Help with this, no clue what to think or do anymore.

[Louis25]

Im having this ordeal....i know this is gonna sound stupid but she fell in love with me cause im helpfull and kind....

Now heres the story. 4 months ago we met and played games then turned towards skype...She told me she has a daughter and i was okay with that...

Im from Holland she's from England.

We fell in love talking to eachother every night...sended eachother pictures of how we look and stuff and she's a gorgeous woman to me... Btw i am 32 she's 40...Here it comes at first she told she was 34...i assumed this until we brought ages up again..and she came out that she is in fact...40 years old...she bursted out crying until i told her to stop and said it doesnt matter im in love with you...thats how i really felt.

At first i didn't think much of it...i still am in love...but now i wonder why did she fell in love with me honestly? She keeps telling me im a listerener and kind and funny which is good...

Ive been thinking more and more about it and maybe im just a toy for her.

ofcourse i cant tell her that cause shell throw a fit telling me she hates drama...maybe thats just a way of avoiding questions that are on MY mind.

Since she has a child and didnt show excessive interest in other men for years..i wonder why pick me out of these guys and online? Im not bothered by her having a child btw...im in love i can deal with that...

She explained she never needs a man for finances and stuff or to support her and that she can make it on her own..Thats fine with me...but im beginning to think she's afraid to get attached to a man...and since im just online this is the perfect relationship for her... she can talk or text me whenever she wants and still can do her own things...Whilst i miss her it doesn't really show on her side sometimes.,..mostly im nice enough to listen to her at work rants when shes having a bad day...and noone else does im suppose to be a listening 'ear'...and i take it all telling her it will be allright...i can deal with it...thats not bothering me at all..

dont get me wrong i do love her and we still sweet talk on skype nearly every night about meeting eachother how were gonna kiss hold hands...

maybe it sounds worse we have only good times when we do talk...but on the other side im wondering if she needs a man in her life...or just someone she can talk to when she wants to...or maybe its just me and need to concentrate more on my own things..


We are gonna meet up in a week, she paid me a ticket which is nice of her. Yes we still have to meet and all thats why im not giving up so early...But i still doubt some things?

Not sure what to ask or discuss for example...about the future or is that too early anyway to ask her? How should i deal with this situtation anyway? Does is sound unhealthy and will this ever work out?

I guess any advice would be welcome.

[AnErin]

You won't know much of anything until you meet her.
Of course there is going to be apprehension.
Women are sometimes insecure about their age so worry not about the 34 vs 40 bit. Hopefully she isn't over 50 or something crazy.

Here is the real concern - OK if her and you are addicted to gaming (which I assume is so) then what would a LTR be like if you two see the back of each others' heads more than anything?
How old is the kid? What if you and your lady want to get intimate but the kid keeps walking in and saying, "Mom, there is a monster under my bed!" and she has to go "kill it".

Right now you are idealizing the person she is. That is easy to do over the web cause we have fragments of who the person is but mostly what we hope them to be. When you meet her in real life, you can get a better idea of what you are dealing with.
PLUS - what if things go to total shit the first day or two? Do you have an escape plan? Did she get you a round trip ticket? I mean if it is to be say a two week stay, what if you cannot stand it beyond the first day? Like say you get there and her jobless ex is living on her couch or her drug dealer keeps coming over and she has to "pay" for her meth while in the bedroom?

[michelle23]

Are you planning to move to england at some point or is she moving to holland?? These cyber relationships rarely work in real life and you are probably just wasting your time. Realistically ask yourself where is this going??

[Louis25]

Her kid is a 13 year daughter, not sure ive never dealt with a kid. But she's def on my side and assured me she will like me. She's always in bed around 10 pm ish anyway it wouldnt be a problem at all. On the first day she will be at her grandma anyway so we can get intimate with no problems. Lol shes not on drugs or anything at all, im pretty sure she's taking care of her child alone never seen or heard a guy in her rooom, shes been on webcam a cpl times for fun, sadly i dont have a webcam yet but she seen my face in plenty of pictures..

besides she enjoys the simple things in life shes certainly not a gaming addict and neither am i i just play em cuz i like em on my days off. We have other interests besides gaming anyway.

Its a 3 day trip with a return ticket.

Exactly what im asking myself Michelle but i thought it was too early to discuss these things until we meet i think then i will ask, she doesnt know any dutch at all so thats certainly not an option... Id have to prob move to England in the future and find a job there but i havent discussed that with her at all yet...thats what im afraid of tbh..of all these questions im gonna ask.

[Louis25]

Planning to live in England probably im an electrician but currently job looking for something else ....so no clue...she says she supports me...and i have no worries shes goin to linger out with other guys...shes just not interested in that.

i dont even know she doesnt know a word dutch anyway...and doesnt rly bother...gee i'll see what happens first i guess.

her daughter is 13 btw, and will be gone the first day/night we'll have so if we do get intimate which she really wants to she says everything will be fine. She's actually on my team as weird as that may sound...got little worries over her im ok with teenagers in general so.

Were planning for her to come over for a weekend, and a vacation with her daughter all together in 2 months...which is good...told her first to meet up then plan it though...


I am in love with her so i take things not too hard, yet she has to show me some iniative also from her side eventually....im just not sure what i am to her...does she really miss me...or am i just a boyfriend that comes over once a month to please what shes missing then go back again...


thank you very much for your replies by the way.

Another thing ive seen lotsa people fall in love online all over the world...they mostly do not work out i agree...but there are relationships that work...but rarely i guess..i dont know im in love with her...

Also the trip is for 3 days.


Also im not really a gaming addict i have a job and cant afford to game...we do nearly every night for a few hours and thats it.

[AnErin]

OK so - if the daughter is 13, by this time she probably likes to pretend her parents do not exist unless they want something, much like most teenagers.
The language barrier - That is not a huge problem. If she moved to Holland, she can learn if she wants and has a great coach.
If not, no biggie. I mean my gyod if Holland is anything like the USA - here in the states, it is getting unusual to hear someone who actually speaks English cause of all the damned immigrants.

As far as web relationships crumbling once they hit real life - probably no worse than face to face met relationships.

If you move to England, make sure and learn how to use the phrase "bloody hell" cause they say that a lot.