One man for sex, another for problems?

[MrKnobby]

This is my first post to the forum. You will have to excuse me, if I ask some rather naïve questions. I have been out of the dating game for 11 years....but that is another story.......

Three months ago I met a lady who I had about 15 dates with. She eventually told me that she didn't want to see me anymore. She was a rather bad at lying and not very good at hiding the truth either. But I gave her a chance and it was nice to get out the house

Her behaviour was odd......but to cut a long story short.....this is what she was doing:

Getting drunk, on dates with one guy and having sex with him...........then meeting up with another guy and unloading all her emotional / problems / difficulties on him whilst leading him on in a sexual way.

You can probably guess, I was the guy not getting the sex I can understand that if a women has a lot of problems she might frighten the guy away who she was getting the sex from, but can anyone tell why else she does this? She told me she doesn't have many female friends and her best friend doesn't speak to her anymore.

Do you think what she does is wrong or acceptable today? If you think it is wrong do you think I should tell her that she needs to stop messing around and find one man for everything? Or is it it none of my business?

Unfortunately, I am not taking about a teenager, or a women in her early twenties, she is a 40 year old who has never had a child.

What do you think?

[Boisdevie]

Who really cares what she does. Why does this matter to you?

[MrKnobby]

Good question.

It took me time to realise I was the second guy. When I found out, I was upset about it because I felt used.

The second reason why I am asking this question is because she is still texting me despite the fact she has told me that she doesn't want to see me anymore.

I was thinking that if this is normal behaviour should I forgive her and at least stay friends?

[HeartIsAching]

I'd tell her to **** off.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell her to come suck your dick and you'll think about continuing to talk to her. Being a dick to her will either get her to leave you alone really quickly, or you'll actually get your weiner sucked.

[smackie9]

I thought the "friends zone" was just for kids......

[MrKnobby]

You guys/gals made me laugh!

I'm not stupid, just rusty, about what modern dating is about.

I was never friend zoned because I used kiss this woman on the lips hard and she loved it. But at the same time she was very secretive about what she did with her time. when she wasn't with me, because she was seeing someone else. I couldn't give her sex, regardless, because I didn't feel I could trust her.

Mr HeartIsAching is probably right I should tell her to go away, I am sorry for the next guy she does this too.

[smackie9]

ok I will change that to you were her "cuddle bitch".

[HeartIsAching]

You guys/gals made me laugh!

I'm not stupid, just rusty, about what modern dating is about.

I was never friend zoned because I used kiss this woman on the lips hard and she loved it. But at the same time she was very secretive about what she did with her time. when she wasn't with me, because she was seeing someone else. I couldn't give her sex, regardless, because I didn't feel I could trust her.

Mr HeartIsAching is probably right I should tell her to go away, I am sorry for the next guy she does this too.

I wouldn't tell her to "go away"... Seriously, I'd tell her to f uck off. Don't screw around with the crazy bitch, let her have it with both barrels.

[Rowen]

I agree... That hoe needs to go.

[MrKnobby]

Thank you for those who replied, especially smackie. I googled the relationship a cuddle buddy and a F buddy has with one women. That explained this women's motivations precisely. I had no idea there was actually a name for this! Must be common, otherwise it wouldn't be on the urban dictionary web site.

A relationship in my mind is about compromise. No one is ever going to find the perfect partner, there will always be a little something that annoys you, but that's life! Seeing two men at once, for different things, I personally don't agree with it. It says a lot about the women that she is probably too lazy to find a great guy or just greedy/spoilt.

Seeing as I am a traditional man, who wants to do things right with a women, wants to have sex with a women when its the right time.......how can you suggest I prevent myself from getting into the 'cuddle buddy' zone again? Do I just ask the woman flat out if she is seeing someone else as well as myself? Any ideas?

[Rowen]

Just seek out the ones who actually want a relationship... Be upfront about what you want (a relationship) when meeting/talking to them and have them be upfront too. Ask them what they're looking for and etc etc...

[MrKnobby]

Rowen that is good advice, but that only works on the assumption the other person is honest. Some people tell you what they want you to hear to manipulate you. This particular lady told me, after I told her, that she wanted exactly the same thing as me and I fell for it.

She's still trying to add me on Skype.

[smackie9]

Just goes to show you how much of a nut job she is.

[MrKnobby]

Just goes to show you how much of a nut job she is.

Sociopath.