dating a man more than twice my age. whats your opinion in these type of relationship

[Katrina26]

hi i am 21 and he is 48. We have both have our professional lives set for the future. He has 4 children 3 of them older than me. He has a 3 year old but he is not together with the mom. We had a conversation about the relationship and he said he likes me and respects me a lot but he doesnt want t be selfish by having me carrying all the luggage of his life and that he doesnt want me to get stocked with a man his age when i am just starting to live my life. I love spending time with him and we are both very attracted to each other. Do you think if we give the relationship a try it will work?

[vashti]

Do you think if we give the relationship a try it will work?

No.


...........

[searock]

I will add to what Vashti said with:

Ew.

[mollymari]

Wait ten years.

[rest77]

I love spending time with him and we are both very attracted to each other.

I mean how in the first place were you able to get attracted to a guy who is 27 years older than you? This guy could be your father.

Even If he was to be a single man, he is way too old for you. He had 4 grown up children, of which 3 of them are older than you. Then he had another 3 year old from another woman. I assume he is a nice guy for telling you this wouldn't work.

[surfhb2]

Any man that age who dates a girl your age has issues.

I mean I know you're young but does that make an excuse to ignore such a red flag?

[DonnaK]

Nope, don't think it will work out.

[Boisdevie]

Wierd. Yuk. A real loony idea.

[toknow]

People are scared of anything that's not the norm. They are cowards.

[basilandthyme]

You've got lots of responses of 'ew', but I'd rather look at it in a more practical sense.

For example, do you want kids? It may well be that by the time you're ready to start, he won't want any more. Or even if he does, his sperm won't be such good quality and you'll be at higher risk of having a child with a disability.

What about your career? When you're in your prime, he'll be thinking about retirement.

And most of all, of the women I know who'd married older men...the women outgrew the men intellectually. Thing is, for a 48yo man to be emotionally compatible with a 20yo girl, he must have a very young brain and approach to life. While this is attractive at your age, by the time you're 30, you will probably have outgrown him.

At any rate, if you want to give it a try - then do so. But don't marry him. Have a bit of fun with but keep the knowledge that it's unlikely to work out in the future.

[Wakeup]

He's already telling you that he doesn't want you in his life in any serious capacity but he's doing it in a round about way by telling you that he doesn't want YOU to be Tied down with someone like him. He'll do you though if you're dumb enough to go that route.

[FlaCooln]

Katrina,

You are only 21 and he is 48. That is a HUGE age gap to overcome. You have only began to live life as an adult. He has been through it, had kids, and then some. What future could you really have? It makes me think of the movie w/Adam Sandler called Big Daddy....and the line "Old Balls." Ask yourself this..."Could I take him home to meet my family?"

I think if you are both in the right mindset....having fun and enjoying each other (basically fun and sex) it could be ok for a little while. But, a real realationship...not a good idea IMHO. You maybe just a bit lonely, he gave you attention, and is attractive (for now)...but it is a bit creepy. I'm 32 and I don't think I could date a 21 year old woman, as I feel I am way too far removed from that mindset.

So, I would reevaluate your life, think about what you really want in a BF/partner, and clear your head. He is already showing signs of pulling away due to "his baggage" and you are way too young to take all that on. You need to be 21, live life, have fun, and love will find you.

[smackie9]

Daddy issues anyone?

[MandoulinaBrown]

I don't think this can ever work. because think about it .. ten years from now you will be his nurse, and you'll only be 30 years old! I suggest you don't get too attaached and leave it like a tender idea the way it is. it is illogical.

hope you all the best xoxox

[Wakeup]

ten years from now you will be his nurse,

10 years from now he's still be screwing young girls with daddy issues and she'll be screwed up even more after he leaves her after doing her until she's stale.

He's a player an she's a naïve hopeful without a clue how to read the red flags he's clearly shown her.

- - - Updated - - -

IF she carries through with this thing.