subtle signs he likes you

[Lord Darkshire]

She's not pursuing him because of set personal boundaries, she fears rejection and doesn't want to make a fool of herself.

[Wakeup]

She's not pursuing him because of set personal boundaries, she fears rejection and doesn't want to make a fool of herself.

Yes... that's clear. My "good for you" was in response to her post to me indicating that she wouldn't even be here if he was in a relationship and she goes on to explain that it was just one date he said he had with the other girl. Not even pursing anything if she knew he was in an actual relationship is what a personal boundary is.

I've given her some advise on how to let it be known that she wants more then friendship in a way that is safe for her. But, first she actually has to know what she wants.

[Lord Darkshire]

There's a reason why she is here. She does like him but is afraid to misread his intentions and look like an idiot. She wants us to confirm whether he likes her or not, even tho she has most of the whole staff saying that he does. She fears of being put into the friends zone, probably because it has happened before, and there was possible humiliation. Like she wants that to happen again. (I'm just guessing of course). She is even being guarded with us so who knows where any of this will go.

[smackie9]

Ooooow I'm curious. So what is you really want to happen? What are your expectations?

[fearoflove]

If you are afraid to ask him out, just give him signs he won't miss. Flirt ALOT. If he is available, he will ask you out.

[HDBadger]

So...the OP is jealous, insecure, has walls up, and, like most women, wants to do nothing but
expects to be asked out anyway.

Yeah, this will turn out well.

[Rowen]

If you are afraid to ask him out, just give him signs he won't miss. Flirt ALOT. If he is available, he will ask you out.

Why play games? Be direct.

[H2024you]

Most of me and my friends are a little more...forthcoming. Generally if I like a girl I'll steer the conversation towards sex or something that would make her blush and than start flirting with her. Makes them all giggly and stuff lol, but every guy is different. I guess it depends on his personality type and what he wants from you (relationship, sex, friends)

[MaryPulson]

As far as my brother told me, if a guy really likes a girl and plans on pursuing it would be very obvious. But it might be also that he's one of those who is afraid of telling what he feels or it might also be that you are some sort of his Plan B. One way to find out, don't respond. He'll wonder why and that's when you can clarify things with him just to be clear.

[Wakeup]

So...the OP is jealous, insecure, has walls up, and, like most women, wants to do nothing but
expects to be asked out anyway.

Yeah, this will turn out well.

I thanked your post but I removed it because it got me thinking. "Most women" don't want to do nothing but in today's day and age of opposite sex friendships, so many women not trusting other women and having mostly male friends and so many male girlfriends, the lines of romantic interest and platonic interest has become so blurred that it's nice to have a guy with confidence pursue first to the point that that line is not blurred and its clear what he's doing.

If men would back away from women who only want to be platonic friends then this "most women want to do nothing" wouldn't even be an issue.

[HDBadger]

I thanked your post but I removed it because it got me thinking. "Most women" don't want to do nothing but in today's day and age of opposite sex friendships, so many women not trusting other women and having mostly male friends and so many male girlfriends, the lines of romantic interest and platonic interest has become so blurred that it's nice to have a guy with confidence pursue first to the point that that line is not blurred and its clear what he's doing.

If men would back away from women who only want to be platonic friends then this "most women want to do nothing" wouldn't even be an issue.

If this, if that, but this, but that. Bottom line: The majority of women still want guys to do the pursuing. If that's what they want --- and, for most women, it is --- I have no problem with it. What I do have a problem with is women like the OP complaining when she has done absolutely nothing to achieve her goal.

I've said it once and I'll say it again: It's not a man's job to pursue women. It's not a man's job to compliment a woman, or make her feel good about herself. Life rewards those who go after what they want. I have the utmost respect for women who go after what they want in a man, and zero sympathy for women who complain when they sit around, batting eyelashes, and no men approach them.

[Wakeup]

If this, if that, but this, but that. Bottom line: The majority of women still want guys to do the pursuing.

Its what men have always done. They've been the hunter and we've been the gatherers. It's sexy and it's what most PUA and Dating coaches will tell you that is what you should be doing because you'll be more successful if you do. That doesn't negate the fact that there are now very, very blurred lines as to what is just attention that platonic friends show one another and what people with real romantic interest show one another. There is even sleeping over and cuddling in your opposite sex friends bed for goodness sakes. It's not conducive to anyone to be indulging in blurred lines that make you feel like there is more to the friendship then what there is.

If that's what they want --- and, for most women, it is --- I have no problem with it. What I do have a problem with is women like the OP complaining when she has done absolutely nothing to achieve her goal.

I get that and I agree. I'm not debating that.

I've said it once and I'll say it again: It's not a man's job to pursue women.

No it's not but a guy will be more successful if he is the INITIATOR and then the pursuit is give and take. First he does then she does some of it. It's a fine dance and if one is always doing the initiation doing all the pursuing while she waits on her silk chase lounge for more and more pursuit, then it's certainly just a waste of his time just as it would be a waste of hers if she were the only one doing all the initiating and pursuit.

It's not a man's job to compliment a woman, or make her feel good about herself.

Initiating and being the first to pursue has nothing to do with stroking a woman's ego. It has everything to do with the art of the dance.

Life rewards those who go after what they want.

that goes for men as well.

I have the utmost respect for women who go after what they want in a man, and zero sympathy for women who complain when they sit around, batting eyelashes, and no men approach them.

I have the same respect for a man that goes after what he wants and backs out when she only wants to be his friend. I have no respect for any gender that complains about their life in general but does nothing to improve it.

I have even less respect for men who pretend to just want friendship but won't let a girl know that he would like more. Posers are lame.

[smackie9]

I think the reason for a lot of the blurr is texting and the internt. This generation hasn't learned how to socialize. All their years of being drivien to school, kept in the house sitting in front of a game consol, computer and phones, it's no wonder they are so inept to ask someone out or flirt.....it's made everyone soooooooo afraid of being rejected blah blah....it's quite pathitc really....a bunch of damn pu ssies.

[lovewhisperer]

he likes you if he texts you a lot

[Tall Penguin]

Sorry, if he is mentioning over dates, then whatever was there is now over.

Unless it's in the context of, "I've been going on all these dates and they are not working out". Anything other than that and he' sending clear message that he has moved on.