Totally confused

[letsgetjiggy]

Hi

I hope someone can help me with this.
I met a guy a year ago on a dating site. It was going fantastic and he moved in with me. I really thought he was my soul mate. He was everything I ever wanted from a man.
Then it all started going wrong and he was becoming more and more aggressive. He is a recovering alcoholic and has been dry for 3 months.
we split up several times and each time we missed each other and got back together. Then in January this year we split up and this time I really felt it was for good. I accepted that I wasn't going to have a future with this guy and I need to forget about him and move on. We have not been in touch since.
In the meantime I had been speaking to a guy I have known for 3 years and he asked me out on a date to which I agreed.
Suddenly the other night I caught myself thinking about my ex and out of the blue I txt him simply saying " I have to see you " He immediately agreed and we arranged to meet at the weekend.
I went on the date with the guy I have know for sometime and we had a brilliant time. I ended up going back to his and one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together and it was great. He said he wanted to spend a lot more time with me. I agreed to meet him again 2 days after
Then here comes the problem: I felt that I wouldn't be bothered if my ex txt and said he'd changed his mind. Of course he didn't change his mind and I thought well I will go and meet him and i'm sure I will realise that it isn't meant to be and I would have closure. How wrong I was when I met him all the beautiful feelings I had were still there and he was saying how he loves me dearly and how he wants us to have a life together. we had an amazing time together and I felt like a princess again. My family will no longer accept him because of what happened, so I would have to see him in secret as I don't want them knowing
So now I am totally confused as I don't know if I'm on a hiding to nothing with my ex given he will always be an alcoholic albeit a non drinking one at the moment. I will always have the fear that he will drink again. I feel totally guilty for sleeping with the other guy but I genuinely like him and love spending time with him.
can anyone offer me any advice please
Someone help as I don't know where to turn

[Mattiemae]

Alcoholics will be your worst type of relationship. Their is alot of emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical abuse. While we would like things to work out and get better there is an addiction their that most times than not will be in relapse and a life time battle. Growing up with Alcoholics I can tell you it never stops, and the abuse will never end. It is a huge struggle, and battle for them to stop drinking and be rid of the childhood issues, as well as the abusive behaviors and patterns.

I'm not saying that some don't move out of addiction, but it takes alot of time and patience. Sometimes years of being in recovery with 12 step programs, and Alanon, and counseling. I'm telling you from experience you really don't want to go down this road for the rest of your life.

You deserve so much better, and it doesn't really matter what a nice guy he is, there are many nice guys out there, and of course some of them have been damaged from childhood, while others make it out of there, and others that are from healthier families. There is no honesty in lying or hiding a relationship.

The object would be to find a healthier relationship based on love rather than lust, addiction, and abuse. We get bored with the nice guys that don't have addictions and treat us badly, because we're so used to be abused and living in drama. Really start looking at the men that are responsible with their lives and don't use or abuse substances. That are responsible with their money and goals in life. Go for the men that are going somewhere in life and that will value and respect you.