to know if he wants a relationship without making it seem like you want one?

[emmmz]

I have been seeing my ex and things have seemed to be going in a positive direction. We broke up a little over 1 year ago and for an entire year we were off and on. And then when I would bring up the subject about wanting a serious relationship he didn't want to see me anymore. at one point we completely stopped talking for a while and didn't see each other for months. He went away about 5 months ago, he was fare away in a different province for his job. He was away for about 3 months and then when he came back he texted me and even showed up at my house. At first he seemed like he just wanted to have s*x. But then when we actually hung out it seemed like he was really interested. He seemed much more open to me, he kept telling me how beautiful I am, he also kept saying "wow you really changed". He also told me he missed me. During the night and in the morning when we woke up he was cuddling me a lot and kissing me on the back and also held my hand. He was really passionate with me, kissing me and caressing me a lot. The next day before I left he kept saying "I wish you could stay longer", he gave me a long and romantic hug and gave me a long kiss before I left. I saw him a second time and he still seemed like he was way more interested in me and kissed me before leaving.

I have been away for over 2 weeks now, so we haven't been able to see each other but he has been texting me at least 2-3 times a week telling me he misses me and wishes to be with me at the moment. He also called me babe and baby two times.

I want to know if he wants a serious relationship with me or if he just wants s*x but I'm too scared to ask because of what happened in the past when I would ask he would basically tell me he didn't want to see me anymore because he didn't want anything serious and didn't want to hurt me. However the way he is acting now is VERY different to the past. He is being way more affectionate and is keeping in touch with me consistently, where as in the past he would never call me babe or never tell me he missed me and also would only contact once in a long time.

Does anybody know of a way I could ask him without making it seem that it's what I want? Or something I could say to find out?

[HDBadger]

Nope. You just have to ask him.

[basilandthyme]

I would expect that if he wants a relationship with you, he would have said so. Or at least made an effort to take you out on dates.

[4 ratties]

yes u need to tell him you want a relationship again because its true. not saying something because you think he might react badly, is not healthy. if this relationship is finally going to work this time, communicating and being on the same page is very important.