My new life... Still need advice!

[ExhaustedSoul]

Hey everyone,
I had lived a terrible life in past months but I finally broke free and broke-up with my ex-fiance.

Here's the topic from the time I was in that relationship:
loveforum.net/threads/86380-I-Am-Torn-Apart-And-Depressed-Like-Hell

My ex still contacts me but I try to ignore her as much as possible.
I also started going out with my ex's sister, it's been 3 weeks, I have got much better, no more depression, hypersomnia and eating disorders. I am truly happy after a long time.

What is really bothering me is that I cannot define the nature of my relation with my SIL. She goes out with me a couple of times every week, we nearly see each other everyday. I even gave her a surprise gift on Valentine's day, she was shocked, thanked me a lot & got me a present the day after it. We hold hands, kiss occasionally and are quite happy together. She really cares about me, buys me gifts, pays attention to my feelings and totally make me feel the only one on earth!

The problem is, she seems to have serious doubts about the relationship. She does not reject me however I approach her but she won't admit having romantic feelings about me. She always avoids talking about it & once I confronted her, she said that it's hard for her to change her feelings as she has always thought of me as a brother! But who holds hands with a brother? Hugs & kisses and goes out with him everyday? or sometimes plans her future with him?

Sometimes I think she's afraid about the future, about her family finding out & my ex blaming her for our break-up but I am not sure if that's the only case and how can I make her feel ok about it...

I am confused, is it only her doubts or am I being friend-zoned? How can I avoid being friend-zoned? Do you think I have a chance to win her heart? I really feel she is the one, I have never been this happy in my whole life & she really makes me feel great! I could say the same thing about myself too but I am really worried to lose her!

I would really appreciate any kind of advice.

Thanks in advance!

[smackie9]

Man you are sticking your hand into a bee's nest there buddy. Ever hear the term "blood is thicker than water" ? She knows the repercussions of what she is doing, and since things ended sourly with your ex, it's only fair to say your are f'd for even considering the possibility of a future with this girl. I know you don't want to hear it but you are heading down a slippery slope with this one. I know it takes two to tango, but you are jeopardizing her relationship with her sister AND her family for your own happiness....you are being a damn fool.

She doesn't want to talk about it because she knows she can't commit, but is hoping for a solution when there isn't one. So you can be a dummy about it and just keep doing what you are doing until she stops calling you or you can deal with it like a man and just tell her how you feel and what you want from her. Man up! and get answers.

[ExhaustedSoul]

Ok! I get all that! I told her how I feel about her, she said that she cannot think like that for now but she cannot prevent what might happen in future, but she really likes the thing we have together!
The thing is we are both going to move to another state and things might get easier that way!
I ended my relationship with my ex on great terms & all her family were on my side...

[smackie9]

Well why are you here posting then?

[4 ratties]

sounds like shes known u for awhile so she just feels comfortable with you. or she realizes how inappropriate it is for u to date. I guarantee she drops u like a hot rock when she meets another guy she connects with. shes just using u for comfort.

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[basilandthyme]

You are sooo going to get burned.

[ExhaustedSoul]

Lots of wonderful insights!!!

[HeartIsAching]

in your near future.

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Man you are sticking your hand into a bee's nest

I LMAO at that! I've never heard that expression, but it's so apropos.

[ExhaustedSoul]

That's great! Lets just continue mocking cause that's why I posted here! Right?

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But really, did anyone of you even read my last thread?

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I put it there so you could read what was happening before the break-up!

[smackie9]

I think everyone feels that way because of her reaction to your Valentines gift.

IMO you have found yourself attatched to her because you are just trying to quickly fill the void of your ex. I had an ex admit he found someone that was just like me.....it creeped me out.

[CrasherRob8]

I'm willing to bet the SIL looks and acts a lot like your ex.

If you and your ex left on great terms, did you ask her if you could date her sister? If not then why?

[ExhaustedSoul]

Thats why I asked you to read my last topic!
No they are 100% different and have nothing in common!

[stevestone]

This is a really interesting topic

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I don't think anyone know the right answer

[smackie9]

I say leave her alone for now. If she wants a relationship I'm sure she will tell you. If you push the issue she will cut you off.

[stevestone]

Agree with smackie