Cheating ex... What to do?

[mrtdg82]

I will try and make this as brief as possible as this is a little lengthy.

I have been with this girl for 16 months. She is only 24 and previously married with 2 children which she shares custody with the dad. We started seeing each other soon after they split and they were still living together.

She got her own place September last year and has her children mon-thurs whilst he has them thurs-sun.

In November I turned up at the flat one night and found her on the sofa with an ex bf. I got angry and stormed out, it turned out she slept with him. Filled with regret she asked me to come over the next day where she begged me back. Despite everything, I did.

It's been a hard road since then but we have got on really well. I know this might be hard to believe but she was really in love with me. She would tell me every day, text me frequently telling me how much she loved me etc so despite what had happened I was confident of how she felt for me.

Until 2 weeks ago.

We had a stupid row over something trivial to do with the fact I was unhappy about her having her sister stay over rather than me when my dad had been in hospital and so we only had the one night together that week. In the end her sister didn't stay, I did, but she wasn't well so I looked after her and cooked her dinner.

The following day she broke up with me. It later turned out a couple of days later that over the past 2 days she had been talking to some guy on the internet. She took her keys back from me 2 days later on the weds but we ended up sleeping together. The next day she decided she wanted to try make things work and we had a really good night together so I stayed and got my keys back. The next night (bare with me!) she ended it again but I stayed and we slept together with her in tears. She went to work the next morning and left me there, she then rang and text me constantly in the morning saying she didn't want us to end. When I replied later that day, her attitude had changed. I knew something wasn't right.

Cut a long story short, the guy she met on the internet days earlier, she had gone out with that night. She then took him back to her flat where I caught her again. This was 2 weeks ago.

Since then I've seen her twice last time we slept together again. I've become so angry and told her after what she did to me I wanted the money back I leant her when in debt and I told her I should tell her family (who liked me) exactly what she did. She is now in panic and won't leave me alone.

I was supposed to meet up with her to discuss things but she is at her parents and won't let me at her flat for some unknown reason. So I've refused to discuss anything unless it's in a place where we have privacy.

I know I should be rid of her and be happy she is gone. But I'm so angry and hurt by everything she did to me I feel I should do something as revenge. Such as take her to court for my money, or write a letter to her parents to explain what happened as she always portrays herself to be totally innocent.

What do I do?

[chinagirl]

What do you know... Once a cheater, always a cheater.

What do I do?

You already know the answer to your question. GET RID OF HER!!!

[mrtdg82]

Sorry I meant with regards to getting my money back? It's more to do with the fact I really feel like I need revenge rather than wanting her back. I know that's immature but that she did it twice I just feel I want to do something to get her back for what she did.

[chinagirl]

It depends how much she owes, if it's significant enough, by all means, ask her to pay you back, if not, dont even bother wasting your time.

The best revenge is to take NO ACTION. Ignore her and pretend she doen't exist. Block and delete her. I know, I know, easier said than done, but cmonn, this girl duped you twice, maybe more, where is your pride?

[Wakeup]

Sorry I meant with regards to getting my money back? It's more to do with the fact I really feel like I need revenge rather than wanting her back. I know that's immature but that she did it twice I just feel I want to do something to get her back for what she did.

Tell her you need the money back to pay for therapy. You have codependency issues that makes you stay with women that clearly mis-treat you. Your therapist will help you to figure out WHY you don't have the confidence and self-esteem to leave someone who you aren't even married to who would cheat on you AND lend them money? O.o

If you don't like that suggestion then just call a lawyer. He/she will send one letter for a nominal charge asking for the return of the money lended and if that doesn't work on her, then looks like you're beat. Did you get a promisory note signed by her stating she'd repay the money? If you didn't then Its your word against hers and I suspect any judge will just look at you as wanting revenge.

[smackie9]

No court will help you unless you have something in writing like a signed agreement or contract. If it was verbal you are shit out of luck. I say cut your losses and move on.

Tip: they cheat, they will cheat again. Don't date cheaters.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh and BTW don't bother sending a message to her parents. They will believe their daughter over a bitter ex BF. I'm sure she has already painted a nasty picture of you to them to cover her ass.

[michelle23]

You should be angry at yourself. Its obvious to me that you were a rebound, she wasnt ready for a new relationship and you let her walk all over you-not once but THREE times.

Why wouud you let anyone treat you this way? If you believe that is love than I reccomend you get some therapy for your co-dependancy (doormat) and learn from this mistake.

[lonewolf47]

If the money is a lot talk to a lawyer. If not, forget it. She was never realy in love with you. She was using you for money,emotional suport etc. Do Chek this co-dependancy thing however.

[Oddball]

Chalk it up as a costly lesson and move on. Cheap lessons aren't worth the price of admission and be damned glad you're not paying her child support.

[lonewolf47]

Chalk it up as a costly lesson and move on. Cheap lessons aren't worth the price of admission and be damned glad you're not paying her child support.

Damn right! she seems to make a profesion in this thing!