Strange position i m in at the moment .. Need advise

[arslan_sweeto1]

Hi Guys .. I am new here .
Lately i had been in relationship which is complicated how i would see this. Let me tell you detail so that u could advise me . Sorry it's long description i think . But i have tried to keep it concise.

To begin with, i met this girl on internet (i was 17 years old) who is my age mate. I liked her at first interaction. She was sober in conversation. Good chats continued. But i couldn't chat late at night due to studies and parents pressure. She knew it and didn't appreciate it. I never OWNED her. There was constraints of time, so i get it all messed up before maturing the relation (DISCLOSING MY INTENSE FEELINGS FOR HER). She backed off. I was true in my feelings for her. I knew i was wrong. I apologized her quite number of times. and it kinda broke up.
We had "Hello Hi" occasionally . THOSE WERE MY ATTEMPTS TO STAY IN TOUCH WITH HER AS I ALWAYS FELT MYSELF GUILTY FOR MESS UP.
Quite recently (23 years old i m), i am pursuing professional degree, i started chat with her one day . All these years i waited for good time to talk to her. (SO AND SO I TURNED DOWN ANY FRIENDSHIP INTENTIONS OF FELLOW COLLEAGUES) ..
She was quite fascinated to meet "NEW ME" .. all groomed up, Lively one .. she was quite attracted towards me .. But once again things went wrong. She tried to pass her cell number to me but i didn't accept it (she asked me to join her on whats app but i didn't had decent mobile to run whatsapp :S). Then we had little fight over some issue. and once again she is TAKING ME FOR GRANTED .. i apologized her for issue quite a number of times. but She was all GONE. like she don't bother about it. I DIDN'T HANDLE IT WELL I THINK . on the face of it she said that she is ok . but she is not more talking to me normally. and I M ALL STRESSED . I AM NOTHING TO HER ANYMORE. AND I WAITED FOR HER FOR 7-8 YEARS. I DON'T WANT TO MESS IT UP . .
Recently, I tried to overcome HER . but couldn't control it. HOW TO REVIVE THE RELATION . AND STOP HER TO TAKING ME FOR GRANTED. and to win her trust once again . should i give relation some space and time ? my personal life is badly effected by this ... I can't concentrate on anything i do .. studies, work and everything else .I ONCE AGAIN GET THE FEELING OF BEING GUILTY..

Questions:
1. what should i do to make her realize that i am true in my feelings for her .. i have never been in any relationship before with any other girl so im confused in it

2. Lately i have been helping her to find a job. sometimes it feels odd to me . On one hand, we are not talking normally n ignoring each other and on other hand, i am trying to help her out . She will think of me as i cant live without her n making a way to communicate to her.. isn't it
(i am straight forward person. I admit i lacked MALENESS as in i should not have turned down her offer of number. But i m true in my feelings for her. But im now ready to OWN her.)

[arslan_sweeto1]

Anyone ? :/

[LittleMadam]

Im sorry, but you dont and wont ever OWN anyone.

I really dont understand your predicament. Have you ever met this person?
How exactly is she taking you for granted?

It seems like she is giving you what you want, then you turn her down and then you get stressed out?

[arslan_sweeto1]

Don't be so harsh on me

This time when we started to chat .. we were having quite good chats .. she started to speak her out .. and was actively participating in the chats.
One day, she got call for interview. She got first ever call for any interview .. I was trying to guide her for interview .. but she was making fun out of it. For God's sake, it's your interview take it seriously. but she was not getting serious. I got annoy. Then later on, she realized that she was on mistake. She apologized 2 3 times. Then she got straight forward .. "I will not chat in funny mood with you again." and i am like c'mon girl .. i am trying to help you out . There are times to be serious and times to be funny.

From that time onward, she don't participate in chats actively. I am the one initiating the chat always. She mostly replies to my chat with " hmmm " and "ok"

You tell me this time i am not wrong . What i want for her to take Interview serious. What is wrong there
I , Lateron, apologized to her saying, " if i was wrong there, i got over, i apologize" . and i apologized repeatedly because i am not EGO guy .
and i apologized quite a times.

But she is not letting it go :/

[LittleMadam]

You are wrong, im afraid. I can see why she isnt actively engaging in conversation with you.
If you are getting annoyed at her for an interview that is for her, because she isnt being as serious about it as youd like???
She may have been handling it in her own way, and you got annoyed with her. Really, what right did you have to do this?

She tried telling you she didnt like the way you were about it and you dismissed it as you 'thought' you were trying to help her. Thinking she was in the wrong, when in fact you were.

I think you should just let her go

[arslan_sweeto1]

Sadly, yes that's what i thought afterwards .. i should not have got too much bothered about her interview .. After all, it's her life .. Let her handle it as she thinks better for herself. I should have allowed her space.
But no bad intentions were intended whatsoever .. The point that really bothers me about her is ..
Okay i made mistake .. but i had admitted it .. and apologized her for that . isn't that good enough . Mean okay . we all make mistakes . Fine way is that we apologize or make amends for our wrong-doings.
As far as your advise is concerned, I tried to let her go . but i couldn't resist . so it's out of question. simply
After all this, i would highly appreciate if you would advise me little about positive things to look towards in relationship. mean as i am not that experienced. What things i should adhere to positively prosper a relation.
I don't know the too much about ALGEBRA of dating and relationship but i know one thing simple and straight "when you get infection in finger, you get it treated rather than separating it from your hand."
Any feedback will be welcomed open heartily

[LittleMadam]

I would advise that you leave her be. Give her time to miss you and think of the relationship that you did have.
If you keep contacting her, then she is not getting that chance to miss you.
If anything, if she is not wanting to talk so much, then you contacting her will be pushing her away.

Use this time to concentrate on you, and you alone.
If she gets in touch with you then take things at her pace.
If not, well, hopefully you have concentrated enough on yourself to move on a little better, and easier.

- - - Updated - - -

Sometimes sorry isnt good enough. Especially if you found yourself saying it a lot to her.
It may just be falling on deaf ears.

[arslan_sweeto1]

Yes . That's what i have been thinking lately. That's Why i asked whether i should assist her in finding job even when we are not talking normally ..
I think little free time would be good for both for us.
But point of concern is she never initiates the chat. It's like she is trying to express as if i am always in need of chat to her and she don't even bother.
Yes. She is merely replying to the messages. i can feel that.
.
Yeah you are right. Saying "sorry" too much deters it worth.
.
How can i win her trust. and i mean it . this time no blunders.
But let me share one thing with you . fear of rejection and losing some one you care about makes you super cautious and you makes mistake even when not intended.

[LittleMadam]

I understand what you are saying.
It really seems as though she isnt as interested as you.
By stopping contact with her, you will then be able to see if she is in fact interested.

If she continues to never initiate conversation, then there is your answer

[arslan_sweeto1]

As far as interest of her is concerned, When we first started chat back in age of 18 . Soon I said "L" word to her. she respond positively neither negatively. as i said it too early. Now she has started chat is evident of the fact that she is Ok with it that we are chating and cracking jokes.
There is difference between that i initiate chat & she actively participates in it and that i initiate chat and she merely says hmm n ok ..
. as far as she actively participates, there is positive sign for relation i think.

i). What i feel lack of is consistency in relation. In start, i faced issue relating to what to talk about. But that's not issue anymore. I don't know how to maintain that charisma so that she is attracted towards chat and willing n waiting for me to chat to her.
ii). One aspect that she acted totally different to me after all these years is that she might be willing to play safe and may be looking to continue and turn it into serious future and long term relation . otherwise she would not have offered me her number. and i refusing to get it may felt to her like indirect refusal to involve her in my personal life. o my bad. what have i done

[arslan_sweeto1]

You Know what i am thinking ..
Let's get over it ..
Each time it's me who starts the chat.
Each time it's me who apologize for everything whether i am on mistake or her .
Each time i m there for her in the time of need but i finds no one around me when i am feeling down.

so yes may be she is not interested in me . or rather she does not deserve me.
or rather may be i deserve some one better than her.
i am free man . 8 9 years are more than more than enough to wait for her.

i made blunders. but the way you treat me , taking me for granted. i have had enough.
Peace