Trying to be a hero didn't work out..

[SoTired]

Hello

This issue became a heavy burden on me, and I honestly believe I'll end up either insane or with a permanent psychological scar.
I met a very interesting girl in my college, actually she was so interesting she took over all my senses.

I get happy just from seeing her, she's the most amazing thing ever happened to life..she's so beautiful & so smart, and she casted her spell over me. But it was a one sided love..
After a year of mutual studying, I finally confronted her.. i told her that i love her, and that I care for her, she told me that everything will be the same ( i.e she doesn't have feelings for me).
I let it go, but I couldn't get over her.. then, one guy trash talked her -cursed her- behind her back, it was only me & him.. I fought with him.

Later on, she knew of the problem, but I don't know if she knew the reason behind it. She told me quit & started to defend the guy, I simply said to her : "this guy who you defend, just trashed talked you with the filthiest words & I fought him over that".
She called me a retard & stopped talking to me & him..

Please advice me over this..I don't know what to do. I can't let go of her & it's torturing me. I don't regret defending her, but why didn't she see it that way ? why did she put me in the same place as the harasser ??

i'm ready to hear anything..
thank you for reading.

[basilandthyme]

He may be trash talking....but you showed yourself to be a thug. I can't imagine many girls are impressed by a display of violence.

[smackie9]

She is just looking at you as being out of control with your feelings for her and now she is done with that.

[SoTired]

He may be trash talking....but you showed yourself to be a thug. I can't imagine many girls are impressed by a display of violence.

After a second guess, you do have a point, but not to the level of me being a thug ! I'm sure a faithful person will defend those he/she loves !!! I don't think thugs act like that :/ . I know deep inside I won't hurt somebody I love, but from her perspective I can't be trusted..and she has the total right to think like that.

PMsmackie9
She is just looking at you as being out of control with your feelings for her and now she is done with that.

I'm out of control with my feelings towards her to be honest. But I think I can fix that. I always try to be optimistic but do you think I don't have chance ? :/

[TheEvilJester]

She made it clear that she is only interested in you as a friend. So, that is not likely to change. I know that isn't what you were hoping to hear, but it is unfortunately most likely the truth. If you can't see being with her as just friends, then you need to distance yourself. It isn't fair to you, and it isn't fair to her. But, seeing her as just friends means you also move on and continue to look for your true love in somebody else. If remaining just friends with her is going to keep you from doing that, then it is best to move on and keep her at a distance.

As for your incident, I definitely get that you had the best intentions in mind. You were just defending her. When it comes right down to it, though, the guy was just talking trash. Heck, she wasn't even there to hear it. So, defending her was okay, defending her by attacking him was not. If you tried to tell the guy to shut up and he wouldn't listen, then it was best to just walk away from the situation. Talk is just talk. He wasn't worth the hassle.

If she had been present, and in physical danger, that would be a whole different story. But, really it was just a guy talking crap. You should have just told the guy to shut the Hell up, then let it be. Either way, though, good luck. I hope you do find the person you are meant to be with some day.

[SoTired]

She made it clear that she is only interested in you as a friend. So, that is not likely to change. I know that isn't what you were hoping to hear, but it is unfortunately most likely the truth. If you can't see being with her as just friends, then you need to distance yourself. It isn't fair to you, and it isn't fair to her. But, seeing her as just friends means you also move on and continue to look for your true love in somebody else. If remaining just friends with her is going to keep you from doing that, then it is best to move on and keep her at a distance.

As for your incident, I definitely get that you had the best intentions in mind. You were just defending her. When it comes right down to it, though, the guy was just talking trash. Heck, she wasn't even there to hear it. So, defending her was okay, defending her by attacking him was not. If you tried to tell the guy to shut up and he wouldn't listen, then it was best to just walk away from the situation. Talk is just talk. He wasn't worth the hassle.

If she had been present, and in physical danger, that would be a whole different story. But, really it was just a guy talking crap. You should have just told the guy to shut the Hell up, then let it be. Either way, though, good luck. I hope you do find the person you are meant to be with some day.

I forgot to thank you for your comment : ) I stayed away from her but I'm facing harsh time trying to get over her, but I'm sure I'll manage to do so. The idea of blocking her from my facebook & whatsapp are very appealing to me now ; which I think of as a good sign..I'm getting over her. I'm also avoiding her in college without a second guess.

One thing I regret the most is that the guy wasn't even worth it. Eventually the problem fell on my head.
Thank you so much for your comment.

[hoxtonchris]

firstly may i say how differently you guys behave in america compared to us english,we rather admire a man who defends a girls honour by thumping the guilty one!now regards to the girl defending the baddy ,i had the same thing happen to me.a woman i know was sexualy harrassed by a younger sex pest,but he actualy awoke dormant physical feelings in her.he was actualy an evil sex pest,i built a portfolio of evidence against him,she was chuffed that i had managed to do it so well.but,,,when it came to me useing the evidence to get him the sack from his job as an estate agent,she rounded on me and defended him.at the end of it all he had aroused and rewoke something and that was all she cared about.by the way she is no silly young girl,she is a pensioner!and this guy was 45!

[surfhb2]

Way to go on acting like a 10 year old!

[hoxtonchris]

pardon surfhb2????

[TheEvilJester]

It can be hard to realize when you are still so hung up on somebody, but you will get over her. Trust me, I know just how you feel. When I crush, I crush hard. It can be hard moving on, even when it turns out that maybe it just is not possible. But, in time you will move on. Even better, in time, you will find somebody else and forget all about her. Good luck, my friend! I hope that day comes soon. :-)

[Starnique]

That's what happens when u try to be captain save a ho. It never works out for ya. Move on.

[dickriculous]

I don't regret defending her, but why didn't she see it that way ? why did she put me in the same place as the harasser ??

Can you connect the dots?

[smackie9]

Standing up to someone in a mature calm manner is more honorable than an out of control retard that uses violence.

[suddenlynothing]

Nah kick the shit out of him, who gives a ****.

[hoxtonchris]

yep fellow brit we got it sussed.