at how I spoke to her mum. I point out that I had never spoken to her like that ever before, admitted that I was ashamed of it but also pointed out that she pushed me to my breaking point. I then mentioned that her mum started harassing me and wouldn't leave me alone, she abused me, tried to belittle me and was doing whatever she could to laugh at me about the fact that she had finally gotten what she wanted which was her daughter and me to not be together.

[gameova05]

So that's the story... I just need to know why on earth she believes she had done nothing wrong and is under the impression it is alright for her mother to speak to me the way she did and in her eyes I shouldn't have said anything back to her mum and let her abuse me.... She honestly doesn't believe she pushed me to my breaking point and is literally stuck up on the fact that I called her a psycho bitch and retaliated to her mother and treated her the same way she treated me. All I tried to do is get her to see how much she hurt me and get her to understand but she literally thinks she has done nothing wrong, I have apologised for speaking to as I did and told her I didn't mean any of it .. because I literally didn't I just wanted her to be hurting like I was so I said things that I knew would hurt her, I told her I was extremely disappointed that I was losing my best friend and that I was still kind of confused as to why it happened. She just replied with I have already explained it to you and I disagree with a lot of the things you have said and I don't want to re- explain myself...

So like seriously double standards? beginning of the relationship she almost cheats on me and continued to talk to her ex boyfriend. When I brought it up that it annoyed me she talked to him she got defensive and aggressive towards me. Now here we are in a similar yet completely different situation with me talking to a girl I had no feelings for she was just a cool chick who I looked at as a guy pretty much all I had said was hello and she flies off the deepend? I should also mention this other girl has her own boyfriend, and when growing up witnessed my dad cheating on my mother and I think it is disgusting and I would never put a women through that ever and she knew that I told her my stance on being unloyal the day we started dating.

Anyways All I am looking for is some outside input her, am I crazy ? did I overreact? am I the psycho?
or is she just a psycho mummies girl that has walked all over me the entire relationship? or what I seriously don't know, I have accepted what I did wrong in the circumstances and admitted that to her and apologized but she just won't admit to anything and is pretty much in the attitude of you spoke to me badly you are a bad man and I am perfect. she literally doesn't see how she spoke to me rude and pushed into saying what I said and doesn't think it was fair what I said to her mum after her mum abused me, threatened me and belittled me and mocked me before I had even spoken to her. All I know is that the last time we broke up she promised never to leave me again and to listen to her heart instead of her parents and when she sat there being extremely rude to me and said she wanted to break up again I just couldn't control myself anymore I hit a breaking point and just let her know how pissed I was and cxalled her a psycho bitch.

Ah wells If you got this far and didn't just be like TLDR: I thank you and apologize for the massive post haha and all the terrible grammar/spelling mistakes I kind of just got over it in the end my bad. Any advice would be appreciated If there is something you can see that maybe i can't because maybe I'm biased towards myself let me know, thanks guys

[basilandthyme]

Sorry Gameova, TLDR.

Any chance of an abbreviated version? Give us a summary in just 3 or 4 paragraphs and you'll get far more responses. And please do use paragraph breaks - the wall of text is impossible to read.

[gameova05]

ugh probably not it's a really long story... haha ohwells just writing it down helped I guess...

[basilandthyme]

oh well, good luck then.

[Boisdevie]

I'm impressed by the OP. Must have taken ages to type that out. Surprised it leaves time to even think about relationships. Possible candidate for our 2014 'Wall of text' award.

[michelle23]

It is amazing how you managed to put in paragraphs in your final post Believe it or not, I read it all and my eyes hurt!

Anyway, I think your reaction was justified in the end. She did push you to breaking point. She does sound very immature and a bit of a spoiled brat and getting parents involved is really uncalled for. From what you have written, I cannot think of any reason her parents would hate you so much unless she has fed them a bunch of lies about you.

Overall I don't think this relationship was dysfunctional. I think you had some ups and downs like all couples do and it does sound like overall you were good together but her breaking up with you over the smallest things is really an emotionally immature way of handling conflict and she has caused you a lot of hurt each time and I think over time, for whatever reason she has either become unhappy within herself or within the relationship and has taken it out on you who didn't deserve it.

It sounds like you put up with a lot of her sulking too and being a bit of a drama queen. Most young women are like this to a certain extent and it is important not to be too passive so she doesn't walk all over you. You left it too late to stick up for yourself.

I think you should learn from this and don't always try to be the peace maker in future if a girl is throwing a tantrum. Calmly tell her the silent treatment or whatever other attention seeking method she is using is not going to resolve the issue and it is better if you can be mature adults and talk about it so when she snaps out of her mood-come and talk to you.. don't cuddle her and talk her round for hours as you are just feeding her bulls**t

You sound like a great guy who will make another woman very happy so don't allow this experience to drag you down.

I have a feeling though it is not really over between you and her so if/when you decide to work things out, you need to be prepared to tell her what needs to change and her and her parents attitude are a big part of that

Best of luck to you

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I'm impressed by the OP. Must have taken ages to type that out. Surprised it leaves time to even think about relationships. Possible candidate for our 2014 'Wall of text' award.

It's January, but I will bet anyone, any amount that this wins the award, hands down. Longest LF post, ever.

Michelle, you get a gold star for reading all of that.

[Boisdevie]

It's January, but I will bet anyone, any amount that this wins the award, hands down. Longest LF post, ever.

Michelle, you get a gold star for reading all of that.

Michelle can only do it because she has lots of spare time. When she gets a proper job she won't have time. Me, I'm only here because the nursing staff let me have access to a computer if I promise to be nice and not bite any of them like I did last week.

[4 ratties]

Okay... Whew.. I'm bored tonight and actually read your whole 3 posts. Ru really done with her? U always get right back with her when she dumps u, which makes u look weak and like she can walk all over you. She is greedy, selfish, moody, drama, jealous.
But hey u guys have great sex so u should stay together. Haha?
She has been talking bad smack about u to her parents for 3 YEARS. She has talked so much smack that her parents are Nasty like this. She's immature u can't change her. She's been a horrible gf and u can do better.