My Boyfriend's Family Ruining Our Relationship

[anc91]

It seems like my boyfriend's brother and his sister in law are tearing me and his relationship apart. Everytime me and my boyfriend get into an argument, it always deals with the topic of his brother and sister in law. I recently moved out from there, because they both started acting shady towards me and I was not comfortable. The other reason was because I wanted my own place anyways. SO the other night me and him get into an argument and he says "you have a problem with my sister in law and the boys (her kids) dont you? Just admit it" of course im not going to say I have a problem with her when she was the one throwing shade towards me (read my other posts, long story). He's been trying to figure out why I moved out into my own place (he still lives with his brother helping them with rent). Whenever I was living with them, my boyfriend would ask me for amounts of money. Because whatever rent money he couldnt come up with, I helped. But no more of that, it was stressing me out. I felt that his brother and sis in law were using him and still are. Anyways, he says its odd that I dont have any issues talking to his aunts and uncles, but dont talk to his bro and sis "as much." His whole family is divided (aunts/uncles) and no one visits his brother/sis in law because I think something happened between all of them. But I am not trying to get caught in the middle of that. I am just tired of him assuring me that I need to get in good with his bro and sis in law when i tried and clearly it did not work. We are just DATING not even MARRIED. I'm trying to enjoy the dating aspect but his brother and sis in law are somehow the focal point. What should I do??

[michelle23]

He sounds just as bad as they are. They have caused the issues but he blames you.. why are you still with him?

[lovesaidno]

I think it was a good choice on your part to not live there anymore. It is not always easy to get along with inlaws or peoples families ( even if you are not married ). Consider this though, he is flat out telling you that his brother and sister in law are two very important people in his life and in order for your relationship to work, you need to be respectful of them. I know its hard but try and bite your tongue when shade is being thrown your way unless they are deliberately going out of their way to be rude to you. Perhaps you could invite your boyfriend, his brother and sister in law over to your place for dinner or a game night or something to show him that you are making an effort in trying to get to know them and getting along with them. He probably feels as though you are trying to make him choose between you and his family, family always wins.

[basilandthyme]

I think I said this last time you posted, but will reiterate: It's not his family who are the problem - it's your boyfriend who's the problem. He's making the choice to prioritise them over you. If he really cared how they treated you, he'd move out of their house with you and leave them to fend for themselves.

[AnErin]

Your B/F takes his in-law's side over yours?
In-laws are the scourge of the earth!
You want to marry this guy? Do you REALLY want to marry into a family that is all about petty drama?
Get out while you easily can!