Not sexually attracted to my boyfriend anymore..

[asjdfkladfj]

We've been together for a year and a half. We haven't had sex in months. I don't find him attractive anymore. He's gained weight, he's always angry at me, and I have built up resentment from some physical/emotional abuse he's put me through. There's one specific incident that makes me tear up every single time I think about it. But whenever I tell him about how it hurts me, he tells me to stop bringing up the past and won't admit to the things he did and said. So I have to pretend like nothing bothers me.. but on the other hand, he's always telling me what I'm doing wrong and what I'm saying wrong and he always brings up the past! He says I'm the one who's a hypocrite but he does everything he yells at me for then tells me I'm making it up when I tell him what he's doing. Also, he's been with many women before he met me, and I've only been with a few other guys. I am attractive, and I'm always being told so. But I feel like I'm missing out on life because of him. He is so sweet to me when he's not angry, and constantly tells me how much he loves me and wants to spend his future with me and is always talking about it. Lately, I don't share the excitement. I want to know if this is normal behavior of a man that's in love and I want to know what I can do to get my sexuality back?

[chinagirl]

Two words... GET OUT!!!

Okay, maybe more than two, do not take any abuse from anyone.... you can't get your sexuality back, not with your BF anyway while he is being abusive to you and you have this resentment built up inside of you.... and lastly, it is not a loving gesture to yell and be always angry at your GF.

[Boisdevie]

Question for the OP. Don't you think you deserve better than this?

[basilandthyme]

Easy solution for finding your sexuality again: find a guy you love and respect

[michelle23]

You need to end this. This guy is abusive, controlling, manipulative and you deserve better.

[bulrush]

He sounds a lot like my ex, who I'm pretty sure was a sociopath or had Borderline Personality Disorder. GET OUT.

[nopickuplines]

Definitely get out. If you aren't sexually attracted to him any more that says a lot about what your emotions are telling you. I tend to over use this word on this forum, but "chemistry" is the key. If when he touches you, you feel that tingly feeling, that is chemistry. If when he looks you deep in your eyes you feel that tingly feeling, that is chemistry. Sex just happens because all these good tingly feelings build up and must release somehow. I would recommend doing some meditation, or my favorite Faster EFT to let go of these traumas that he has instilled in you. In fact you'll be surprise that these traumas started at a much younger age. Heal yourself and dump his ass. (;

[Satina]

But I feel like I'm missing out on life because of him.

You are. This is a self-centered man who is too focused on his own interests and who isn't willing to put you and your feelings first.

Lately, I don't share the excitement. I want to know if this is normal behavior of a man that's in love

Men who treat their girlfriends the way he treats you lack maturity. He will not change anytime soon especially if he sees that you stay with him and that you are accepting his behavior. He thinks it's normal to act the way he does and feels no remorse whatsoever for hurting you or neglecting your feelings. He will use manipulation to make you feel guilty, not necessarily because he's evil but because he's weak and needs to resort to abuse to get what he wants and to not lose your love and loyalty. This relationship is unhealthy and could deeply damage you in the long term. Why settle for that?

While he may be in love with you, he is not loving you the right way. Love is about respect, compromise, understanding, forgiveness. And I see very little of that coming from him. You are compromising way too much for this guy... more than he deserves. Don't settle for a relationship that fills you with pain and frustration when in return you only get scarce moments of joy and barely any gratitude or recognition for all that sh*t you put up with. Why does he get to benefit from your happiness and then gets to ignore your sadness which he caused? That's flat unfair if you ask me. You're being treated unfair. You're giving too much to someone who doesn't know what it is to give.

Believe me when I say you could be so, so much happier, with a partner who is willing to listen and understand you. You know, someone who values you, appreciates you, whether you are happy or sad, whether you are nice or naggy at times. All men are different. And some are better than others.

and I want to know what I can do to get my sexuality back?

Don't bother. Save your coochie for someone who deserves it.

One day you will think to yourself: "I can't believe how much time I wasted back then... And how I am so much happier now!" So my advice to you is... do whatever you want, but make sure that in the future you don't regret what you did with your time and who you did it with.

Good luck, hope all works out for you.

[Gatoloca]

The problem is not your sexuality. I'm sure you still have that, it's just buried under the stress and pressures of this relationship. What you describe is not healthy and you dear better. He says he wants a future witH you but is this the way you want your future to be? Think about it and get out while you still can. It is easier said than done but you will regret it the longer you stay in this relationship.

[cbg123]

I know this is way easier said than done, but you need to leave. Take a long hard look at everything you just posted on here: What would you tell someone else who posted what you did? You don't deserve any type of abuse. The fact that he's abused you and refuses to talk about it means that he doesn't truly have remorse for what he's done. Do not settle.