I broke up with God :(

[Pope Matthew]

So I’m not an atheist yet but am not a Christian either. I’ve done investigation and am convinced that there are miracles, believe that prayer has power, and that there is some providential power greater than myself caring for me.

Well over the last two years, whatever Theism I embraced has been dwindling. I would rather there was no God than one like the one that is portrayed as punishing people for ever.

Would rather there was no God if God is the angry Czar who wills people should wail and gnash their teeth for eternity because of the mistakes they make in this brief life. Especially when we are so blinded and often just following our nature when we sin.

I know prayer has power and the people that loved me unconditionally and took me in were almost always Christian,. I'll never say "there is no God" because an insignificant speck of dust who has no authority to make such a declaration shouldn't.

If God would will that people would have to be tortured for eternity, why would the existence of such a God be a good thing, and why would I want to be in Heaven worshiping him for all eternity?More and more I'm beginning to hope Atheists are right. If God would will that people would have to be tortured for eternity, why would the existence of such a God be a good thing, and why would I want to be in Heaven worshiping him for all eternity?

I know that people tend to like to believe what is false. There is so much religious hysteria, propaganda, and fakery out there. However, I’ve done much research into the shroud of Turin, the Certified miracles at Lourdes France, the Miraculous Guadalupe Tilma, and the miracle of Fatima, and believe those are more than just stories, and many unbelievers and/or Scientists and Doctors who have investigated such things, have indeed converted.

However, I can find absolutely nothing rational or good about a God who could be so heartless as to burn in hell those who do not believe in him. Also, what makes me doubt the Christian faith is when I see these upright Christians so full of themselves, superficial, self-righteous, and judgmental, and nonChristians who excel in the greatest theological virtue “Charity” more than 95-99% of Christians.

The fact that Religion is so divided and a confusing mess tells me that God does a poor job of guiding and shepherding even those who have dedicated their lives to him/her.

If God is love as Scripture says he is, then many Atheists/agnostics must have God.

I was Catholic but now I'm a moral relativist. I cannot embrace rigid legalism and kill myself with guilt and shame and the constant fear of eternal damnation. This isn't limited to Catholicism which remains my favorite Religion and I still frequent the Sacrament of Confession which has clearly been proven effective in my life.

However, I cannot keep torturing an already fragile and disturbed mind with the belief that souls are going off to a place of eternal misery and torture forever and ever and ever. So many hours I spent weeping and begging God to just give me the grace to do his will and lead a soul away from this place of chronic and never ending torment. This worse nightmare that never ends.

I can't keep living in a dream world thinking that if I keep my heart pure and free of pride, lust, anger, covetousness, envy, laziness, selfishness, or disbelief, my prayers will have more power and I'll receive more grace from God. I can't keep living in a fantasy. If you can call a horrifying nightmare a fantasy.

Can't keep walking into work or a public place and thinking all these unbelievers and immoral people I'm looking at will be racked with pain forever and ever and ever. Can't keep thinking I am responsible in some way for their damnation because I have the truth and am not sharing it with them.

No more! I told God with screaming and weeping that he would lose me. I knew what I needed and asked in the name of Jesus, only to receive silence and confusion. No more. No more of this scrupulosity, delusions, and foolishness. I can't keep letting God do this to me. I can't keep letting my hopes get up and placing dangerous confidence in all these inspirations I think are from the Holy Spirit. Can't keep living with the feeling that I've written and am living a false narrative to empower myself and give me hope.

But I, an insignificant speck of dust cannot infallibly declare with certainty that God doesn’t exist but still know this Religion stuff was destroying me. Shame on you God!

That's me on a hike Yesterday April 14:
(I turned 27 April 11)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2tqMz2RliN0

[chinagirl]

People make their own decision. They choose their destiny. If something bad happens to them, its not God's choice for them to suffer. It is man's free will to make the wrong choice that creates misery. Its man's evil action that creates havoc in this world. Do not blame God for man's actions. Its just the easy way out to always blame someone or something!

[suddenlynothing]

God does exist, all religion is bullshit. You've now found the answer to everything.

[Valixy]

Hell and Paradise are states of mind that continuously manifest in and create the material world. We have this power, freedom and great responsibility. Besides we also need to undergo a long purification and learning process :-) The biggest and hardest lesson is however the form desidentification because we are not these vulnerable limited human beings we think we are, but supreme beings conquering the material world through the little beings we seem to be

[HeartIsAching]

It sounds to me as if you've broken up with religion, not God.

I spent decades not believing in any sort of god whatsoever, but events in my life have forced me to change my views. Instead, I believe that most religions have a piece of the truth, and think that's the whole truth.

I believe that the truth is that God exists, but doesn't care what gender you are, what color your skin is (or even if you have skin, scales or fur), or what manner you worship... or indeed whether or not you worship. Personally, I think of it as "The Universe".

[KingZ]

Hahaha. This thread is such bullshit.

[Pope Matthew]

I was so drunk these last four days I forgot i was a member of this forum. Happy easter!

[lonewolf47]

Happy easter to you too! and dont confuse our nature with evil. If that was true, will be cannibalistic cave apes! But we can transcend our nature and become gods by grace.

[Pope Matthew]

I'm amazed that everyone here seems to be a theist

[smackie9]

No we just don't agree with organized religions. You can be a spiritual person without relying on a religion.

[Oddball]

I'm an atheist and have been many years. I don't particularly care if others believe in Big Spooky or not. Nobody is dunking me in the river unless she's naked and we're going skinny dipping.
If I were to believe in any sort of supernatural woo it would be the Tooth Fairy. I actually got money for teeth as a kid which is a whole lot more than I ever got from a god. I know, you might THINK it was my mom, but I was sleeping.

[HeartIsAching]

I am a newly-converted theist... but I'm not a Christian (or anything else for that matter). As Smackie said, you don't need a religion or a church to be spiritual.

[KingZ]

Can someone explain what "spiritual" means?

(Have fun.)

[Pope Matthew]

I'll explain mr/mrs bad waffles when I'm not on a cell phone. My question now is are u spiritual?

[HeartIsAching]

Can someone explain what "spiritual" means?

(Have fun.)

I can only explain what it means to me.

And I suspect you're just taking the opportunity to poke fun.