My love lied to me over a cell phone purchase, need advice

[amazinggrace]

We consider ourselves as together, but we have not yet met. The reasons being are, I am in school and will be done this summer, and we both want to meet when I am not tied down to school and will be able to have more freedom and more time to spend with him once we meet. I have known him for 5 yrs. I am 21, and he is 27. We both live at home. I live with my family until I am a Nurse and can move out on my own and afford that, he lives with his mom and works at a store and works in receiving. He works nights, so he is sleeping when I am awake. He tries to fit me in a much as he can on line with chatting and using Google voice and we call and talk there.

In the past, there have been many times I would have loved to phone him and tell him what is going on in my day, such as recent ER visits for health issues and 2 hospital stays. I only have his home number, and he unplugs his phone to avoid calls, knowing that is the only way I can phone him. In the past, he has talked of getting a cell phone because he said how will work get in touch with him? or it is just a good idea that he look into it because of the many times I would love to just call and chat a bit, hear his voice. I am in the states, he is in Canada. When I was in the hospital, he told me it would have been better if he knew and I could have called him, but instead his home phone was unplugged and I had no way to do that. He talked about getting a phone then, he has mentioned it many times.

Turns out, he had a phone, and since November. At first I didnt know how long he had it, he just came online one day and said he has a phone! and we can talk now! and we were going to hook up our gmail and use it as emails too. The first weekend I was told he has one, I phoned him,. It was a Saturday night and he was to be hanging out with his 30 something yr. old brother and a friend that ditched him for a yr. but is back in his life now. He never answered his phone, I left a message, but he never answered that either. We were due to talk late that night at my 130 am, which is late as I work 3 part time jobs and go to nursing school full time. I called because I just wanted to say i love you and miss you...and i was going to ask can we meet at 1 am instead because I was getting really tired and most, wanted to still chat.

When we chatted he told me he didnt answer his phone because he was busy and I knew that. He also told me the phone is for when he is available, and he wasnt available when I called. He was gaming, or watching a movie at his house. I dont understand why he couldnt answer his call from me or just return a message. I also dont understand how a phone will work for us both when he said its only for when HE is available. As I said, he sleeps during the day, and I would love to call and say I miss him when he wakes up, or just touch base. Is using the phone with who loves you, wrong?

The other day I asked how long he had the phone, and he said since November, why? I thought why because of all the lies he told between Nov. and now and how he didnt have a phone, saying he has to look into it.

Is it my fault for wanting to call or use it as another way to keep in touch? He said he is not sorry for lying to me about it and said i overreacted about it the night he didnt answer it. He also claims he dont know how to empty the mailbox, so I cant even leave a message. One day I called and he told me it was in antoher room charging.

It just seems he dont really love me, and he sure doesnt want that line open where I can call him like he said he wanted. Because each time I tired to call, he never answerd.

Today he told me I keep secrets too, and have lied., when I asked what have I lied of , to tell me what lie I told, he said "Nah, you keep secrets and I dont need that either" and he also called me a hypocrite.

With anything I ask him of, he turns it around with that argument (you do it too) but didnt say he was sorry for lying to me for months and said he is not sorry.

Coming to the end of my nursing school, how can I meet the guy who lied for months over something like a phone? and say it is something he wished we had for us, and he was to look into getting one?

I dont get it, but I dont feel he wants me in his life, as much as he had been telling me.

Thank you for any comments.

[michelle23]

Are you sure this guy isn't in a relationship. Who doesn't have a cell phone these days or who unplugs there house phone regularly?? And why are you wasting 5 years on a guy you only communicate with online? Why have you not dated boys in your area?

[Boisdevie]

And why are you wasting 5 years on a guy you only communicate with online? Why have you not dated boys in your area?

Because she's quite clearly as mad as a box of frogs.

[Starnique]

First of all, he's not your boyfriend. How can you be in a relationship with someone you have never met? I know you were young when you met him and very naïve, but it's time for you to grow up and move on from this so called relationship. He has a GF or is seeing someone in some sort of way and probably spends a lot of time with her, if not live with her. Why else would he not give you the number to his cell? He has been had that phone and didn't want to risk getting caught. I'm sure you're not the only chic he is dealing with on the side either. Stop wasting your time. You're living in a fairy tale.
Move on. Its ridiculous if this is the only guy you've been communicating with.

[surfhb2]

Get professional help please

[smackie9]

omg stop whining! You can't expect someone to really be a part of your life when you live in differnt countries....all you are is penpals. I KNOW he's had a few flings, f ucks, GFs along the way. Stop this madness and date locally. Atleast you will be able to enjoy somemone that is by your side, touching you, loving you....you are throwing your life away on having this LDR.

[basilandthyme]

He unplugs his phone and doesn't give you his cellphone number because he doesn't want the woman he's with to know about you. Hon, it's not rocket science.

It's time to dump this pen-pal of yours and find a real boyfriend who is local to you.

[HeartIsAching]

Not even going to bother to say it; everyone has covered it.