Need Yours Thoughts Please!

[mmaza291]

Hello guys,

Ok I'm going to try to make this story quick...

I've been with this girl for a while who i deeply care about. The problem is I was distant to her alot on the relationship. You ask why??? Because I was scared of being hurt so I was being very distant to her and wasn't all that caring towards her. In the beginning she was head over heels about me. I pushed her away and this past friday she broke up with me. I was so mad at myself for acting like a jerk to her.

I told her that I was so sorry and that I wasn't being my true self. I am honestlyu caring, loving, and loyal. For some reason this time my fears got the best of me.....

For the first time in our relationship I told her how much I cared why I did what I did and she said she didn't know if she could believe me. She said maybe if I told her sooner than it might of made a difference and she says she has lost feelings for me....

She is a hypocrite in what she says though. I think she is forcing these feelings on herself because she is scared of ebing hurt again if we work things out. I told her I had to delete her number out of my phone and delete her sn. She got upset and asked "what are you going to delete me out of your life now?" She then tells me she cares about me but doesn't have the same feelings?

She then calls me getting mad and upset about why I coudln't tell her sooner how i felt and why and what and how and I just kept explaining myself. She said she has alot going on in her head because of all the stuff I dumped on her about my feelings, etc. Her friends have also been up her ass about it most of them telling her how I just made a mistake and we should work things out. She said she just feels bombarded by everything and she just went on vacation with her fam and said she is going to use that to clear her head. She promised she will call me when her head is clear and she has a mde a decision about everything...

p.s. she said she has been losing sleep over everything and all she does is think about it every second of the day....

Well I'm not going to smother her and let her be for now until I hear from her.

This has been long and thanks for listening. Anyone have comments or advice??

I know I have to be strong and I am trying to be hopeful about everything... Thanks again

[TAVS]

Stop blaming yourself for what you did. Don't blame her for what you did. Let her know you want to be with her but that you realize you can't force her to do something she doesnt want. Tell her you'll be there if she decides to give it another chance and then leave her alone for a while. I bet she'll come around.

[shh!]

How old are you both? I am assuming you are young, but if not, I may have to amend my response. It will be a bit harsh, and I apologize in advance for being blunt.

You treated her badly, and you apologized AFTER she dumped you. Her "friends" actually think she ought to give you the chance to treat her badly again, so I'd say she needs new friends. You say you are a caring guy, but saying so doesn't make that true: your BEHAVIOR does. If she is a smart girl, she will not date you until you can demonstrate over some period of time (and I don't mean days or weeks) that you know how to behave properly. Becasue I assume you are young, I understand this is all a learning process for you, but you need to understand there are consquences for bad behavior. It will be hard for you to suffer this lesson, but it will help make you into a good, decent man. Good luck.

[mmaza291]

Thats what I did and where I am at right now. My heart tells me she will come around. I just need to give her time..... Thanks for the reply..

[mmaza291]

I didn't treat her badly. I just didn't show her the emotions she thought that I had for her. Like I was being distant... She wanted to be close to me and get to know me and wanted to be in a long term relationship with me. She thought I didn't care about her. Im sorry if I didnt portray my story correctly. Ive never treated a girl badly before in my life. I was just scared of getting too close and being hurt. I told her all of this btw....

[shh!]

Oh. My mistake. It must have been because of this bit you wrote: "I was so mad at myself for acting like a jerk to her." But in any case, withholding emotional connection was probably psychologically painful for her. I didn't think you were smacking her around, or anything like that...

[mmaza291]

Oh. My mistake. It must have been because of this bit you wrote: "I was so mad at myself for acting like a jerk to her." But in any case, withholding emotional connection was probably psychologically painful for her. I didn't think you were smacking her around, or anything like that...

Yeah I know it was painful for her and I did all I could to express myself to her (letters, flowers, etc.) I'm just hoping she sees the truth and comes around...

[Tone]

*yawn*



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[mmaza291]

*yawn*



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I appreciate the help lol...

[mmaza291]

How old are you both? I am assuming you are young, but if not, I may have to amend my response. It will be a bit harsh, and I apologize in advance for being blunt.

You treated her badly, and you apologized AFTER she dumped you. Her "friends" actually think she ought to give you the chance to treat her badly again, so I'd say she needs new friends. You say you are a caring guy, but saying so doesn't make that true: your BEHAVIOR does. If she is a smart girl, she will not date you until you can demonstrate over some period of time (and I don't mean days or weeks) that you know how to behave properly. Becasue I assume you are young, I understand this is all a learning process for you, but you need to understand there are consquences for bad behavior. It will be hard for you to suffer this lesson, but it will help make you into a good, decent man. Good luck.

I'm sorry I didn't see the "young" statement before. I am 22 years old, I'm sure that is young to many... I am actually really good friends with one of her friends and we have known each other for a while, so she kind of knows my personality and everything. That is why I believe that she is trying to give her the advice to work things out..