Would you want to know?

[lovesaidno]

I am just getting out of a situation where I was " the other woman " . My question to you is if you were in a relationship with someone and they were cheating on you, would you be appreciative or at the very least want to know about it from the person they were cheating with?? The thing is, " my guy" wasn't too careful about keeping details of his girlfriend secret. I won't go into all of the details I know about her, but lets just say I could talk to her very easily. Part of me wants to say okay this happened, oh well, move on and let it go. However, the other half of me ( which is also being influenced by friends ) wants her to know... I begged him to come clean with her multiple times, he said he would and he hasn't. I don't want to tell her to hurt her or rub it in her face, I want to tell so that he is no longer able to play her because I know she does a lot for him, and she is probably a really nice girl and doesn't deserve to be treated the way he is treating her. Also, I want him to feel some of the hurt and embarrassment he has caused me to feel. I feel like I have a responsibility to tell her... BUT I don't want it to turn into a situation where she thinks I am just some crazy girl who is jealous and thinks I am lying.

[michelle23]

Send an anonymous letter or FB message and try to include proof like a birth mark on his body or tatoo.. and let her know how long it went on for. He was probably acting weird during that time so it will click with her and make sense.

Yes I think she has a right to know but seeing you will just hurt her more.

Your an asshole by the way and so is he

[amandabrooke]

I know this will probably be the unpopular opinion, but I think you should tell her. My ex cheated on me with a girl who found out about me and sent me a Facebook message about it. I had seen her name come up on his phone so I believed everything. Even though I was extremely angry in the moment, both at her and him, looking back I'm very grateful to this girl for letting me know so I could end the relationship.

So, just prepare yourself for anger and probable disbelief from her. Yeah, you did fck up by sleeping with this guy, so please tell her in the nicest way possible. A simple message with some sort of proof, like Michelle said, should work. Even if she doesn't believe you and thinks you are crazy, this should plant some suspicion. Chances are he's not covering his behavior very well.

[bekho]

Hmm

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[bekho]

It's not your cross to bear. It's not your fight to expose him. Being a responsible person means that you knew what you were entering of your own volition. ****ing with other people will never make you feel better.

Just accept that in this tango everybody gets hurt. Believe it or not, the guy gets hurt the most. Because he knows that he'll lose everything in the end because of his weakness.

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[bekho]

Don't expose him. There is such thing as too much truth in a relationship. Let him come clean or continue lying himself. It's up to them.

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[the_last_jedi]

If you were a friend of her and you would have learnt about the infidelity by chance...... Yes, you should talk to your friend about it.

But in this case, where you are an accomplice of the infidelity........ I think that she will feel deeply humiliated if she learns about it by means of the 'another' woman.

First of all, she won't want to believe you. And subsequently, she will start to have doubts and to feel really humiliated.

Right now, you feel hurt because the guy was playing with both of you and in the end he didn't left his girlfriend. But in this case, you are the least appropiate person to talk to her, if you are really thinking about her and not only about taking revenge on him.

[Starnique]

Its not your place to tell her. I've been in your position, I've been cheated on and I've done the cheating. You are not doing this to help her. You are doing this to get back at him and now you want to rat him out because he doesn't want to leave her to be with you.

If you really want to help, stop being the side ho and go find your own man, if you can. If a man is gonna cheat, then he's gonna. You should have enough self respect to not let it be you who he is cheating with. So imo, yes I would want to know. However, there is a nothing a side ho who is ****ing my man knowing he has a girlfriend, could say to me that I would receive or be appreciative about. You would to need to better keep your distance. I'm just saying.

You not even fooling me. I know exactly your motives. You need to just stfu, let him go, get over it, stop being a side ho (if you must be the side ho, play your part, stay in your lane and again stfu) and move on with your life.

You're welcome.

[woody]

I can see Stars' point of view but I'll have to disagree. I'd want to know. I'd want to know that I put all my eggs in a basket that has legs and finds other hens to lay with. It would sting like a son of a but at the end of the day, if she/he approached it compassionately, I'd house appreciation after I was done licking my wounds so to speak.
I think you should tell her she's with a dinkypoo

[searock]

I'd want to know. Be prepared to be called names and to not be believed, that's a risk of course. But at least you'll plant the seed of doubt.

[michelle23]

Ive been cheated on and was so grateful to the person who told me the truth. Shel hate your guts coz your the dog he lay down with and you didnt care about her feelings then but im sure shel appreciate not catching fleas off the turd when shes well away from him.

She has a right to know before she marries the asshole or gets pregnant. But maybe your not the best person to tell her which is why I said do it anonymously.

[chinagirl]

Honesty is always the best policy. Tell her, leave the guy and move on with your life, and if the other girl is smart enough, she will do the same (leave him and move on with her life without him).

[surfhb2]

Omg! Stay out of it!

It's called maturity and owning what you fvcked up for yourself ONLY

[vashti]

You've caused enough trouble. Do not attempt to get even with him by hurting HER any further.

[lovesaidno]

I love how the majority of you all think that I'm the asshole/terrible person for allowing this to happen. Maybe I didn't explain it clearly enough, I never slept with him. I refused to because I had a suspicion of this other girl. He approached me in October and we've been seeing each other since. He insisted he was not seeing anyone. It was only at the beginning of March that it was confirmed for me ( by someone close to him ) that he does have a girlfriend. He continued to deny that he had a girlfriend and said she was just a friend. Continuing on through March he admitted to more and more things day by day. Not on his own free will of course, I had to force things out of him. As soon as he admitted this I stopped talking to him because I was very clear from day one that if he has anyone else in mind, is seeing someone, etc etc than I am not interested at all. I didn't **** up anything for myself thank you very much and I also don't believe that I am the one who has caused problems.

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Its not your place to tell her. I've been in your position, I've been cheated on and I've done the cheating. You are not doing this to help her. You are doing this to get back at him and now you want to rat him out because he doesn't want to leave her to be with you.

If you really want to help, stop being the side ho and go find your own man, if you can. If a man is gonna cheat, then he's gonna. You should have enough self respect to not let it be you who he is cheating with. So imo, yes I would want to know. However, there is a nothing a side ho who is ****ing my man knowing he has a girlfriend, could say to me that I would receive or be appreciative about. You would to need to better keep your distance. I'm just saying.

You not even fooling me. I know exactly your motives. You need to just stfu, let him go, get over it, stop being a side ho (if you must be the side ho, play your part, stay in your lane and again stfu) and move on with your life.

You're welcome.

Wow you are literally the rudest person I have ever come into contact with in my life ( online or in real life ). Perhaps it is you who has more issues than I if you feel so strongly about a situation you know nothing about.

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And as far as I am jealous because he won't leave me for his girlfriend, this couldn't be further from the truth. I cut off contact with him when it was confirmed he had a girlfriend, but thank you.