How can I stay Happy Permanently?

[tanragagirl]

I have depression and PTSD because I was assaulted. I am seeking therapy and have improved. Before I would cut and attempt suicide every week but now I have stopped. I think most of this was due to my emotionally abusive boy friend whom I have drifted away from.
Due to these problems I took a year off college and now FINALLY got a job. Problemis sometimes I feel scared. Everyone my age will be graduating soon while I am stuck working a retail job paying off loans and not ready to go back to school. Getting out of my house and agreeing to work was a big decision for me. It was a huge improvement after months of staying home.

I just hope I don't become some loser wo is nothing in life. I know I am smart I am capable of much more. It is just I am not ready and there is so much pressure for me togo back to school. What if I go back to school and become so overwhelmed and regress?

I am just confused nd scared. Do I begin looking into schools now? My dad keeps saying if it is not now than it is never. ((

[basilandthyme]

Congratulations on getting rid of the abusive ex and for your work on recovery form PTSD.

Have you discussed this question with your therapist? If so, what does your therapist advise?

[tanragagirl]

honestly my therapist hasn't been of much help. Most of my recovery has been of a result of reading articles and posting on forums online. She just likes talking about the abusive ex because she once had an abusive ex so she likes to relate.

[basilandthyme]

Time to get a new therapist. It can take a while to get one who's the right fit.

My guess would be to work through your concerns. Make a plan for how to deal with things if it does all go pear shaped. Can you defer? Have you got family support? Can you do less hours over a longer time frame? You may well find that there's really nothing to be afraid of.

[tanragagirl]

Time to get a new therapist. It can take a while to get one who's the right fit.

My guess would be to work through your concerns. Make a plan for how to deal with things if it does all go pear shaped. Can you defer? Have you got family support? Can you do less hours over a longer time frame? You may well find that there's really nothing to be afraid of.

I agree but the only reason I have kept my therapist for so long is because she knows a lot about me.
I think I may be able to work less hours in the long run the primary reason I want to work more as of now is to keep my mind occupied rather than staying homw depressed all day or going back to my abusive ex.

What do you mean by making a plan if things go pear shaped? As in a plan for school or for work?

[basilandthyme]

I thought you were worried about of school, so that's what I was thinking when I wrote my advice. But truly, you could apply it to anything - school, love, work - whatever.

Knowing there's a workable plan B can give an enormous amount of mental peace.

[smithhiles]

For one to live happily we need a good life partner..This is very important.So,to choose a better life partner we have dating sites..So the people who are interested can participate and choose a best person for them..

[tanragagirl]

For one to live happily we need a good life partner..This is very important.So,to choose a better life partner we have dating sites..So the people who are interested can participate and choose a best person for them..

Umm no. I highly doubt that is true...

[basilandthyme]

I think a good partner can add something to your life if you're already happy. But it's dysfunctional to think that one can't be happy without a good partner.

- - - Updated - - -

Tanragagirl, I also wanted to point out that it's unrealistic to be Permanently Happy. Even the best of us have shitty days. Or decide to change jobs or leave relationships because they aren't working out for us. We have fights with friends or find ourselves suddenly having to find a new place to live.

Life isn't about not being sad or upset or angry. It's about having the resilience to come out the other side of what life throws at us a stronger and wiser person.

[stevestone]

work at it

[cookies27]

I think you need to focus on yourself right now, not on another man. You can't really love someone else or allow yourself to be loved until you love yourself- sounds cheesy, but it's true!

I agree that you should see a new therapist. If your therapist was helping you, you wouldn't doubt your therapy etc.

In regards to school, I think you really ought to wait until you get yourself feeling better, love. School can be a big undertaking and if you're not emotionally stable yet, you might fail, and adding failure on top of everything else you're feeling could be really hazardous to your mental well-being.

Take some time for you. Try meditation or going to the gym- yoga's really nice (I've just started this myself and it's been really helping me to relax and feel better). Enjoy your time alone and learn about you and what's important to you and what YOU need! Be a bit selfish and enjoy the process!

All the best of luck to you, keep us updated x