girl im in love with has a bf

[morgann]

hi guys. this is my second post on this forum. first i should mention that im a pretty shy guy. so, there is a girl i am RELLY in love in, but she has a boyfriend. i asked her out to go an watch a movie together and then she told about me about her relationship. before that i always flirted with her, and she responded. but after this i didnt really talk to her, because i felt kinda embaressed. only smalltalk and stuff. but i know she likes me.

1)how can i approach her without being creepy or needy? i feel that there is something between us (everytime i talk to her she has the biggest smile on her face, i make her laugh etc.).

2) for the ladies: would you ever leave your current bf for somene "better"?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Typically, shy guys aren't seen as "better". She likes the attention from you, that's it. Move on.

[snowman90]

You can get her of course but you'll have to show her you're better than the other guy and you'll have to fight like never before.. It can work but there is no guarantee. I know it can work, I've seen some of these things in my life so it can be done but with a lot of patience.

[morgann]

and what would you suggest me to do? just wait or what ?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Find a girl who is available, and don't communicate with this girl.

[basilandthyme]

If you want to steal someone else's girlfriend, you'll need to be super confident, seductive and suave.

Having said that, I'm not seeing anything which indicates she's interested in you. Flirting doesn't necessarily indicate intent. And smiling and laughing is what most of us do when we're with a friend.

[snowman90]

and what would you suggest me to do? just wait or what ?

What is she like? Shy? Confident? Does she want a leader? Have you touched her so far (friendly touches you know..) and how she responded? I had a similar situation a few years ago and I could get her after just three meetings so I know it's possible but I have to know her. This girl I was dealing with was so damn shy and she needed a leader so I could just grab her hand and she allowed everything.

[mwtzzz]

People who are attached often find it easy to mildly flirt with or show interest in others. It's a "safe" thing to do, they don't have to commit to anything. In any case, I would suggest you simply flat out ask her. Tell her you really wish she would drop her boyfriend and start going out with you. See what happens. The longer she spends with her current boyfriend, the more time they have to cement their attachment to eachother.

[morgann]

she is kinda shy, yes. i guess she does want a leader. ofc i have touched her (just her hand. she smiled and didnt pull it away). @snowman90 what exactly did you do to "get her"
@basilandthyme i am confident. i am smart, i look kinda good (i would rate myself as an 8), im studying med and i have a good sence humor. shy might be the wrong word to describe myself. i just dont like to talking much. im the talking-is-silver-silence-is-gold-guy. i dont have any problem talking to guys or girls. im just afraid of talking to her because i might **** up... thats basicly it

[bekho]

First.. Carry on being friendly with her. Make it more playful and more fun. Make her forget that she is someone's gf. Make it to the point where other people think you're a new couple when you're together. Then when the lines are blurred you can be a little more daring. Ask her to the movies or something. Or say there's a place u wanna try out. and if she says that she has a bf or whatever, just overlook it and say you know but it doesn't matter. From then. If it gets that far then you've clearly got chemistry. And she's willing to stray for you.

The problem with flirting while in a relationship is that it maintains a self image which allows the opposite sex to fawn over them. Either as an ego booster or whatever, its a dangerous game.

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[Mattiemae]

There's enough women in the world, and probably more women than men. So you have many options! This girl is already with someone, and you should respect that, and you are crossing boundaries. It's all manipulative and mind games. While you may win, what if some guy takes her away from you? I've seen that happen plenty of times in this scenario. Woman or man steals someone else's partner and the same thing happen again only you're the one being hurt at that point. Women are no trophie's to be won. lol Fortunately sly words, and suave moves work if the woman doesn't know she's being manipulated, but if she does, she'll see right through you. So better to be honest than play games.

She just happens to be your focus at the moment.