Is he in it for sex or does he really love me? please help :(

[MandoulinaBrown]

so here is the story ...

I am 19, he is 28 .. he is a famous Reggae singer from Algeria and I am from Jordan, google these countries if you don't know what or where they are! .. he had a concert here 3 months ago and i was volunteering there, this is how I met him. we didn't get the chance to spend much time together when he was here and NOTHING physical happened between us. just a couple of chats. but the attraction and chemistry between was incredible! ,, so .. he went back to his country and added me on facebook, we've been chatting and skyping almost everyday ever since. I think i can say that we are in a long distance relationship now. he tells me he loves me and I believe I love him too. in all honesty I love him too much!! it breaks my heart, but I also have my doubts a little ..

he is a busy guy, he is always with his band, they are working on their album and he only comes online after 12:00 AM , also, sometimes he ignores me and doesn't reply to my messages, and only talks to me when he likes to. and when we talk, we don't talk about anything serious, if he wants to say anything all he tells me is that he misses me and he wants to kiss me and cuddle with me and tells me how beautiful I am and how much he would like to be physically with me. i think it is sweet but it bothers me that this is the only thing we talk about. i broke up with him once because of this and I asked him not to talk to me again, he was really heartbroken and deactivated his facebook account for a week, after that he came back and talked to me, he apologized and was so sweet, he started asking me personal stuff and talking to me about good things, he really changed. gradually we got tender again and now we're back together. we've been good for a while and now he is starting to do it again, I don't know what to do .. I love him but I know I shouldn't get too attached concerning our situation. we haven't discussed us being in a relationship this is why I feel that he isn't committed, and he won't admit that he isn't committed. I see girls posting flirty comments on his posts and pictures on facebook, now I don't know if this is normal concerning he is a famous singer!!! I am just really confused .. he is the charming flirty type and I am afraid I am just one of the girls he picks up on his travels, he makes me feel different but I don't want to be fooled.

but it also makes me wonder .. why would he talk to me all the time and tell me he loves me if he really doesn't? I know he is not in it for sex, because he is not getting anything. we have never did sexting or skype sex, it is just pure love. he is the kind type also but I really don't know whether I am being paranoid or is he really playing with me like he does with many other girls. I see their comments all the time, they are hot girls who post hearts and kisses and tell him he is hot. I asked him about one girl once, and he told me that he had already deleted her comment because she is a slut and his friend was messing around with her .. I don't know ...

we are planning to meet in Lebanon this summer, he has a concert there and he asked me to come and see him. he said he'd pay for my ticket. does this sound like love to you? or does he just want to have sex with me? because we talked about that. we will have sex when we meet. what if he stops talking to me after i get back here? I don't know what to do .. I feel somewhat guilty for thinking like that about him he is a nice guy but I need a friendly advice.. what do you think? does he really love me? should I go to Lebanon? should I stop worrying and being too attached??

[Smila]

Sorry to derail, but Algerians sing Reggae???

[MandoulinaBrown]

you only read the first line :3 .. yes they do

[basilandthyme]

If he's focused on sex during your conversations, he will be focused on sex in real life.

[smackie9]

It's a no brainer ....he wants to get into your pants.

[MandoulinaBrown]

but why would he put all that effort into talking to me if he just wants to get into my pants?? if he really wants me just for sex he would have initiated skype sex or dirty texting. he never did :\

[basilandthyme]

It's not that much effort really. He only talks to you when it's late and he feels like doing it. There's no talk of a relationship.....and there are all the other girls he'd be meeting while on tour

[MandoulinaBrown]

@basilandthyme
he is not going too far on skype, he doesn't initiate anything sexual at all. he just tells me I am beautiful and how much he wants to be with me. we talked about having sex (when) we meet, and I am fine with that really, it is just that I am confused with all this :S

- - - Updated - - -

so I am just one of many other girls he is doing the same with ... I should probably talk to him about it ..

[basilandthyme]

The fact remains that he's not bothered to get to know you. He did it for a bit and then got bored and is back to simply flattery and talking about wanting to be with you physically.

Yes, you can talk to him about what he's doing with other girls. But he'll probably deny it. But do you really think this successful entertainer goes to bed alone each night?

[Wakeup]

You met him once three months ago and you've fallen in love with a man that sweet talks you and has done NOTHING in actions to deserve your love. Not only that, you "broke up with him" once in those three months yet he's NEVER asked you to be his girlfriend.

Read that back to yourself a few times and then come back and tell us why you would continue to waste your time on a band member who is stringing you along like you are phinnochio before he became a real boy.

Do yourself a favor and stop logging on and waiting for him everynight unil you're sick and tired and emotionally drained. Just go no contact for two weeks without talking to him so that you get back your logical thinking process instead of relying on your imagination and fantasy to rule you.

Check back in and let us know how much you allowed yourself to come to your senses...

... or not!

[smackie9]

Something your mother should have said to you: guys will do and say anything to get sex, even if it's a dance for 3 months over the internet. If you do decide to see him, keep your legs closed, and get to know him in person. If he doesn't like that idea, then you will know his true intentions. If he respects you, and is willing to wait, you may have a possible winner.

[MandoulinaBrown]

i know what i am going to do, I am going to ask him to come over to my country if he really wants to see me. I am not going to Lebanon and possibly make a fool of myself, but how can I tell him that without him noticing that I don't trust him ??? :S any advice??

[basilandthyme]

*face palm*

[MandoulinaBrown]

hahahaha what? O.o am I being stupid?? Xp

[smackie9]

You are already making a fool out of yourself.