I need some manly advice....

[AfoolINlove09]

I have this knack for seeing a beautiful girl, and well imagining a dream relationship with her and soon that little thought turns into this state of mind I am in. Well, doing this does more harm than good obviously because now I am afraid to talk to her , because im afraid of messing it up. even though there never was anything. Well this is my short history with this girl. These are the things that seemed like she was interested, some of them may be obvious but im naive to these kind of things so bear with me please. one day i was having dinner and I saw her, whom i never met before, walk in and get her food and she sat down on a table ahead of me. I have been noticing her glancing at me a couple of times before this, well She was facing my right side and I was looking directly at her. I though she was cute and all and glanced at her. She glanced at me and we made eye contact and I looked away quickly. Her friend looked at me too. Then she got her phone and took a pic of me and I dont know if she knows if I saw her take it and she showed the same friend. They both had neutral faces the whole time and I was wondering why did she do this? I'm 100% sure she took it.

Now, I have her in my morning class (we're both college freshman) and I sat down near her and she looked at with a smile as I sat down. I looked at her and looked away quickly because I'm a coward lol. We do give each other glances but with neutral faces. I glance at her without smiling and she does the same, no smiling. Once, I overheard her talk about me with another guy friend who's in 4 of my other classes. I don't know what was said but I knew it was about me. They were all looking at me and I overheard him say "he's in my other classes".

Last week, I saw her walkin down the hall, we were going opposite directions and we saw each other. and as right before she passed me she looked at me through the corner of her eye. This happens a few times when I pass her.

Today, i embarrassed myself in front of the class. I was late and tried opening the door and I couldnt so I kept yanking it and it was really quiet in the inside. (Its an all glass door.) everyone looked at me. I just smiled and said "my bad"/ everyone laughed at me and even she did too. I played it cool thank god. idk where but I did hear one time that embarrassing situations make you more attractive or something like? idk. but i think this actually helped me... did it?

Back to my main point. I am in utter mental chaos with all kinds of questions in my head... Why do I fall in love (or infatuation) before I even talked to the girl. Did she like me and I was just naive to her signals? Can I still get her, will she be open to my effort or will she just be like "ahh youre old news"? Did my embarrassing situation help lol? I've never talked to her. Only glanced at her and her friend, which is really creepy but its just an annoying habit of mine when I really like a girl. Any advice? Id appreciate really detailed responses because I am such a novice in this dating scene. thank you all in advance..

[searock]

She looks at you and mentioned you to her friend because you are creeping her out with all the blank stares. I have a guy friend that does exactly the same thing, and it creeps girls out. Just stop it. If you want to watch, then engage with a smile or a conversation. Don't just stay there staring with no expression.

Don't mistake your feelings for love, as you said it's just infatuation. You can't possibly be in love with (or even just love) a person that you don't know.

You need to stop putting girls you are attracted to on a pedestal. Next time you see a girl you like, smile and go talk to her. Even if she rejects you, who cares? She's a stranger. There are plenty more girls out there.

Oh and as for embarrassing situations making people more attractive, that's insane. I mean, if you are attracted to someone, then sure, seeing them in an embarrassing situation (and not behaving like a jerk about it) can make them even more endearing to your eyes. But if you aren't attracted to someone (after seeing them for quite a long time), then no matter what situation you see them in, you won't magically become attracted to them.

[AfoolINlove09]

im not staring just glancing, like a quick peek. also, she kinda has a smile on her face when she does glance at me, maybe not a smile but the way she glances at me woudlnt suggest that she thinks im creepy.

[searock]

Advice still stands. Don't "glance" with a blank look all the time. Smile at her and go talk to her. Ask her out, even just for a cup of coffee to get to know each other. You're in the same class, so you'll have at least something to talk about.

[Rowen]

I agree. MAN UP and ask her out. Don't waste your time writing about her on a forum.

[snowman90]

Don't be shy and beta. GIrls don't like that. Next time you see her count to three and approach. Start talking to her. You'll get much farther this way and it's not even hard once you start it

[searock]

There's no such thing as "alpha" and "beta" people. That's PUA bullshit. Sad, sad guys.

[HeartIsAching]

Sorry searock... not true.

Some lead, some follow.

But... snwoman90 - also not true. Lots of women would rather have a 'Beta' over an 'Alpha'.

[searock]

In that interpretation (leaders vs followers), sure. But the whole PUA culture seems to imply that alphas are inherently better than betas, which is obviously false (neither is inherently better, they are just two different kinds of personality).

[snowman90]

Sorry searock... not true.

Some lead, some follow.

But... snwoman90 - also not true. Lots of women would rather have a 'Beta' over an 'Alpha'.

Agree. But you have to approach right? If he waits, nothing will happen.. at least I think so. I had such luck only once in my life that a girl approached me

[HeartIsAching]

In that interpretation (leaders vs followers), sure. But the whole PUA culture seems to imply that alphas are inherently better than betas, which is obviously false (neither is inherently better, they are just two different kinds of personality).

Alphas aren't better than Betas... they're generally just louder. More willing to assert themselves.

It doesn't make them stronger, or smarter, or faster... just more.

And here's the real meat of the matter - the squeaky wheel gets the grease. True story.

[HeartIsAching]

Agree. But you have to approach right? If he waits, nothing will happen.. at least I think so. I had such luck only once in my life that a girl approached me

Yep... snowman90 - you've got the have the balls to go for it.

There are a lot of cliche's for this, and I'm gonna lay a couple out for you:

You can't win if you don't play.
Winners never quit, and quitters never win.

Or - as my dad told me decades ago... "What's the worst she can do? Say no? So what? Move on to the next one."

[snowman90]

Yep... snowman90 - you've got the have the balls to go for it.

There are a lot of cliche's for this, and I'm gonna lay a couple out for you:

You can't win if you don't play.
Winners never quit, and quitters never win.

Or - as my dad told me decades ago... "What's the worst she can do? Say no? So what? Move on to the next one."

Spot on.. I know it sounds stupid to call this a game but it actually is a sort of a game. If you don't make the right moves you're doomed. Winners don't always win it, but they are the only one who do..

You need to have the right mindset. Guys usually know they have to approach, they know they have to but something is holding them back. This is where the power of your character really shows.

[searock]

snowman90, there are no rules other than a) be spontaneous (no point trying to hide who you are, it will backfire either way) and b) go for it.

[snowman90]

searock yeap, but what if something is holding you back? Who can help you then?