Guys I have one more question sorry about this

[Starnique]

Exactly, the baby should be put first. That's exactly why I would try to be patient and wait until the baby is born before stressing out the person that has to give birth to her/him.

I agree with that part. My initial post states that he should wait until she have the baby then get her straight.

[searock]

Yep, I agree. I basically said the same thing - at least that's what I meant :-).

[Starnique]

Imagine a 5'1" Hermione-looking girl with huge glasses (because that's how I picture searock)

lmao. I picture her to be pretty and a activist and sort of serious and all that lol.

[searock]

Imagine a 5'1" Hermione-looking girl with huge glasses (because that's how I picture searock) saying "get the hell out of my house!"

I lol'd.

Lol, I looove Hermione (book-Hermione of course )

[searock]

Aww thanks Star ^_^!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

For some reason, I always picture Searock as one of my friend's girlfriends. Maybe because they're both do-gooder, softies.

Didn't know who Hermione was, but just looked her up and does look similar to what I picture.

[confusedguy1012]

Exactly, the baby should be put first. That's exactly why I would try to be patient and wait until the baby is born before stressing out the person that has to give birth to her/him. It doesn't mean I wouldn't be pissed out of my mind, and it doesn't mean I would just forget what happened. It just means that I would try to be patient and wait until after the baby is born before taking any decision.

Okay but I just don't think I can be calm till the baby comes I see her differently now it's not going to be the same I don't even wanna be in the same bed with her... I want to beat him to death and figure this out with her. I'm really mad I don't even wanna be there with her when she has the baby I don't care it's not as big a deal as it was before all this before I was having a child with the love of my life. Now it feels like she's just a girl I may or may not have gotten pregnant. How can I love someone who probably cheated on me and what if it's not even my baby. I don't know you guys are just making me think about a lot of stuff and it's not the first time I would have been cheated on by and I don't wanna do that again.

BTW: She wouldn't be screwed of I left her she'd just move in with him...

[mwtzzz]

I approached it as sensitively as I could I held her and said that I love her and I want nothing more than to be with her forever. Then I told her her that I would really appreciate it if she wasn't as friendly with him as she is.

On first glance, this seems like it should be the right way to deal with it, and it would be if everyone was honest about things. But the fact is, if a person is cheating or somehow being dishonest, then when they hear something like this, they know you're hooked, and they know they can manipulate you.

how do I approach this without her freaking out again and how can I get her to talk to me? Once again i'm sorry for taking up all your guys time. Thanks in advance!

My advise is to draw the line: tell her if you ever find out again that she's "cuddling" with someone else, you'll break up with her, she'll never see you again. This is really the only way you can find out her true intentions and at the same time free yourself of torment.

[KingZ]

lmao. I picture her to be pretty and a activist and sort of serious and all that lol.

Yeah. A pretty serious activist.

[KingZ]

She probably looks like a dik-dik with glasses.

[searock]

I'd imagine a dik-dik to look more like this:



Anyway, OP, again I ask you, how can you have changed your mind so quickly about her? You've known this woman for 5 years and have been with her for 4… do you really think she has been cheating on you, and if so, how come you never noticed anything before? I mean, sure, when she cuddled with her friend that was emotional cheating, but now you're actually questioning whether the child is yours?! Don't you know her at all? I totally understand your anger, I would feel the same way, I just don't quite believe that things were so perfect before this one incident. Surely there were other signs, if she was cheating on you?

[confusedguy1012]

Anyway, OP, again I ask you, how can you have changed your mind so quickly about her? You've known this woman for 5 years and have been with her for 4… do you really think she has been cheating on you, and if so, how come you never noticed anything before? I mean, sure, when she cuddled with her friend that was emotional cheating, but now you're actually questioning whether the child is yours?! Don't you know her at all? I totally understand your anger, I would feel the same way, I just don't quite believe that things were so perfect before this one incident. Surely there were other signs, if she was cheating on you?

I really didn't see any signs but I work a lot how do I know. I don't know you guys just make good points and plus she's always been out of my league anyway. I mean I know she kinda cheated on the guy she dated before me. So I don't know what to think..

[searock]

Out of your league, what does that even mean?! You've been together for 4 years, you're having a baby together, you're not in high school, ffs.

It seems to me like your relationship was never as perfect and wonderful as you say it was. You were often away, you never really believed that you two belonged together (because you put her on a pedestal), you probably never really trusted her and she probably took you for granted. There was no deep connection/communication, otherwise you would have known / wouldn't be questioning it now.

[confusedguy1012]

Out of your league, what does that even mean?! You've been together for 4 years, you're having a baby together, you're not in high school, ffs.

It seems to me like your relationship was never as perfect and wonderful as you say it was.

It means i'm quite aware that a lot of other guys could have her and I got her outta scheer dumb luck

[searock]

I know what it means, it's just that adults don't generally use that phrase… it's something immature high school kids use. You've been with her for 4 years, you're having a baby together and yet you still think she's too good for you - based solely on her looks? My, my.