Boyfriend Trouble- How to get move forward.

[Lucy16]

Hey Everyone!
This is my first post and I am in a bit of a dilemma
My boyfriend as I have been together 4 years. We started dating in highschool and have been together ever since. We never had any type of serious break-up. Yes, we have had our share of ups and downs, but we never got to the point of wanting to break up. This past year we have gotten really close, he gave me a promise ring, we have gone on family trips, and we even started second jobs working together. We do not go out and party as much as normal 20 year olds do, but we do other things that we both enjoy. He would talk about our future together and how he would never leave me constantly.
So heres where the trouble began. In the month of December we were planning a trip with his family and he was very insistent on me going. Then shortly after he became very distant and did not want to see me as much. He would go out with his friends, drink, spend the weekends at colleges and finally broke it off with me over a text. He said he could not find one reason we should be together anymore. Needless to say, I was heartbroken. I was repetitive and tried everything I could to get him back, but nothing worked. So two weeks went by, we talked occasionally over texts, but it seemed very distant and not the same as before.
Soon after I was told by a friend he was seeing someone else. He spent the holidays together with her, while I stayed how crying over what I had lost. After I was fully aware of what was happening I did my own research through Facebook and Twitter and found out that the rumors were true. I questioned him about it and he said it was nothing, he cant help that girls like him and we weren't together so it doesn't matter. When New years came around he called me crying saying he wished he never broke up with me and he could never be with me because of what he had done. And he expressed how regretful he was. I still wanted to be with him so I continued to talk to him.
Soon after that he went on a trip and when he came home we wanted to see me, so we started to hang out. Well, although things were not the same and a bit awkward, I loved being with him and he expressed that he really missed me. So we hung out every day for a week. Than I later did some research and found out he was still seeing that same girl he spent the holidays with. I called him and he said she was crazy and obsessive and forced him into being with her and at the time he just wanted someone to talk to, to replace me not talking to him, and i replied with "i am not going to move onto being with you if you do not figure this out", he said he would take care of it, and I am trusting that he did.
After hanging out with him, I questioned him if he slept with anyone, and he said he slept with that girl once, drunkenly and regretted it immediately, but he justified it with trying to move on form me, because at the time he did not think we were going to get back together.
I have asked friends what I should do in this situation and they tell me to do what I think is right. But to be honest, I am not sure if I can ever get over the fact that he was with someone else, on top of even starting a relationship with someone. I love him, but I could never imagine doing something like that to him, so how could he ever do this to me?
Any advice would be great,
Thanks so much in advanced! I really need some help on how to get though all of this.

[basilandthyme]

You get through all of this by realising that you were just 16 when you started going out. Since that time, you both would have been doing a lot of growing and changing...and clearly this relationship wasn't suited to him anymore.

Honestly, he did nothing wrong by starting up a new relationship or by sleeping with her. He was single, didn't think you were getting back together and made the decision accordingly. No, you wouldn't do the same thing but you're not him.

Anyway, I think it's a mistake to get back with him. He ended things because it was no longer working for him...and he'd likely do it again if you do rekindle. Think of this as a fresh start. You've got your 20's infront of you as a blank canvas! I say you should go and have fun...and see what other type of men the world has to offer. I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.

[michelle23]

I think you should move on too. People who are meant to be dont break up. He likely dumped you for her, realized shes a crazy bitch and came crawling back. Your worth more than that and this is his loss.

If you get back with him then your basically just telling him he can do what he likes and youll still be there. That is the wrong message to give any guy. He will just dump you again and again the next time he feels like screwing someone else.. if you want his respect then tell him he made his bed so go f**king lie in it.

Theres billions of men out there. Dont waste your life on someone who doesnt value or respect you