He's away at sea, home to him is not to me

[topofchaplin]

We met and dated for a little less than 2 weeks.

We fell for each other.

We are young(20) but we parted in the most respectable, mutual and grown up way - we tried not to be blind or rushed, to understand the impossible short time we'd had and the situation before us. It didn't change how we felt, and we knew we were not in love yet, but that we felt strongly for each other, that we'd come to care for each other.

We promised to stay in touch and take the 3 months he has to sea now to figure out what to do. He's from a town 8hours away with car. Now already before he's left with the boat he says honestly to me that he doesn't know how he'll feel in 3 months so he isn't sure about meeting me again and trying.

I feel more and more the opposite. Even when we've been apart now I've only gotten stronger ties to him. He is so special, I've never met someone like him (neither a person or a guy) in my life and I don't want to give up on him before we've given it a real go.

Am I naive for selling my feelings like that? For telling him that's how I feel? I've taken such few risks in my life and always been in control of everything. This time I'm not, but it feels like it's worth it. It's worth giving a shot, I'm willing to take a risk, because he's him. I understand that he's leaving for a huge work mission now in Syria and that he has little time to spend thinking about me and that things are different for him, but is it still dumb of me to tell him this and hang on to a tiny hope of us?

He made it so clear before he left me that he feels the same for me, and after all he was the one who initiated that we continued to meet from the very start even though he knew he was going to sea soon.

I feel hopeless digging a grave for my trillion thoughts, and I'm so afraid for saying the wrong things or saying too much over the phone while I try to explain this to him. He's such an honest good guy and I have so much respect for him, and it's all returned. I can't help thinking about that it'll be a long distance relationship at first if we do decide on it, and that he just doesn't want that regardless of with whom.


-little unknowing me

[Lord Darkshire]

You should be asking yourself can YOU do this? can you handle a relationship that you only will spend limited time together, and when he is off for months due to his career? Is it worth it for your own sake? Relationships like these are so limited, painful and emotionally draining, are you willing to go through this kind of emotinal torture?

[IndiReloaded]

People are very good at filling in gaps with fantasy. But realize that it IS fantasy. You two weren't together long enough to have any deep connection.

Sometimes, if we are very lucky, the gaps and the fantasy become aligned. But in your case, you don't have enough experience or opportunity to know this.

Would you say that someone who "loves" a celebrity they've never met (or met briefly) are truly in love with that other person? Or only in love *with the IDEA* of loving that person?

Same for you. Find someone else to give all that love you have. If he comes back and things pick up where they left off--great. If not, consider it a learning experience.

[topofchaplin]

He's not going to do any more missions at sea after these 3 months. He'll be home in June and might try and find work then. If not he'll be attending school from August. The thing is, I've never felt like this before for anyone, and I don't ever meet good guys like him. I'm incredibly specific about what I want and who I want and no one's captured my attention like he has. I just feel like we should give it a shot before we break all connection. For my sake anyway I feel like I'm in so deep already that I won't loose anything taking risk and trying. I feel that if I don't give it a try, I'll be thinking about 'what if' forever, and regret it. Is this still naive to think?

[IndiReloaded]

Shrug. Up to you. I've already stated my opinion. But, you miss 100% of the chances you don't take, so... I guess you'll know in a few more months.