Thrill of the chase or sex on first date...to gain a relationship?

[BirthstoneBear]

This is directed at older men looking for love the second time around!

When you see a woman you fancy and text for a while as a Friend but "mostly" chat about sex as the common domain and then go on to arrange to date..do you expect sex on first date?

If she gives in do you feel that's too easy and won't keep you interested in that woman any longer once you get what you want.

If the woman says no..to sex on first date...will you ask for a second one bearing in mind that you get on well as friends through text with lots in common and comparable!

I can't get my head round the theory that men date for sex and women have sex to have a relationship?

I always thought men prefer the chase to the prize!

[smackie9]

You are generalizing....everyone has different expectations when it comes to dating, and it can even differ based on who they are going out with.

[michelle23]

You will get a million different answers coz every man is different..

What do you want? Do you want to have sex with him? And do you trust him enough to still be interested tomorrow? If no then dont do it. Establish trust first.

[Kromat83]

If men are young, sex is mostly on their mind and it would be rare to find someone that is in it for you.
I personally would rather get to know the person, share those fun moments, let the trust develop and not gauge the whole relationship in the bedroom.
If you feel that both of you are comfortable around each other, then it is worth investing the time, to see what can come of it.

[surfhb2]

In general , an older guy will hold off on all the sexy talk if he's in it for a relationship. But everyone is different

[Kromat83]

Most women have this indication that all men want just sex.
How can you find a suitable person to spend your life, when that is the most important thing for you ?

It's all a phase, like other things :
smoking (first cigarettes, then it becomes weeds), drinking (later getting drunk), nightclubs (later mainly social events).

There's so much more to value an individual like some interests you share, as having everything in common gets boring and it's nice to discover their world and something new you both can share together.

Being financially stable to be able to focus on your love instead.
Independent in a sense, that you were okay before they came into your life,
but sharing it, would make it easier for the two of you.

You have to make sacrifices to see it long-term, and can wait for certain aspects, if this is the right person for you.
Don't neglect your friends and spend at least 1 day a week, and tell her to do the same.

She is important in your life, but your whole world shouldn't revolve around her, she is special for both of you to connect and have this lasting relationship, but how will you handle it when it's over ?

Wherever we are, we constantly have to adopt, so be satisfied with the choices you make and learn from them.
Some things are not in your control and you tried all you could, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

If you tend to like the person that you are, and realize that there will be other opportunities, you wont be stuck in the past and will be able to move on a lot easier, just don't rush things and have a reasonable pace.

Having lots of hobbies to fall back on, helps relieve the stress and surrounding yourself with positive people, will go a long way in developing your character, your time will come.

Just keep your head high, and be determined to succeed.

[Johnagape]

I can't get my head round the theory that men date for sex and women have sex to have a relationship?

I always thought men prefer the chase to the prize!

Both are right. For different men and different situations.

I'm an older man, but I'm not looking for a new relationship. However if I was, I would be different than I was when I was young. Then I would try the sex angle quite early.

Now I am older and somewhat wiser from my experience. If I was looking for a serious relationship, I would go slow and get to know the woman first. Sex too soon, before one gets to know the other person gets too much emotion into the mix.

But there are men my age who are still chasing their teen egos.