Am I unable to 'emotionally satisfy?'

[jaylynn]

I'm 22 and I didn't start dating until a few months ago, when I met this really great guy. Up until I met him I had this fear that no guy is going to be patient enough to date a 22 year old who has NO experience what so ever.
Since we've been together a few months now he and I have start moving forward in part of our relationship. I was really happy and excited with where we were going, and this past weekend, I gave him a blowjob. Which could be considered my first sexual experience ever. Since then he's been distant, and after confronting him about it he said he is afraid to be in a relationship because I don't know how to emotionally satisfy him.

What does that mean?
What do I do? I want to work things out and prove to him that I can, in fact, emotionally satisfy someone. And I can learn.

I don't know what to do.

[searock]

Um, it's kind of strange that he's been different only since after you gave him the blowjob. Have you asked him what he means by "unable to emotionally satisfy him"? It may simply mean that he isn't developing stronger feelings for you, even after becoming sexual with you. In this case, it has nothing to do with you, it just happens.

[pcmaster]

Maybe hes talking about love. Or maybe its not something you do but something that you are.

Well its your first relationship. Ofcourse you will learn a lot but it is also important to stay yourself to some degree and dont change at least one thing about yourself even if it's not good for you.
Now I dont know you but you cant that one guy be the measure of good you are.

This could give you some ideas
youtube.com/watch?v=HPNXzDY4nMo

I find it funny that you gave him blowjob but didnt ask for same or something else in return. You know just like you enjoyed giving guy can enjoy pleasing your wishes aswell. Even if thats your first relationship be more selfish and dont be afraid to risk cause there gona be mistakes anyway, but by being brave you can progress more in relationship.
Sometimes when guy say "I dont know" or "I dont want to" say "I know !" "I want to !" Like be decisive and take the lead from time to time. Cause guy should be wiling to be good for you just like you want to make positive impact on him. Thats the perfect relationship when two are meeting in the middle of the bridge. Also I believe person can only make as much impact in relationship as much she have confidence. Trust your instincs and go by the feel. Remember there are infinite amount of guys on this planet. That should help.

[dem862]

Maybe you used too much teeth.

[AnErin]

It means he got what he wanted and is moving on.
That is how men are, they are pricks.

Either that or he is a homosexual and would rather be with a man. How you can tell -
Does he have a limp wrist or a lisp? Has he ever commented on your outfits beyond saying they are sexy? I mean if he was like, "GURL those shoes are SO 2012!" then he might be. Does he drive a small car with pink accents? Or the WORST - does he listen to One Direction?" These are signs that your boyfriend wants to be with a man.
This may seem offensive but they are the facts.

It is not your fault. You held off doing any kind of sex which is good.

[searock]

It means he got what he wanted and is moving on.
That is how men are, they are pricks.

Either that or he is a homosexual and would rather be with a man. How you can tell -
Does he have a limp wrist or a lisp? Has he ever commented on your outfits beyond saying they are sexy? I mean if he was like, "GURL those shoes are SO 2012!" then he might be. Does he drive a small car with pink accents? Or the WORST - does he listen to One Direction?" These are signs that your boyfriend wants to be with a man.
This may seem offensive but they are the facts.

It is not your fault. You held off doing any kind of sex which is good.

Wow, it's amazing how much wrong can fit in one post.

[basilandthyme]

he said he is afraid to be in a relationship because I don't know how to emotionally satisfy him.

What does that mean?
What do I do? I want to work things out and prove to him that I can, in fact, emotionally satisfy someone. And I can learn.

I don't know what to do.

What on earth has happened to conversation skills in this world?

First, when someone isn't acting like you'd expect, you don't *confront* them. Instead, you nicely ask them about it with the view to better understanding the situation. Confronting a person is an aggressive act and not at all conducive to finding a solution.

When you don't understand what someone (anyone! boyfriend/friend/mother/boss etc etc) means, you ask them to clarify. If they feel there's something not right in a relationship, you ask how it can be made better.

Only he knows what he means. We can only take guesses.

[4 ratties]

how would we know? u need to ask him to get the answer. but if I had to guess I would say he didnt feel that emotional connection with you that he was looking for. move onward. totally normal and healthy for your first bf to not work out. its all a learning experience. I didnt have my first bf til I was 21 nothing wrong with that

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[bekho]

I met a virgin a few years ago who liked my friend. After a short while and a hand job later, he realised that he couldn't mess around too much with this girl cos he knew he wasn't looking for anything too serious. He didn't want to hurt her too much in the long run so he ended it before it began.

Being a relationship or sexual virgin can be a turn on, or a turn off.

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[bekho]

Sometimes the burden of dating a virgin can be overbearing, especially if he's worried how you will be.

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[jaylynn]

Hey everyone!
Just wanted to say thank you for all the advice and input, you all made me think and some made me laugh, which is exactly what I needed. He and I ended up breaking up for various reasons. We had a long conversation and I have no hard feelings towards him! He is in a really bad place right now and doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. He said 'if I can't make myself happy then how can I make anyone else happy? Obviously I'm making you really unhappy right now.'
I respect him and I'm grateful to him and I hope that one day he and I can be friends, or something like that.
Thanks for all the help!!

[basilandthyme]

Good to hear that you've moved on. But forget the friends thing. Exes need to be left in the past.