my language friend doesn't want to meet me (help me convince her)

[racer120]

Hello everyone,

I'll try to make a long story short:

I've known a Russian girl for about 4 years now through facebook initially. We chatted on occaisions but never too much. I developed a crush on her back then (2011), but that faded and we lost contact.

Since last year, I've started studying the language, and since winter we started being in touch again (actually she was the one who picked up contact again). At the start there was nothing of feelings, but that gradually came during the early months of the year.
In part we chat of course for help with the language, but we also chat about much more stuff. Nice especially as we do things for each other, like taking photos of where we live, or of ourselves (she's stunning, I like it when she takes photos just for me ).

Anyway, in early May I'm heading to her city for a festival, but also with the big hope of meeting her in person after all these years. It's true, that over winter and recently, I started developing feelings for her, although I never really expressed them (though chatting on most days would suggest she knows I like her).

I have a very shy character, so asking her to meet me took me a lot of courage. I thought of things like: "only normal for friends to meet up" or, "it might in fact turn bad if you fail to ask her, because she will feel disappointed in you". Anyway, I didn't want to risk our friendship (or whatever we have between us two), so it took me some time to ask.
This morning, after I noticed I got her attention (I made some photos for her again of things she likes), I decided to simply pop the question and ask.

- me: "if you want, we could meet in May. I invite you"
- her: "thank you. I think not" (*heart sinks*)
- me: "why not, are you afraid? "
- her: "haha, no of course not"
- me: "well, I thought it would be fun to meet. You are always welcome"
- me: "you shouldn't decide now, think it over"
- her: "ok"
... chat continues

I must say, up to know, I haven't felt too bad about it, but I'm sure on my bike ride in a few minutes time I will be completely destroyed.

It is my dream to meet up, and in the end, even though I like her a lot, isn't it normal for friends to meet?
I want to convince her that meeting me would actually be a fun experience. But I feel I shouldn't ask her straight away again.

So where does this leave me now? Where does this leave US now? What sort of 'relationship' do we have -in which we actually do a lot for each other, but where a meet up is apparently not possible?
Should I just continue chatting as if nothing happens?

I feel like my trip there might be a very empty, delusional one. Way to go for my first holiday in nearly a year...
And what is more, I feel my hobby of studying the language might be in serious jeapordy now.

[AnErin]

A lot of men get into hobbies because they think it is going to help them get laid.
Women can pretty easily sense the guys who are into a club/society/hobby/whatever cause they are just trying to meet women.

Besides, the person she is might be way different than who you are imagining and hoping she will be. When we have not met someone in person or not really know them, it is easy to conjure an image of who they are.

If your interest in a new language is about to crumble because of a semi-bad experience with ONE person, maybe it is time to re-evaluate how you should be spending leisure time.