subtle signs he likes you

[Rainbow85]

Hi All,

there is a guy at work who I have great banter with and everyone tells me he likes me. I refuse to believe it is anything more than friendship mainly because we work together and also there is probably a little part of me that doesn't want to think he does and then be let down.

The last week or so there has been a few changes were he is going into detail about 'dates' he is going on but he can't keep eye contact when he tells me. We don't really text but on this occasion he started texting me telling me he had just got home and his plans for the evening - something which he has never done before.

Not sure what to think anymore...so question is what are the subtle signs someone likes you more than a friend...?

[basilandthyme]

If you squint your eyes really hard, they could be signs..... But all in all, you're grasping at straws. If he really likes you, he won't be so subtle

[Lord Darkshire]

He likes you and is trying to make you jealous. I doubt those are real dates he is going on. Everyone at work wouldn't make up stuff like that either.

I wouldn't recommend dating anyone at work because it causes all kinds of issues, like if things went sour you still have to see each other everyday, and that's tough. Plus you never know your company may frown upon interoffice romances as it kills productivity, not to mention all the gossip it causes amongst the other staff.

[Rainbow85]

He likes you and is trying to make you jealous. I doubt those are real dates he is going on. Everyone at work wouldn't make up stuff like that either.

I wouldn't recommend dating anyone at work because it causes all kinds of issues, like if things went sour you still have to see each other everyday, and that's tough. Plus you never know your company may frown upon interoffice romances as it kills productivity, not to mention all the gossip it causes amongst the other staff.

I think this is one of the reasons nothing is happening and will happen as long as we are working together. But I do like him but as a private person would not want the office talking. I am looking to leave anyway - so who knows...

[Rainbow85]

If you squint your eyes really hard, they could be signs..... But all in all, you're grasping at straws. If he really likes you, he won't be so subtle

Possibly, only time will tell.

[Wakeup]

If he actually wanted to ask you out, he would have by now. If he's so insecure that he has to make up stories hoping you'll be jealous (and then do what?) then he's not a good prospect anyways.

Stop responding to every tidbit he sends you and see if he actually steps up and asks you out. If he doesn't then why keep him around as your MALEgirlfriend? What good is that if you'd actually like to be his romantic partner? You waste your time.

[Lord Darkshire]

I think this is one of the reasons nothing is happening and will happen as long as we are working together. But I do like him but as a private person would not want the office talking. I am looking to leave anyway - so who knows...

Well if he knew you were leaving he may take the opportunity to ask you out. My question is, have you given him any sign of interest? If not this might be why he is doing these things, to see if you will react to it. But if you are being cool as a cucumber this would explain why he hasn't asked you out. Most guys don't have that "throw caution into the wind" confidence. They need some good solid signals before they make a move. Lord knows we have seen our fair share of threads here of guys worried about asking someone out....it gets to the point of ridiculous.

[Rainbow85]

Well if he knew you were leaving he may take the opportunity to ask you out. My question is, have you given him any sign of interest? If not this might be why he is doing these things, to see if you will react to it. But if you are being cool as a cucumber this would explain why he hasn't asked you out. Most guys don't have that "throw caution into the wind" confidence. They need some good solid signals before they make a move. Lord knows we have seen our fair share of threads here of guys worried about asking someone out....it gets to the point of ridiculous.

No, I am cool as a cucumber for example when he was telling me about his date I was agreeing with everything he was saying ie. 'Oh that sounds like a nice idea' etc. He took ages to tell the story and half why through I told him to get to the point which was that he going out with someone but he insisted on telling me the back story. This is main reason for his initial text to say he waffles on and then two hours later he felt the need to tell me he had only just left work.

[Lord Darkshire]

Well he is trying I'll give him that much. The rest is up to you.

[Rainbow85]

Well he is trying I'll give him that much. The rest is up to you.

But is he, this is the question? Just friends, or maybe more? We shall see.

[Wakeup]

I told him to get to the point which was that he going out with someone

Then he's going out with someone. Why are you wondering if he wants to go out with you when he's already seeing someone? Did you want to compete in his harem?

[Rainbow85]

Then he's going out with someone. Why are you wondering if he wants to go out with you when he's already seeing someone? Did you want to compete in his harem?

it was only their first date. I wouldn't be asking these questions if he wasn't single.

[Lord Darkshire]

Your co-workers told you he likes you. Why? because he's told a few people he does. But if you don't give him any signals, he ain't going to ask you out, he's going to give up. Why are you so guarded? If you don't take risks you will never see change. You will be stuck in the same old, secure, go nowhere life.

[Rowen]

Yeah, I agree with Lord. He's trying to rub your face in it and make you want him more.

Personally, if I were you, I'd be repulsed by the fact he's someone I work with (Don't shit where you eat) and the fact he's playing games. Do you really want a guy that's going to be passive aggressive like that?

[Wakeup]

Hi All,

there is a guy at work who I have great banter with and everyone tells me he likes me. I refuse to believe it is anything more than friendship mainly because we work together and also there is probably a little part of me that doesn't want to think he does and then be let down.

What exactly do you want from this guy? You're so concerned about being "let down" that you stagnate yourself from actually getting what you want. So figure out what it is you'd like to see happen and then work towards that goal. He's seeing someone, it's a first date. That's far more advanced then what you currently got going on with him.

BTW: Good for you for having some personal boundaries in place in that you'd not be pursuing period if he was in a relationship.

Just to be clear... I do NOT agree that he is rubbing it in your face so that you'll want more. He's not given you any indication that he wants more so what gives anyone the impression that he's trying to make you jealous is beyond me.
Are you jealous? If you are then get figuring out what you want for a start. Your coworkers could just be guessing that he likes you because you talk to one another a lot... which is what friends do.

If you're so afraid of getting "let down" and you really want to find out if he cares the least little bit past simple friendship then stop answering the crumbs he sends you. If he asks why you're backing off then tell him you don't want another male friend, that you're looking for more then that and then let him decide whether he has the ballzzz to step up to the plate and actually ask you out. That way you're letting him know what you actually want and you're leaving it all up to him (the safe way)