That moment when you wonder what you let go of, why you did it....

[Darkest Heaven]

and if you'll ever find anything similar....



Rationally speaking, I'm being stupid. It was 3 days of dating, one of "messing around". I've been, and lost, 3+ year relationships. And yet.....


We had some things in common, but.... she's 19, I'm 25. She's addicted to cocaine and weed. I've never touched either in my life. Our compatibility was based on nothing more than BDSM. Okay, we liked the same music and shit, but whatever. Her looks, she's beautiful. Probably the prettiest girl I've dated in many years, if not ever. That's shallow of me. I'm not usually shallow. The relationship, haha... the (association), after 3 days, was turning into co-dependency. She was going to rely on me to get her off the drugs, something which I could help with, but never actually do. She's just getting into BDSM, she'd have never stuck around, she's so young, she would have wanted to explore. Right?


I broke it off for those reasons (mainly the drugs) a day or so ago. I got called a "****ass" by her supplier...--friend---........

Am I being a pretentious douche bag? I mean.... I thought it was justified at the time, but now, at 6 AM or so, I wonder. Will I ever find anybody as beautiful and compatible kink wise with me?


And then I know the answer, and it's a no. No because there is nobody "as" another person. No matter who I find next will be beautiful in her own way, different, but a good different because she will be my "current". So really, I just needed to vent.

I hate these moments.

[HeartIsAching]

I think you dodged a bullet.

Really, that was a can of worms you didn't need to open, good for you.

To answer your question, yes you probably will find someone much more compatible, particularly if you pursue your particular kink. The internet is your friend.

[Darkest Heaven]

I know you're right. Keep in mind, I'm looking for a relationship first, my kinks second, but they are a major part of it all.

I mean, I've very rarely had trouble with the kinky side of things and am usually the picky one. I'm just having a "what if" moment. I feel a little better, though. But thanks, I think I did dodge a bullet, too. Nothing good can come from co-dependency, and that's without the other issues.

[searock]

Next time pick someone closer to your own age and that doesn't have drug problems. You weren't a douche for "breaking up" after 3 days, you just weren't compatible and you ended things before they got worse.

[smiling100]

Sounds like you certainly dodged a bullet.

The potential for the relationship to go sideways was huge.