I'm feeling like I don't want to even try anymore, and it's scaring me!

[DepressedSad]

I have been in the process of getting over my ex since last year. At this point I couldn't go back to him even if I wanted to, I'm that disgusted by him.

I realize now the colossal mistakes I've made getting involved with the last two guys I have. I loved both and it consumed my life, but both were just abusive, jerks, and I got nothing for it but pain and deeper depression and anxiety than I already have.

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm lonely and feeling hopeless. I don't even want to try and find someone new right now, and even if I did I believe nothing good will come of it anyway. But I am not happy with the conclusion I should just resign to being alone for the rest of my life either.

I simply want to not think of my last ex anymore at all! Not even about the anger I feel, but I do t know how I'll get over him if I don't have someone new!

I've become so upset with all this, I'm having panic attacks all the time now!

Not sure what I should do and need some advice!

[Kromat83]

I think you need to reconnect with old friends, try new hobbies and forget dating for a while, until you are happy with the person that you are.

Maybe stop getting into a relationship, and enjoy the dating scene getting to know them first.

This is just one bump in the road, you can overcome any obstacle with the right mindset.

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I think you need to reconnect with old friends, try new hobbies and forget dating for a while, until you are happy with the person that you are.

Maybe stop getting into a relationship, and enjoy the dating scene getting to know them first.

This is just one bump in the road, you can overcome any obstacle with the right mindset.

[smackie9]

These relationships failed because you were too dependent on them when you should have had your own friends to hang out with and not spend so much time with them. This is why these guys turned into jerks because they felt smothered and pushed you away or it seemed that way to you when they only wanted some "me" time to hang out and do their own thing. You feel empty because you feel you need a guy to give you a life when you should be more independent. PC is right, you need to feel the void with getting back with old friends, and have a vibrant social life to stop the feeling of loneliness.

[haxan]

You probably just can't pick a good man for shit. You should know if someone has abusive qualities right off the bat. People don't just 'turn' abusive. Think of 5 things you want in a partner and prioritize them, then find a man who has those attributes. In the meantime you probably do need a rebound relationship (everyone does). Pick someone to have FUN with for your rebound.

[pcmaster]

What are you doing do cope with fear when you on your own? What makes you happy? What you think would make you stronger? What you did with your life before met bad guys?

[moneyspills]

I have been in the process of getting over my ex since last year. At this point I couldn't go back to him even if I wanted to, I'm that disgusted by him.

I realize now the colossal mistakes I've made getting involved with the last two guys I have. I loved both and it consumed my life, but both were just abusive, jerks, and I got nothing for it but pain and deeper depression and anxiety than I already have.

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm lonely and feeling hopeless. I don't even want to try and find someone new right now, and even if I did I believe nothing good will come of it anyway. But I am not happy with the conclusion I should just resign to being alone for the rest of my life either.

I simply want to not think of my last ex anymore at all! Not even about the anger I feel, but I do t know how I'll get over him if I don't have someone new!

I've become so upset with all this, I'm having panic attacks all the time now!

Not sure what I should do and need some advice!

You need to forgive to be able to move on with your life

[MrKnobby]

What should you do now? Read

Find some good quality books on relationships and learn to identify abusive men off the bat. This way you'll never get into something like this again.

This will help reassure yourself, build your confidence and equip you with all that knowledge to start dating again and move on....quickly.

I know that some women do find aggression in men attractive. No man of quality ever behaves in an aggressive manner towards a women. If you like the abuse then you need to read up on ways to control the man who is abusive towards you so get it at acceptable levels.

If I were you, I would honestly consider ditching the jerks, its clear you are upset, you should take this as a lesson that these type of men are not for you, even though you feel an attraction to them. Try someone nice for a change, it wouldn't hurt and you might even like it!

[smackie9]

Guys can turn abusive (not wife beater) to a certain degree if the drama queen GF keeps pushing their buttons. We are only getting one side of the story from a stranger, especially when there are no specific details. I'm not saying the poster is full of it, but when emotions are high, and self esteem is low, we are only getting that.....the raw feelings. I feel you can't just go by what they tell you, because so many do not reveal certain details for they know it will sway the opinions of others in a different direction. It happens a lot on these boards.

On another note everyone here has given healthy and helpful advice, lets hope the OP can pull themselves out of this horrible cycle.

[DepressedSad]

"Guys can turn abusive (not wife beater) to a certain degree if the drama queen GF keeps pushing their button"

Oh, you are justifying someone who is abusive? Giving them excuses by calling me a "drama queen"? There are NO excuses when it comes to abuse. I simply wanted him to be honest with me, he couldn't do that, so I was done with him. but he continued to want to have control over me, and abuse me, which is not okay.

[smackie9]

No I am not justifying their behavior, I just trying to explain that not everyone is a victim like they claim to be. Some women and girls will go out of their way to create the abuse because they can't live without the drama or their emotions are out of control because they fear abandonment.

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I'm not unfamiliar to abusive relationships. I was in one and that is all it took to never have it repeat again.

[Nora4]

You probably just can't pick a good man for shit. You should know if someone has abusive qualities right off the bat. People don't just 'turn' abusive. Think of 5 things you want in a partner and prioritize them, then find a man who has those attributes. In the meantime you probably do need a rebound relationship (everyone does). Pick someone to have FUN with for your rebound.

haxan you are a silly person. Fair enough people don't just turn abusive but they do hide their abuse. By pretending to be nice, make you fall for them and then show their true colours..If crazy people were so 'easy' to spot well then they would be alone!

As for your problem I think you need time alone out of a relationship. Have fun, fool about enjoy yourself.

We don't always need a partner to have fun or to be happy. Make yourself happy again before you need to worry about someone elses happiness