Booty Calling

[BeachBum]

Hi all, just a bit about me: I've been happily single for 2.5 years, and I intend to remain so in order to focus on my career and fulfil all my travel plans. Four nights ago I had a one nighter with an attractive random. Don't fret, it was safe (well, as safe as possible). He was quite amazing between the sheets, so I hope to booty call him regularly in the future. We did lightly discuss the possibility of such an arrangement afterwards, and he was quite keen on the idea. I took his number but didn't give him mine. I intend to just booty call him whenever I want while disabling my caller ID. Is that unbelievably selfish? It's just that I've had a shag buddy (NOT a friend with benefits) before who ended up annoying me with his messaging. I have absolutely no interest in getting to know him. The way I see it is that all I need to know is his name, number and address. I LOVE having sex, and I refuse to believe that I have to be a nun until I start dating or get into a relationship. Any pointers from those experienced in this area?

[searock]

If it works for the both of you, I see nothing wrong with it. Just make sure you always use protection, and make sure to always tell a friend when you are with him. That way, if he becomes violent or whatever (you need to be prepared, since you know nothing about him), there will be someone who knows where you are and with whom.

[basilandthyme]

So, he'd be kind of like a male escort who isn't getting paid?

Anyway, why would he service you on demand when you aren't willing to do the same for him? Sure, me may do it a couple of times, but I doubt he'd tolerate it longer than that.

[BeachBum]

So, he'd be kind of like a male escort who isn't getting paid?

Anyway, why would he service you on demand when you aren't willing to do the same for him? Sure, me may do it a couple of times, but I doubt he'd tolerate it longer than that.

Yeah pretty much! I do like my freebies.

[basilandthyme]

Well, most people get pissed off when used for freebies. At the very least, they like to have the same in return.

[BeachBum]

Well, most people get pissed off when used for freebies. At the very least, they like to have the same in return.

Hmm you're probably right. It may be too mean.

[searock]

Hey, if he isn't ok with it, he won't agree to it. Just make sure you tell him what you told us (i.e. that you want him ONLY for sex, that there will never be anything more, that you don't even want him to have your number). It's up to him to decide.

[KingZ]

It does kind of make you a bitch, yeah.

[Wakeup]

Hi all, just a bit about me: I've been happily single for 2.5 years, and I intend to remain so in order to focus on my career and fulfil all my travel plans. Four nights ago I had a one nighter with an attractive random. Don't fret, it was safe (well, as safe as possible). He was quite amazing between the sheets, so I hope to booty call him regularly in the future. We did lightly discuss the possibility of such an arrangement afterwards, and he was quite keen on the idea. I took his number but didn't give him mine. I intend to just booty call him whenever I want while disabling my caller ID. Is that unbelievably selfish? It's just that I've had a shag buddy (NOT a friend with benefits) before who ended up annoying me with his messaging. I have absolutely no interest in getting to know him. The way I see it is that all I need to know is his name, number and address. I LOVE having sex, and I refuse to believe that I have to be a nun until I start dating or get into a relationship. Any pointers from those experienced in this area?

Men do that to naïve women everyday. Go ahead and see how long he puts up with being your human dildo on demand. Should be interesting as well to see how long it lasts before he wants you number or how you handle it if he has enough options that he just laughs when you call.

Keep us updated.

[KingZ]

Hey, if he isn't ok with it, he won't agree to it.

Right. Nobody has ever agreed to casual sex despite having strong feelings, hoping they could fu​ck them into loving them.

[FlaCooln]

LOL, only using for sex doesn't always work. I had that sort of arrangment when I was in college (undergrade as a sophomore) and a woman (friend of a friend in grad school); i was 19 or 20 and she was 28. She initiated everything and specifically told me that "you are too young for me and this is ONLY for sex." Well after two months our mutual friend told me that the woman came over crying last night and told her that she didn't know what to do because she was "in love with me."

The woman/my sex buddy came over later that day and told me exactly how she felt and what she wanted. I was flattered and really wished I felt the same way, but I didn't. Sex was great, but personality wise she was not compatible with me and it would have never worked on my end.

Right. Nobody has ever agreed to casual sex despite having strong feelings, hoping they could fu​ck them into loving them.

^^^OMG...that is just an awesome statement right there. I can just see it..."I am gonna **** him/her/X into loving me." CLASSIC! LOL how come **** shows up for you, but mine is edited.

[searock]

Right. Nobody has ever agreed to casual sex despite having strong feelings, hoping they could fu​ck them into loving them.

Yeah but that's their problem... they're stupid/immature. Hopefully it will give them a chance to learn from their mistakes.

If the using person is aware that the used person hopes for something more and still chooses to go ahead and use him/her, then yes, the using person is an as*hole.

To clarify: this^^^ only works when both the persons involved are adult, and about the same age. If the "user" is much older than the "used", then I'm NOT ok with it.

[KingZ]

Yeah but that's their problem... they're stupid/immature.

Wrong. This isn't stupidity or immaturity. It's naïveté at best. Giving into your emotions is a common human error.

If the using person is aware that the used person hopes for something more and still chooses to go ahead and use him/her, then yes, the using person is an as*hole.

Wrong. It isn't reasonable to expect that they will be able to have sex regularly and frequently without one of them developing feelings for the other at some point in time. There are just too many variables here to make this OK.

To clarify: this^^^ only works when both the persons involved are adult, and about the same age. If the "user" is much older than the "used", then I'm NOT ok with it.

Wrong. Assuming they're both adults, whether they're both 30, or one of them is 30 and the other is 40, has no impact on the morality of the behavior.


Dunno how you're feeling, but the Throne of Right is pretty comfortable.

[searock]

This isn't stupidity or immaturity. It's naïveté at best. Giving into your emotions is a common human error.

I thought naïveté=immaturity, that's what I meant anyway. I still think it can also be stupidity, and yes it's a common human error.

It isn't reasonable to expect that they will be able to have sex regularly and frequently without one of them developing feelings for the other at some point in time. There are just too many variables here to make this OK.

Well, as long as the used don't actually have feelings for the user, then if it works for both of them, I don't see the problem. I still think the user isn't responsible for the used's poor decision making. Although if the user is aware that the used hopes for something more, then it does make them an as*hole (still not responsible, just kind of a bad person).

Assuming they're both adults, whether they're both 30, or one of them is 30 and the other is 40, has no impact on the morality of the behavior.

Not to my moral standards it doesn't. Well, I guess that if they're both over 40, then it makes no difference.

[Wakeup]

What's with all this "used" talk? If both people are fully aware and agreeable to the dynamic then NO one is being "used" they are volunteers but no "used" people.

As far as people catching feelings. Well, if they don't take responsibility for their own life, then they are also volunteers in that regard as well. Have the feeeeeelings convo and if one or the other doesn't agree, doesn't rediprocate those feeeeeelings, then it's time to stop the dynamic you both agreed to.