Friendzone or the possibility of something more?

[Wolfdroid]

Hi I'm in my early twenties and so is the guy I have a crush on. We met a few months ago at a chess club and he asked for my number the first time we met so he could teach me chess (I was a beginner back then). A week or so later he asked if he could over to my place to play. We chat fairly often, about once a week, and we've been meeting up nearly once a month outside of chess club since we're both quite busy as I'm at university and he has a job. At chess he usually comes over to me and he sometimes offers me a lift home at the end of the night. On the other hand he sometimes doesn't answer facebook messages for days/weeks and he's stood me up twice although he apologised for both.
I'm just wondering whether the above counts as normal friendly behaviour from a guy (he does seem to be friendly and outgoing) or whether there is a possibility of dating. If it's the latter what kind of flirting do men respond to? I'm a tomboy so the whole 'be girly and cute' thing isn't really going to work. Thanks in advance.

[searock]

Hmm the fact that he ignores your facebook messages for so long is not a good sign. If someone is interested, they generally can't wait to talk to the person they're interested in. Unless he's playing silly games, which I don't think he is, based on the other things you wrote.

Would you be comfortable asking him on a date? Something like "so I was thinking, how about you and I go to dinner on saturday? Like on an actual date? It's ok if I misinterpreted, I just thought it was worth a try :-)"

[smackie9]

I'm a tomboy and I can flirt, but it's more advanced than cutesy. Showing a strong interest when you are with him, like asking him if he has a GF or if he is seeing anyone. Strong eye contact, lots of smiles, touching, leaning in, ask questions about what where he likes to hang out, etc.

[Wakeup]

he's stood me up twice although he apologised for both.

Are you saying that he just didn't show up but apologized the next day or something or, did he call, cancel and apologize for having to cancel?

If he has your number, I'll assume you also have his so why would you email him on facebook and then wait for him to reply? Why not text or call him?

[searock]

Most cell phones have a facebook app, so messaging on facebook is the same as texting, only it happens via the internet.

[Wolfdroid]

Apologised afterwards, the reason I get naggy is because he didn't let me know in advance.

[searock]

That's really inconsiderate, and it happened twice! Were his reasons really serious - car accident or something - or did something else just come up and he forgot to tell you?

[Wolfdroid]

First time he didn't say why, the second time we were supposed to meet up at ten in the morning and he said he'd been out with friends until four the same morning. I agree that it's really inconsiderate but it's weird that he does this yet still drives over to my place (I'm currently relying on public transport and I don't know where he lives) to meet up, sometimes on the spur of the moment.

[Wakeup]

Most cell phones have a facebook app, so messaging on facebook is the same as texting, only it happens via the internet.

That's no excuse. Why isn't she texting him or calling him is what I want to know? Also: why he isn't texting or calling her? It's more direct and personal then what he's been doing (although you know my stance on getting to know someone via text... it's pfffft

Apologised afterwards, the reason I get naggy is because he didn't let me know in advance.

The guy is an inconsiderate assclown. If you haven't read the book "He's Just Not Into You" then I suggest you get yourself a copy and figure it out.

Hon... life is too short to be wasting your valuable dating years on flakes. Just stop chasing him and see if he cares enough to even see where you got to. In the meantime, don't stop exercising your other dating options. If you have none, then now would be a good time to work on that.

Men who want you, do not only talk to you via the internet (whether that "internet" be on laptop phone or desktop).

First time he didn't say why, the second time we were supposed to meet up at ten in the morning and he said he'd been out with friends until four the same morning. I agree that it's really inconsiderate but it's weird that he does this yet still drives over to my place (I'm currently relying on public transport and I don't know where he lives) to meet up, sometimes on the spur of the moment.

BTW: He sounds married or already in some sort of relationship. Red Flags in abundance here. Don't keep ignoring them.

Have you ever asked him if he's involved with another woman bf/gf/live-in? Next time he contacts you and wants to get together ask him to take you to his house. See if he backpedals, outright avoids that, makes excuses not to or just simply stands you up again. Never and I mean never see a guy again who stands you up like this douche did. You are better then hanging with assholes that don't even have the courtesy to tell you that they can't make it instead of leaving you high and dry. Doing what he did shows you that he lacks common courtesy... or he just couldn't be courteous because his other woman was with him.

[Mattiemae]

Sounds like the way my old guy friends were. lol We hung out and had fun, but they were never good at the small stuff like phone calls and messages. They were busy with other things outdoor activities, being social and enjoying life. I don't see he's really shown he's interested in you as a girlfriend by what you've written.