My best friend

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Blue, you are one dumb bitch.

[mollymari]

wow. yikes. REverse the situation Blue and ask yourself how would you be feeling if your man was messaging some girl who says she's be in there like a bee to honey if his wife was outta the picture.

Doesn't matter if this guy is a friend to you. ONce he made the play that he'd like to be more, it's your duty to cut him off and question why your there in the first place.
sorry you lost a friend but I'll implore you to realize this guy's actions were not so friendly but he did bow out, give him that.
you say you cut him off finally? good. lessons learned right?
take your husband out for dinner and re ignite the light.

[blue102]

Why are trolls not banned on this forum?

Anyway my husband knows I talk to this guy and he doesn't mind. Have I mentioned that we are *only friends* and I don't want an affair?

And actually.... I did on on a date with hubby. It was fun, but there is another issue here. I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore. I can't help it, it's just the way it is. We have a lovely house and two kids, and I don't work-- so I can't divorce him. I guess I'm just doomed to live in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. I feel like my friendship with this guy filled a void and is pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things.

[smackie9]

Guys don't talk to women they have no interest in f ucking period. I bet money on it if you offered they would accept. You are filling in an emotional need with these guys on line, and THAT IS CHEATING.

Anyways there is this thing called alimony and child support. You can easily stick it to your husband in court. OR since you have np getting attention from men on the internet, you could probably convince one of these poor shleps to take you in, like buddy who said he would marry you in a second. Something to think about.

[mollymari]

Why are trolls not banned on this forum?

Anyway my husband knows I talk to this guy and he doesn't mind. Have I mentioned that we are *only friends* and I don't want an affair?

And actually.... I did on on a date with hubby. It was fun, but there is another issue here. I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore. I can't help it, it's just the way it is. We have a lovely house and two kids, and I don't work-- so I can't divorce him. I guess I'm just doomed to live in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. I feel like my friendship with this guy filled a void and is pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things.

Well that 'void' you speak of is a fate none of us wish for and it does rather suck your enduring it. I'm sure you'll figure it all out and when you do, let the rest of the World know. Oh yes, btw, what the heck is a troll? Curious.

[Wakeup]

Sorry to bump this but I have an update.

I have been working on my relationship with my husband and it's wonderful. Decided to write off the online guy.

However, I got a little tipsy the other night and talked to him on AIM. I told him a bunch of stupid stuff like "I like you a lot" and "I miss you" and asked him why he quit talking to me.

He said he likes me too, and misses me, and he quit talking to me because he was depressed, but he's better now.

Asked him if it really was because I was married, and he said "maybe a bit". Asked him if he was upset that he couldn't visit, and he said "no no, I probably wouldn't have visited anyway". He told me to text him if I ever want to chat, and he'd get online.

I told him that some older guy was messaging me and he got pretty upset about that.

Then the next day I sent him a text saying sorry for the awkward conversation, it was the booze. He said "It's cool."

So: I will not initiate conversation any more with him. I feel like I said what I had to say, got it off my chest, and have closure.

I'm not sad about it, but a little embarrassed about the drunken episode.

So obviously you've not yet gotten some therapy to help you find out why you need attention from men online. Regarding one of your previous posts:

OK so thanks to you people's wonderful advice, I have decided not to talk to him anymore.

I do think my marriage is missing something because this friend was so important to me. Think I will get a therapist and work on it.

Thanks

What is your husband doing that he's toooooo busy to keep you emotionally fulfilled and from not needing to get attention from other men? Or is he just doing everything and you're issued to the point that what he gives you will NEVER be enough???

Its so much easier to blame "not being in love" anymore with your husband then to actually get the professional help you need to figure out why you THINK you are no longer in love with him. Perhaps if you stop emotionally cheating on him, you'd find that you really do love him but the other men have been blockin gyou from seeing the forest for the trees.

Time to grow up and fix this rather then cause it... because you are the cause of your own discontent.

[blue102]

Guys don't talk to women they have no interest in f ucking period. I bet money on it if you offered they would accept. You are filling in an emotional need with these guys on line, and THAT IS CHEATING.

So girls can't have guy friends at all? Because guys only want to sleep with you? I doubt that.

This guy and I started out as friends because we both suffer from depression and we got along really well.

So obviously you've not yet gotten some therapy to help you find out why you need attention from men online. Regarding one of your previous posts: .

The therapist I'm seeing is for my depression. I've talked about this with him a little, but not at length.

I'm seeing him tomorrow in fact, so I'll bring up the subject again.

I don't know what to say. I mean, I know I'm cheating on my husband (in a way) but what do I do? Just live my life lonely and depressed forever?

We started out just as friends, and I developed feelings for him-- it just happened that way. I wouldn't leave my husband for him but I can't deny the emotions. We probably won't talk anymore anyway so it's not a big deal.

[smackie9]

So girls can't have guy friends at all? Because guys only want to sleep with you? I doubt that.

.

A lot of guys that suffer from anxiety, shyness, insecurity, lack confidence etc often are more emotional and find it easier to latch on as friends first eventually taking it to a romantic level (well they hope it does). They use friendship as a tool to get their foot in the door. The motivation for these types of guys isn't sexually based at all. For the average/ confident guy yes, motivation is sexual. They won't always act on it but they will think about it at least.


As for keeping your distance...that is the best thing to do. Having emotions happens to everyone, but if you can identify it as just a crush and let it pass you are doing fine. You found yourself in this position for a reason....go try to fix whatever is being neglected in your marriage.