Does she want to reconcile or just be friends?

[getupkid49]

I posted this in the "broken hearts" page but to spare some of the longevity, I wanna cut to the point and see if I can get a woman's point of view.

*** is the most important part, skip to that to avoid background story.

Me and my current ex dated a couple months, thing's we're incredible. I can't remember the last time I was as happy. But we moved very fast from the beginning, basically considered ourselves dating within a couple weeks of talking/seeing each other. Still it was perfect up until the final two weeks. I started getting a little paranoid when I shouldn't have, started asking too many questions when I know I didn't need to and she ended it because she thought I didn't trust her. Way more detail and emotional breakdowns on her end because of how I was, but I'll spare the details.

After a week or two of no contact on my end she contacted me, bringing up stuff she gave my friend to give me even though he obviously told me himself. I said I know she was looking for a reason to contact me which she didn't deny. She went into wanting to be friends before she could jump back into a relationship because she did miss me. I was spiteful and told her I don't feel comfortable being friends with exes, she accepted my decision and we went into no contact for almost 2 months. We exchanged texts once because a girl she used to be friends with (who has had a crush on me for a year now) messaged me saying my ex was dating somebody new. I asked my ex about it because I was under the impression that's why she ended it. She ignored this and told me I should just date the girl who told me that. I didn't continue the conversation.

A few weeks ago she randomly messaged me on facebook, apologizing for being rude during that conversation (it happened 3+ weeks prior) and assured me she wasn't dating anybody and that she hopes all is well. Two weeks later I wished her a happy b-day, she thanked me and that was it.

****
A week ago today is where I need the most advice/opinion. I had bought tickets for a band I've wanted to see since I was a teenager, she didn't hear of them until I brought up I got tickets, for us. She said they were good but wasn't crazy about them. Regardless we broke up before the show so I gave a friend her ticket. Last Friday was the show and I saw her walk in, she didn't notice me because the place was huge but I saw her. She texted me a little later asking if I was there, I said yes and kept it short. After I wouldn't respond to texts, she would text me something else, and I'd answer or stop talking...after all, she's my ex and I was trying to move on. When the band started I made my way to the left side of the stage, my ex texted me asking if I were on the floor, I said I was at the stage and 5 minutes later she taps me on the shoulder all smiles and says hello. She remained behind me, eyes locked on me it seemed, the rest of the show.

The next day I felt the urge to jokingly text her saying it was nice seeing her, despite not being friendly. She pointed out I didn't seem so thrilled and ending up behind me was "an accident," even though she really had to push through people to end up directly behind me, randomly towards the left side of the stage. I asked how she was but all she had to say was she's ok and lost her old job but working with her mom now. I told her I'm great, about to get a new higher paying job, etc. She started asking things I wouldn't think she remembered, like if I finished the "Fender Jazzmaster/Jaguar" guitar project I was working on and if I sold my VW Jetta project. Something not even my friends remembered. I was very nice back but kept the conversation short.

Two days later she sends me a friend request on Facebook, liked two things I posted that day and has been all week..stuff I know she isn't familiar with (song lyrics to unpopular songs, etc). I only texted her the one time which was last saturday, but she texted me yesterday and today after I posted that I got the new job, congratulating me. The two text conversations she initiated were very brief, but mostly her asking about me and my family.

The Facebook stuff seems important because I did some lurking of mutual friends, she barely likes anything anybody posts but has been into my posts all week...significant? Who knows but I can't help but notice. As I mentioned earlier, I was very happy with her I just let some things get the best of me. I would love nothing more than to call her mine again and as of now I'm taking this is as slow as possible but I'm not sure on what SHE wants. Based on what I gathered and her facebook, she's still single. I just worry she misses having me being part of her life, but not enough to try a relationship again..but why make her presence known to this extent to just be friends?

Sorry for how incredibly long this was, but what are some female opinion's on her behavior if you've seen or did it yourself? Should I keep letting her contact me but be polite when she does so I'm not rushing? Thanks a ton.

[searock]

I wouldn't read too much into it, she's just being friendly. If she wanted you back, she would have let you know. If you still aren't comfortable being "friends" with her, you can change your settings on facebook so that she doesn't see what you post, and you don't see what she posts. You need to start moving on.

[Valixy]

I think that she is showing a bit more interest than the usual ex. Maybe you could be more open towards her, entertain the conversation, initiate an encounter, if you're still interested. If she suddenly drops the ''we're just friends'' line, then you'll know for sure that she should only belong to your past.

[getupkid49]

I wouldn't read too much into it, she's just being friendly. If she wanted you back, she would have let you know. If you still aren't comfortable being "friends" with her, you can change your settings on facebook so that she doesn't see what you post, and you don't see what she posts. You need to start moving on.

I gotta ask though, how many times do exes really come out of the blue and say "I want you back?" I've gone out with exes before, 3 past ones, some in similar fashion to this but none have ever came right out and said that was their intention. 1 had been broken up with me for around 2-3 months ended up dating me for 5 years after that, but originally she went about it similarly to this ex now, eventually saying they didn't know if I still felt the same so they didn't want to just throw their emotions at me. Different people though so that's why I asked here.

Reason I asked is because I've noticed on other threads guys and girls saying "if they don't state they want to reconcile right from the get go, they aren't interested." I just don't see the logic really because I personally would never want to let my intentions out clearly so sudden.

Not saying you are wrong, just want to hear you justify it really. And there's more I could add but I didn't want to list every action she's done so far in the thread. I fell asleep after work and I woke up to a missed call from her and a text saying something about a girl she saw we had met while dating and that she was at the bar with our mutual friend and his girlfriend, and that she wishes I came. I can't help noticing her actions towards me are almost identical to that of how she was when we first started talking, right down to her method of text conversations (somewhat aloof at first, then gradually picking up speed). But as mentioned before and comparing to how she was in the beginning, she isn't somebody that just spills her guts without getting a feel for my intentions/emotions. Realistically, say she does miss me but isn't sure if I still miss her (after all, I'm being the aloof one here) it would be a huge stab at her ego if she were to confess her feelings for me to turn her down. We've only been contacting each other directly for a week now but actual texting didn't start until two days ago.

[Shivangi]

I feel she is still very much into you. If you are still interested in her take it slowly....with small talks etc. and see where it is taking you!

[getupkid49]

I feel she is still very much into you. If you are still interested in her take it slowly....with small talks etc. and see where it is taking you!

Last night she was out with friends and ran into a mutual one and asked why I wasn't with him and that she wishes I was. When she got home she texted me asking if I was still up and actually had a lengthy conversation until 3:30 am, it felt how it did when we first started talking. I'm taking this as slow as possible, I'm just being friendly and charming like how I won her over originally. She brought up specific things again like what size coffee I get with how many sugars I'd use, that she knows I refuse to ever go to the doctor because she seemed concerned that I was sick the past couple days which she's also been keeping up with.

Still, I just can't stop thinking "what if" she really just wants me to be her safety net because nothing else is going on right now, or the dreaded "friend-zone." I don't want to ask as I'm hoping it'll work itself out and she'll establish herself what she wants, but little at a time. Thank you for the response!