Why would this guy act like he likes me and say he misses me but then say THIS......

[newstart1133]

Hi all,

I started a new job about 4 months ago and upon getting hired met an incredible guy. We were both instantly attracted to each other. I found out soon after he was in fact, my boss. Great. I know this is a big no no typically. To my shock I received a " work related " text message that week from him which ended up turning into a 4 hour back and forth about anything and everything.

For about two months we were in touch with each other outside of work, something slowly growing. We spent hours every single day getting to know each other. We openly admitted to each other that this felt like something worth pursuing. We have been incredibly open about out feelings with one another.It seems as though we cant get enough of each other.

As you can imagine a few people at work picked up on " something " going on. It turned into a bit of a headache for about a month because he was nervous about the potential of job loss. We are incredibly professional at work and there was no real reason for anyone to think something was happening so his superiors dont really think anything of it. He was open with me about how nerve wracking this was and I understood.

It's now been about 4 months. We have not seen each other outside of work at all and i've started looking for a new jobs. We kissed for the first time outside of our work the other day and have made plans for the following week. I was shocked that this happened because I know his career means a lot to him and that was a bit risky on his part. We have literally been in touch with each other in one way or another every single day since we met.

It is incredibly weird to say this is a " first date " . The whole timeline is off in my head. We know so much about each other at this point. Also because of the work/outside of work situation I have felt like a babbling fool in front of him at work. He has this presence that is incredibly intimidating and I am nervous as all hell because I have those butterflies in my stomach. I can't tell if this is endearing or if hes thinking at this point that i'm ridiculous.

Thoughts ?

[emmmz]

I am seeing a guy and I have been away for over 1 month now so we haven't seen each other for a while but he texts me a lot telling me he misses me and wishes to spend the day with me and stuff like that. I also showed him feelings back like I tell him I miss him also and I told him he makes me happy and he says he cant wait to see me. He also sometimes calls me babe and baby.
But then on Valentine's day he texted me and was saying he missed me and wanted to see me but he never mentioned anything about Valentine's day. And also on my b-day he said that when i get back we could do something for my bday and I said "yes it would be cool but you don't have to it's not like you're my bf" (I said this because I was curious what he would say) and he said "Yes I know but you know. That's what friends do" and then I replied back "Ya well not if i don't have a bf by then" (again I said this because I was curious if he is really serious about me or not) and all the he replied was "ok"

I am so confused right now. He basically just proved to me that he doesn't care If I see another guy but then why would he tell me he misses me and call me baby and say he is so excited to see me and everything?

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I am seeing a guy and I have been away for over 1 month now so we haven't seen each other for a while but he texts me a lot telling me he misses me and wishes to spend the day with me and stuff like that. I also showed him feelings back like I tell him I miss him also and I told him he makes me happy and he says he cant wait to see me. He also sometimes calls me babe and baby.
But then on Valentine's day he texted me and was saying he missed me and wanted to see me but he never mentioned anything about Valentine's day. And also on my b-day he said that when i get back we could do something for my bday and I said "yes it would be cool but you don't have to it's not like you're my bf" (I said this because I was curious what he would say) and he said "Yes I know but you know. That's what friends do" and then I replied back "Ya well not if i don't have a bf by then" (again I said this because I was curious if he is really serious about me or not) and all the he replied was "ok"

I am so confused right now. He basically just proved to me that he doesn't care If I see another guy but then why would he tell me he misses me and call me baby and say he is so excited to see me and everything?

Update to this post: after he said "ok" I was thinking that he was going to think I just said that to make him jealous which would only make everything worse so I said "oh I guess you didn't get it it was an inside joke" and he said "Haha -_- you got me" Which I think he kind of means like he's happy that I was just messing with him. So does this kind of change the situation or what do you think?

[RobertWQ]

Well he's interested in you at some level. To what extent, it is unclear. He's either playing it cool or he is interested but extremely so yet.

[basilandthyme]

Oh for f*ck's sake, why don't you just ask him how he feels instead of playing these stupid games with him?

[r321148]

Same advice as your last thread really. Stop playing!
Your "tests" were so unsubtle it's unreal and he probably sniffed them out a mile off....and decided he didn't want to play!
So what if he didn't mention anything about Valentines day? If he's anything like me he think it's all corporate b******s anyway and it doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean he doesn't care at all...he did text you saying he missed you and wanted to see you...what more do you want really?
He didn't "prove" to you he didn't care all he said was "ok"....translation..."I'm sick of your games when I offered to do something nice for you so do what you like!"
When he offered to do something for your birthday why did you react like that? Why do you need assurance all the time? Why always focus on the negatives and the things he didn't say rather than seeing the positives in what he did say? If he asked you to do something why not reply with "yes, that'd be nice thanks"? This guy is way more patient than I would be. I'd have cut ties with you ages ago (after your last pity party on previous thread). I hate games and tests and I don't know any guys who like them.

Really you have 2 choices:
1) chill the f**k out and just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you. (The preferred option if you can do it)
2) ask him straight out what he feels and where he sees it going. (may scare him off but at least you'll have an answer and can move on if necessary)

Sorry if that sounds harsh but you are destroying any chance of this working out. He may feel something or he may not but the more you keep trying to "test" him the more it'll push him away.

[Mattiemae]

Really just stop playing the games with the man. If he wasn't interested in you he wouldn't be texting you. Like someone once said, "Do you think I'm just being nice for the heck of it?" Men don't talk to and say those things if they don't like you. Most won't even waste their time. I wouldn't have exactly said in negative terms like r3 did, but they have some valid points. Honest and open communication is very important if you want him to stick around. Men do take off, if they feel you just want to play mind games. The confusion is created by you playing games with him, and than he doesn't know how to respond to you, because you're giving him mixed messages and confusing him by your actions and response to what he says and does. So in a sense if you don't want to be confused about how he feels, you need to stop confusing him about who you feel. You reap what you sew, or you get back what you put out there in better terms. So decide whether you want to play games, or have a relationship.

[Mattiemae]

Like I said on your other post! What you put out there, you get back in return! So if you want to play games and cause confusion you will get it right back

[bekho]

What a silly thing to do.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[smackie9]

The guy is a coward obviously and needs an alpha female to make the move. So it's looking like that is YOU, that needs to make a move. If you prefer a guy that has some balls don't waste your time with this dude.

[mollymari]

Could be he already has a g.f and is keeping you on stand by; not exactly what you had in mind no doubt. Could be wrong but sounds like it's a possibility.
I agree with smackie on this one; guys a coward. now it's up to you what you do with it.

[Nycnative]

Relax don't sweat it. If your about to graduate, enjoy your last few months with friends and family. Your young, you have your whole life in front of you. Welcome to the dating world. Women are going to come and go, just remember that each experience you have with one will always teach you a lesson, and make you wiser. This girl has taught you that patience is a virtue, and especially with women you cannot be too straight forward in the beginning. Play it cool, take your time getting to know them, and never seem to be needy or obsessed with having to have someone. Hope this advice helps