What should i do?

[Collin]

Hello everyone

Three weeks ago me and my now ex-girlfriend broke up I am twenty two years old and she is seventeen.
We had a fantastic relationship together and we were very happy. After some time she met my parents and I met her parents. Unfortunately her parents never really approved me being her boyfriend. I always wondered what the reason was. It’s because I never could find a steady job I always got fired and I gave my best every single time. Even my parents know this, so her parents they were afraid I couldn’t give her a good future. Which ofcourse is normal in some situations. But not in my situation cause I fight to the limit to find a job everytime and everybody I know, know’s that I just had some real bad luck. My ex girlfriend knew this she saw that but her parents just didn’t approve of me, being the right boyfriend. So there was more going on I knew that much. My feeling was I just didn’t fit in their picture.

Anyway we were together for fourteen months. And every time we were at my house together. Or doing our things together we were happy and were truly in love. But everytime we went to her house to either eat there or sleep there. Her parents always said things to me but not direct just things I didn’t like it hurt my feelings. Knowing my ex girlfriend she loves her parents and because of her age she didn’t know how to handle the situation. We talked about it and we tried different things to avoid being there and so we did. Ofcourse I had to go there some times to pick her up to at least drink a coffee at her house. Which is only normal I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Because its her parents only normal she loves them so I did what I had to do.

All I knew is that her parents and in this case definitely her mother just wanted to break our relationship. So one evening me my girlfriend and my parents went out too have dinner together. After dinner my parents asked her if we had one more drink in our local bar. She said no cause she was tired, they also asked her if it was okay that I went with them for one more drink. And it was okay, in the car back my parents had decided to just go home and so would I. After dropping her off at her place, we drove by our local bar and still decided to go for one more drink. So I went with my parents, it was busy and we where having fun. Cause more people we know were present. So they made some pictures and all that with my parents and me with my parents.

Suddenly my exgirlfriend started texting me, and you can guess her mother was bitching about me again, about something that happened in the past. Just bullshit we already talked about. I was so tired of that crap and at that point I was having fun with my parents at our local bar. So I told her I went to sleep and 30 minutes later I went home to bed and nothing else happened.

Next morning she called me crying that I was indeed at the local bar. Because those pictures that were made were posted on facebook and she could see that. And that I lied that I went to go to sleep. I was with my mom and dad having a drink and I was so tired of her mother bitching again that I told her I went to sleep. She was calling me and I could hear her mom on the back ground enforcing and making the entire situation worse. So that indeed we would break up, after a long pointless discussion… we stopped talking and six hours later we texted each other and we broke up. We said our ( loveyou goodbyes )

Now… I still can’t believe that just because I was with my mom and dad at the local bar for an entire 45 minutes and that I said I went to go to sleep because her mom was bitching about me again… that we broke up just because of that. Since then I have made no contact I removed her from facebook, didn’t text her I kept quiet and I haven’t heard from her either. Now she made some friends on facebook who just don’t like me and are properly talking shit about me I can’t know ofcourse I just assume.

I feel so sad now I was so good to her and I feel like I am nothing in the end. And I also know she didn’t want to break up either. A man just knows when his girlfriends doesn’t like him anymore. And I’m the kind guy that just knows and understands that. Also I know she’s hurt to in some way. but her mom and dad are properly telling her to forget my ass all the time you know what I mean.

So anyway what do you guys think? I mean we’re not together anymore and I miss her but I don’t want to contact her because A: her parents would’t like that, and B: I have done nothing wrong at all! I would never ever cheat on any girl. So is this is a good thing or a bad thing that this happened. With her parents and all would I ever have a steady future with her anyway? I just want t know what you guys think I should do.

Thank you so much.

- Collin

[Lord Darkshire]

Gosh dude she is just a kid no matter what you think. It's not just her parents disapproval, but her mentality. She's not mature enough to handle an adult relationship. She's a teenager, she will get very emotional, possessive, jealous, and be confused over very simple things like you wanting to be left alone while you enjoy your evening. You can't honestly say that this is the kind of relationship that is appropriate for you. You both are at different places in your lives, she in high school, you looking for work and eventually moving out and living on your own. She's not there yet. She's gonna want to go to prom, go to college, hang out with friend, go to parties, etc. It was going to happen, that she will get a taste of freedom and befor you know it will meeting other guys and lose interest in you.

I have had many friends go through the same thing as you. The girl gets to drinking age and she's out clubbing and leaving them in the dust. So in reality, her parents wouldn't really be responsible for your breakup anyways.

And I know it's not about you not having a job that is their beef, they don't want their daughter stuck in a relationship that will take away her experience with being a teenager, enjoying her life, dating and flirting with boys and generally experiencing her youth to the fullest.

I suggest you go no contact, and IF she wants to see you again, let it be her to make that move. If you keep at her to get back, it you will only cause more of a riff with her parents and you definitly don't want that. It will play against you.

[lost_man]

Absolutely agree ^

I don't want to be mean but I'm going to be a little bit tougher on you though. I would add that if I were the parent of an inexperienced teenage girl, and I saw her boyfriend putting down successive job issues to "bad luck" and putting down something else that mattered as "bullshit we had already talked about", I would be seeing a pattern of avoidance and escapism and it would make me not trust you with my child's future.

If I can feel it just from reading your post, I'm pretty sure that is what they are feeling.

[Collin]

Absolutely agree ^

I would be seeing a pattern of avoidance and escapism and it would make me not trust you with my child's future. .

Now hold on...

Let me make something clear all i ever did in our relationship is pay attention to every little detail. And make sure everything was alright all the time. I never avoided any situation i always made sure to talk about everything. till things where settled down. Her mother was just making up stories to destroy our relationship, i knew that. And to start another conversation on the phone about something that didn't matter because we talked for hours about it, me and my exgirlfriend did. i said i went to go to sleep. So i thought i pick up that conversation the next day, face to face not on the damn phone when i'm having a drink with my parents. I am a good man i did everything to keep our relationship alive i don't think you know how it is to have someone in your relationship all the time meddling with everthing you do especially your girlfriend mother.

Your not sure of what their are feeling, because you don't know like i do only logic. Their intention was to destroy our relationship.

Second i didn't come her to get tougher on i came here for help so thank you "not"

[lost_man]

OK, well clearly you prefer to hear what you want to hear, so I hereby take my well intentioned comment back. Best of luck.