Please help me, I'm so lost

[HBK1997]

I may not act my age, I may have been weird,. But the girl I was with, she understood me. We understood each other. I tried my hardest to be the best boyfriend I could be for her. Telling her how she’s the princess in the tower and I’m her knight in shining armor. At the renaissance fair I had her wait one second because I had a saw a flower lady with her favorite flower and so I had bought it for her and she spent the whole day sniffing it and blushing. Then about 8-9 month into the relationship she starts having problems with her parents getting a divorce, her grades slipping. I supported her the best I could but the best wasn’t good enough for her.

She broke up with me 2 weeks before Christmas. Christmas of the year before was where I first asked her out (where she said no actually, but then later confessed that she panicked and that she actually did have feelings back) The thing I most remember from our relationship was the plan to go on a adventure after we graduate, never had that happen to me before.

I tried being supportive after the break up, trying to be her friend. It was really unfair because she would still tell me she loved me. Then one day, when I was going on about all the stuff I was able to accomplish that day with her one of my friends showed me some messages that she had said to her. Stuff like she’s already moved on, that she doesn’t want to date a pussy like me, that she’s tired of wearing the pants of the relationship, that she wanted a man not a boy. I felt broken… Like my whole world had shattered. I was angry, hurt, and confused so I sent a nasty message. The next day her friend slaps me and then tells me how she was crying all night so I apologized because I knew I took it too far. She told me she was kidding, that she didn’t mean it. I tried to believe it, even though I knew she was lying. I apologized so many times hoping that she’d forgive me. She never did. She didn’t meet my eye when we were with a group and ignored everything I said, like I didn’t exist. It made me feel terrible, knowing that we used to love each other, that we were happy.

She’s blocked me on Facebook. I tried and tried to make things right but she just wouldn’t forgive me. Then one day she told me that she’ll forgive me if I never talk to her again. So I waited, I waited while one of my friends decided to make a move on her. I hid my feelings as I saw them flirting right in front of me. I hid the tears when I saw her smile at him. I swallow a sob when my friends tell me that she’s moved on, that she’s in love with my friend. All because I wanted her to be happy and that I knew if she saw I was still hurting she wouldn’t be happy.

Now these days her relationship with my friend is still flirtatious but not as much as it was, I avoided the group for a few weeks, talking to other group members when she wasn’t around. I thought I was better, that I had moved on. So I had rejoined the group, with her present. She still ignored me but kept glancing over at me. I was perturbed so I continued showing up for a few more times. Each time I’d find her looking at me, and as soon as I caught her she’d look away. My heart started hoping for so many things even though my brain told it to stop.

Then a couple days later she gets asked to prom by a senior that she is friends with. I kept losing to myself saying it was a good thing even though I hurt so much.I tried to judge her reaction about being asked and whatnot and was suprised to find that she was indifferent. Like it didn’t really matter to her. Then I kinda but not really watched how she was with the senior and as far as I could tell they were just friends. Unless he felt something she didn’t.

She started looking at me more, sometimes not breaking eye contact but me instead breaking it. Then one day as I was calling one of my friends over she just looks at me and gives me a smile, a smile I hadn’t seen since we had dated, when we were alone. Truth be told my brain was overheated and my heart was beating like a jackhammer. I tried to get her out of my head but couldn’t no matter how much I tried. So I decided to send her a text, see if she wanted to talk, she is Stage manager and I’m an actor so it’s normal for me to have her number. I sent her a text and was suprised by a quick response. I texted her for 30 min-an hour before I cut the conversation off. She had been businesslike, not open, which I figured to be normal because of everything that I had happened.

The next day I tried texting her again and again she responded. This time with one word responses, like yes and no and idk sometimes longer but not much. I tested her two days after and got no response at all. I’m worried now though, I’m worried about what may happen at prom because of all the rumors like virginity being lost and other things of that nature. I don’t want her to make a mistake she is going to regret for the rest of her life. I care about her and I want her to be happy. That’s why I never told her I still love her and I want to text her, to to tell her that I’ll be here for her, through rain, sleet, and snow so if she was going home with a under the influence driver because she doesn’t have a license that I’ll ride my bike(because both her and I are sophmores so prom isn’t for us) to the state house where prom is being held or wherever she may be and takeher hom e. I just don’t see the purpose. I wanted to tell her these things but I’m scared if I do I’m going to scare her off before things get fixed. I know we will probably never be in a relationship but if I’m able to just be there, just be there for her when she needs someone most, I’ll be happy.

She went to prom and I said nothing. I ended up finding a photo of her on a mutual friend on Facebook. Now normally when you dress up you put makeup on and lipstick to impress a date but she wasn't wearing any. So I was relieved because I knew she wasn't going to do anything, and she was in good company. I've been trying to text her but now she doesn't respond at all. How do I salvage it? Do I isolate myself again? Do I try even harder? Should I just give up? Am I wasting my time

Better?/what should I take out

[Kromat83]

Put some spaces between paragraphs and summarize it as it is too long, and hard to read.

[michelle23]

Ya and stop being sooo overly romantic. Its upsetting

[HBK1997]

Fixed... Kinda? What should I cut?

[Wakeup]

You're too young to be trying so hard to stay with a girl that isn't all over you like white on rice. I'm not saying it will be easy but: Completely ignore her online and at school. I suspect she'll find you more intriguing if you do that. Right now she knows no matter how awful she treats you, you're gonna fawn all over her with your doe eyes looking at her in desperation.

Find another girl to flirt with and forget her altogether. Life is too short to be pining over someone who barely gives you the time of day.

[Valixy]

The post is fine, HB, but your inability to understand that this girl isn't interested in you anymore isn't. The fact that you make eye contact every now and then when you're in a group means nothing. She hardly responds to your texts and she never initiates any communication. Please figure out the real message and move on.

In the future stop treating women like they're princesses in towers, because they aren't. They're real human beings who'll make mistakes and want to have fun. Neither are you a knight in shining armor, nor should be.

Good you didn't mention anything about your worries that she'd lose her virginity at the prom and she'd regret it for the rest of her life. Agree, girls don't always have a first night as they should, but they get over it and learn from the experience. Losing one's virginity is not a tragedy, it's a necessity and when she would lose hers, it's none of your business anymore.

The post she sent about the relationship with you to your common friend was what she really felt, that you're too soft and romantic to the point that you result unattractive. You can consider this and do some changes, develop a new more relaxed and appropriate attitude in interacting with nowadays girls, but if you aren't willing to, you should be prepared to be rejected by more girls in the future. You will naturally change a bit as you grow up, but if you decide to help it a bit too, you'd do much better with girls. Good luck.

[Lord Darkshire]

When they say no more, they mean it and you should leave them alone and move on. It's hard to do because of your strong feelings, but it is what it is.

This relationship will not be your last, there are many to come, and you yourself will end relationships as well. You need to accept the fact that relationships do end. It's not what you want to hear but you can't force someone to want you as much as you want them. You can't salvage this, she wants you to leave her alone, and that is what you need to do. The more you pester her the more she will resent you and ignore you. Stop all contact.

[HBK1997]

Well might as well put this in the broken hearts forum now... I kinda figured I was being stupid and whatnot. My "friend" constantly flirts with my ex and texts her all the time. Sometimes she's happy he cares, other times she seems annoyed I. really, well hate doesn't seem like the right word but I'm just so pissed, so angry at him.

Back when she was having trouble with her folks and whatnot she didn't talk to anyone. She got mad when I tried, then my "friend" tried texting her and suddenly they're the best of pals... Basically he promised/swore he wasn't trying to take her from me a week or two before we broke up. Then she started talking about things he'd say like are you Copper tellurium? Because you're CuTe ... He said that when we were sitting alone together and she read it and laughed. Who the fug does that when you know she has a boyfriend? Then, her speech before we broke up was one that the guy had talked to me the day before and it was random but his words were said exactly the same by her. Then when he saw me after I managed to convince her to stay with me for a little longer he smiled and clapped me on the back and said I heard the bad news. You ok? Basically he knew before it was even gonna happen. That's why I don't want it to happen. Not because I'm selfish but because it's just fugged up.

[Wakeup]

are you Copper tellurium? Because you're CuTe ...

Good one. *chuckles*

Alas, HBK. *sighs* KNOW that with time and doing your best to stay away from her, you will start feeling a lot better. Start flirting with other chicks and forget this one. You can do better you know.

[HBK1997]

You can do better you know.

Everyone says that... My friends, my family... It's just hard sometimes to find someone who understands you. Who is almost exactly like you. Some people go their whole lives not finding a single person who understands them.

[michelle23]

You are young. You will meet someone who understands you. This girl is not the right one. Its time to accept that and move on.

Also stop believing all the fairytales. Your not a white knight and shes not a princess. And too much romance can be overwhelming and a turn off so take it down a notch in future

[HBK1997]

Thank you everyone, this really helped. I'm finally able to have a clear mind and actually focus on my studies that I've been lacking recently hehe. I just needed to tell myself that she doesn't replicate the feelings I had for her and suddenly it dawned on me that she is just girl. That there are other girls besides her. I've managed to avoid her for the past couple of days. Although there was one incident where her friend started flirting with me when she was right behind her. :p I don't feel anymore pain when I see her anymore which is good. I've started looking at the good things happening in my life and focus on those. Also I somehow managed to talk to other girls that interest me (didn't think it'd be that easy) All these good things but she still pops into my head every once in a while. Which I've accepted, I've accepted that I small piece of me will always have feelings for her. Even if she isn't the same girl I fell in love with.

P.S I guess her and my friend got into a fight or something because now even they're being distant to each other, so things couldn't be better.

P.P.S I think her mom still likes me which is awkward. Like today I was helping with theatre stuff and she saw me and in my head I was like uh oh. Then she came over and tried having a conversation with me. I mean it was sort of a conversation but eh not really, like simple how do you dos, awkwardness, what we've been up to and then I kinda said goodbye and left. Nevertheless, these things no longer matter.

Thanks Everyone and Cheers!
HBK

[Kromat83]

your still in high school, this is a learning experience.
You shared something with her, so of course she'll keep popping in your head, and the less
you hang around, as hard that might be for some, will make it so much better to let go.

More often these things happen, it'll just get easier, because you've been through it before, the first time is the worst.

Good luck with yourself, and look forward to university.

[Wakeup]

P.P.S I think her mom still likes me

Is her mom single? Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk

(j/k)