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Thread: Something to Hide ?

  1. #1
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    Something to Hide ?

    Hello,

    I need a perspective of a woman.
    I have been dating this slightly older woman since August of last year. I see her about 2 hours/week always in a coffee shop or a restaurant.
    She is a workaholic. She is very entrepreneur, a go-getter, motivated. She says that she never wanted any children and has no regrets about that.

    She has at least 2 other men in her life. Her ex-boyfriend of 10 years which she broke-up with last spring that she says she sees him every single day still.
    She also has a long distance relationship with a man from Portland, USA that she met at a Conference on mental health.

    I have so much in common with this women it is almost scary.
    I told her that I would like to have more children againl She said that she would like to be friend with benefits.
    We have never been intimate together. She has told me that she does not want to marry me and that she does not want to sleep with me.
    However, she has flipped-flopped on those issues.

    She has asked me to travel with her. She has also asked me if I would start a business with her.
    Should I break-up with this woman and move ON ?
    Why is she asking me to be a business partner with her ?

    I know she is at least twice as rich as me.
    Comments ??>?

    Paolo

  2. #2
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    Good lord really? She told you her expectations and they do not match yours, so why do you need to ask? It's a no brainer you can do better than this. Stop seeing her, you are just spinning your wheels.

    - - - Updated - - -

    You don't have much in common if she only wants to have friends with benefits when you are looking for a wife to have kids with. You lack experience? No really popular with the ladies? Have trouble finding a GF?
    Last edited by smackie9; 20-04-14 at 04:11 PM.

  3. #3
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    Paolo, this doesn't even qualify as dating. There is no relationship to break-up
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  4. #4
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    Follow-up

    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Paolo, this doesn't even qualify as dating. There is no relationship to break-up
    I am attracted to this women.
    She talks openly about her finances and her financial transactions in her personal life and business career.
    I have never know anyone to be so open about their finances as she was with me.

    I felt that she inspired me in some ways and valued my friendship with her.
    It bothered me alot that she always insisted in meeting me at a Coffee Shop or at a local Restaurant.
    The only time that I went to her home is when I accepted to pick her up and drop her off at the airport so that she could goto the funeral of the mother of her
    long distance boyfriend. She new of his mother death on Wednesday, promptly cancelled her classes and booked a flight to Chicago from Saturday to Tuesday night.

    I found out that her ex-boyfriend went to pick her up at the airport. She did not want to tell me.
    Before leaving for Chicago we spoke almost daily over the phone, internet and text. I felt our relationship had momentum.
    Since she came back from Chicago in February, I felt our relationship was more distant. She was more iritated when I asked to many questions and she let me know.

    She still said that she would like to be a business partner with me and maybe travel with me.
    I had reservations. I had let her know that I wish that our relationship could be more intimate .............

    It irritated me that she never invited me to her house. Once I invited her to my house and she said that she did not want to sleep with me.
    She only wanted to friends with me. I have never been in a situation like this before.

    She broke-up with me but said she would remain friends when I get married with another woman.
    Comments.

    Paolo

  5. #5
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    You have been friends zoned. Please read the ladder theory. http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm

  6. #6
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    Being open doesn't mean she's into you. It only means that she's inclined to overshare.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  7. #7
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    Missed the Ball ???

    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Being open doesn't mean she's into you. It only means that she's inclined to overshare.
    We both have the same job at different colleges. We both are into real estate.
    I have been more reserved about my finances and only told her general things, more than I tell anyone.

    In my communications, with her she became irritated that I would keep in touch every 2-3 days.
    I think she wanted more space to connect with her long distance relationship from Portland.
    At one point she even asked if I would goto Portland. She was testing me. I declided.
    She said she would break up with him, but the next week was into him again.
    She told me her long distance relationship had a DUI 10 years ago and did not exercise regularly like she did.

    She told me at some point that I had thrust issues and that she needed to feel passion in order to have sex.
    Even at 47, she was an attractive women and told me she had numerous boyfriends in the last year alone.
    In a way, that made me feel a special number.

    Was she trying to tell me something ?
    Early on in our relationship, she had said that I was not good on picking-up on signals from women.
    I agree, but I feel I made alot of progress with that over time.

    Did I miss the ball ?
    Why was she always so distant ? meeting in coffee shops and restaurants ?
    I felt she was a married women looking for something on the side. It felt that way. A player ..
    Some one told me that she is a woman that wants to be in control of her relationships.


    Paolo

  8. #8
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    Dude! Stop !

    She's not into you! Let it go and find a girl who is.

    These are the type of women you avoid...you're old enough to know that, right?

  9. #9
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    shes babout to con you out of loads of cash ,people only talk of their finances when they want to put you at ease by making yiu think they got plenty so not after yours,,,get out now!!!

  10. #10
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    that woman is up to no good run away besides the thing you have is not a relationship.

  11. #11
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    She still said that she would like to be a business partner with me and maybe travel with me.
    She's setting you up.

    Go no contact and stop thinking that she wants you for anything more then her financial source.

    If she really wanted YOU, you'd know it and you'd have no need to start a thread about her... Common Sense.

    She also has a long distance relationship with a man from Portland, USA that she met at a Conference on mental health.
    What is her issue that she'd need to go to a conference on mental health? If she's not a doctor of some sort then???
    Last edited by Wakeup; 21-04-14 at 11:42 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  12. #12
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    This woman name let`s call her Margaret. She told me that she does alot of volunteer work and is involved in alot of different things.
    This woman has told me that she owns 3 houses, all over 1/2 million dollars + 1 commercial property.

    When meeting her in person she would talk to me about the other men in her life, more specifically her lover from Portland.
    At one point she told me he had a DUI over 10 years ago and did not exercise regularly.

    She had planned a trip to Hawaii months ago. She even asked me if I would go. I was evasive. My career is taking off and needs my full focus.
    She told me that her lover from Portland would be meeting her in Hawaii but he would be paying his ticket. She would be only paying for the food.
    She said things were expensive in Hawaii. She told she owns a time-share there and the last time she went was 4 years ago and some times would go for more than 2 weeks that she has planned this time around.

    She told that she texts, calls and Skypes with her lover from Portland every single day.
    Despite that she likes to tease me.

    When asking me to drive up to her far which is about 150km away, she asked me to meet her at a Boston Pizza about 50 km from her farm.
    Saying that the weather conditions were not too good on her farm and that there might be mud.

    This irritates me alot. Then during the conversation at the Boston Pizza she asked me :`"Do I give my mechanic a blowjob ?"
    Why does she ask me that ? Is she teasing with me ? Has doubts about her lover from Portland ? Has some sexual fantasy about me ?
    Thinks that I am stupid ?

    About 3 days later, she told me that she could not see me for an entire 5 day long week-end.
    I told that if I could not see her I would consider ending our friendship.
    The next mornign she invited me to a movie.

    To my surprise. SHe paid for the movie. But I had to pay for my snack. She only took a large coffee.
    During the movie she was receiving texts on her smarthphone. Another movie goer asked her to turn off her smarthphone.

    By impulse, during the movie, I put my hand on her knee. She got very mad/defensive and rushed out of the teatre after the movie.
    I asked her for a hug, but she refused saying NO.

    She said she could not see my anymore.
    However, in another meail she said she would stay friends if I would find a girlfriend and get married.
    Comments ??

    Paolo

    - - - Updated - - -

    Further, when I went to pick her to give her a lift to the airport I briefly went into her home.
    I believe that she has alot of money but she is very protective of her money. She talks about it alot to me in person. But is not a big spender.
    She keeps asking me if I want to pay for her and keeps reminding me to give 15% tip. I think that 10% is more than reasonable.

    2 business partners can get into business with a well defined contract. That could work ???
    She is a workaholic. It seems everything that she does resolves around making money or new ways of making even more money.
    I sometime admire her but am irritated by her.

    She has never seen my house of cared for where I live.
    Other dates/women I have been with jumped to know that first.
    She is very vague about her future plans, I only see her about 2 hours/week and can realy talk or connect with her, it seems she likes my company but it is in a public setting where you can`t get intimate or discuss personal details at length and depth. I am irrirated by that.

    Comments ??

    Paolo

  13. #13
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    Paolo, go find someone else. She's lying about her money and is setting up to take yours.

    Run !

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptreves View Post

    Why does she ask me that ? Is she teasing with me ? Has doubts about her lover from Portland ? Has some sexual fantasy about me ?
    Thinks that I am stupid ?
    My guess is the last one.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  15. #15
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    No, I don't think she has anything to hide. I think she's been very up-front with you about what she wants and expects, and you don't want to believe her.

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