Please help me. I don't know what to do

[bs3991]

Hi everyone. I'm an 18 year old senior in high school and I've had this problem for a while now and I'm looking for some advice.

So last year I had a class with this girl who I developed feelings for. She seems like an amazing girl who is really down to earth. I'm not really attractive so my confidence isn't great and she's extremely pretty. This made me feel very nervous to the point where I couldn't even be near her and I was terrified of talking to her. I never talked to her once when I had the chance and I regretted it once summer break came around. It's probably my biggest regret ever.

Once the new school year came around, I started seeing her in the hallway almost everyday and it made me feel really bad and made me feel even more nervous and afraid. I tried talking to her once with the help of a friend but I couldn't even say a word. As the year went on I started thinking about her more and more and started feeling sad and angry at myself for not doing anything. I'm now feeling extremely depressed and sad and all I do is sleep when I get home just so I don't have to think about it. I've also cried a few times because I hate myself so much. To make matters worse, I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend who is away at college which makes me feel hopeless. I'm just in a really dark place right now because of this and I feel like a creep and an idiot.

I just have no idea what I should do. I still see her sometimes but I don't think I can go up to her even though I really want to. I have a few friends who also know her but I don't think they could or even would try to help me. I know she has a boyfriend and we don't know each other but at this point I wish I could just tell her everything just to get it out. I know some people will say forget about her but I know I cant do it.

So what do you guys think I should do? Should I try to tell her everything and if so what should I say and how should I approach it? Or should I talk to a friend and ask them to talk to her for me and hope she approaches me?

Sorry for the long post. I just need a lot of help and advice.

[basilandthyme]

bs, I think you should work on your social skills regardless of whether or not you want to date this girl. You can't spend your life being afraid to talk to women! Each time you go out to something social, make a point to get to start talking to a girl who you don't know. Just like anything else, the more you practice, the easier it will get.

Anyway, I caution you to not tell her how you feel because she'll think you're nutty.

1. you can't love someone you don't know. If she's aware of this fact, you'll seem emotionally immature. What you feel for her is infatuation. Love is something far less nerve-wracking which comes as you get to know someone properly.
2. most girls are (rightfully) wary of men who don't know them but confess feelings. It's too much, too soon. Asking a girl out for coffee and getting to know her slowly is a far better proposition than confessing to feelings.
3. she's got a boyfriend. So if you do tell her how you feel, the only appropriate response she can give is to start avoiding you out of respect for her boyfriend.

Please show some respect for her relationship. Don't approach her. Don't get a friend to approach her. Accept that she's taken.

But do go and start getting to know other girls and practice your social skills.

[Mattiemae]

Get out of your comfort zone and just speak to what ever woman is around for practice. I know what can help is getting a diversified perception of the world and topics. When you are around people than when they start talking about television programs, literature, art, science, religion, politics, you have something to fall back on and add to the conversation. Really putting yourself out there and learning to be confident with woman whether it's your sister, mother, friend, or stranger, you always have opportunities to get more familiar with interacting with woman. Use them and learn more about yourself, and have faith you can move in a positive direction. If you practice relating to woman, when you want to be with a woman it makes it much easier for you.