On the Brink of a Long Distance Relationship

[Mist]

Hello netizens! (I always liked that word) This is my first post on this forum. It's always nice to get acquainted with a new community.

Down to my issue I suppose. Let me start of with the basics. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a fairly long time and both have a strong love for each other. On many occasions we've discussed our futures together and the prospect of getting married. I don't get to see her as much as I would like to though due to her restrictive parents; but, that's another issue all together. The issue I wish to discuss here stems from the fact that we are both in our final year of high school and have completely different aspirations when it comes to University choices.

Whilst I happen to be choosing between staying in our home City or heading off about 4 hours away for University, she is fairly deadset on attending the University of British Columbia (UBC). Several Provinces away. Several thousand kilometers away. I should note here that I do not endorse her to nor have I encouraged her to choose a different University for the purposes of us being together. I would consider that incredibly selfish of myself. All the same though as she has never postulated that she would choose differently for the purpose of staying close to me. Considering that I have been accepted to Sauder at UBC and have no intention of going, I cannot expect the same of her.

There are two possible steps I could see our relationship headed in. Either we become a long distance couple or break-up. Recently, I haven't seen her for two weeks due to timing issues on her end. When discussing how much we missed each other she brought up the fact that we would have to cope with missing each other a lot more in the future. She then asked me to wait for her for four years and concurrently proclaimed that she is willing to wait for me. I know that it would be next to impossible for me to hold up a long distance relationship for that long. Especially when considering that there will be no opportunities to see each other in between.

TL;DR My long time girlfriend and I are headed off to distant Universities that are thousands of kilometers apart. She asked me to wait for her for four years but I'm positive that I won't be able to hold up for that long.

I'm at the end of my rope here and I'm not sure what to do. I am very much in love with her and I can't stand the thought of being without her. I'm hoping that some people who have been or are currently in long-distance relationships could provide input. Any input is appreciated though.

[smackie9]

The reality is there, it is not feasible to carry on a relationship. You are going to uni where there is a smorgasbord of yummy girls, why would you torture yourself restraining from having any sort of fun. The temptation is going to be there every single day....wait 4 frickin years??? hell with that, just end it.

[surfhb2]

If you guys actual did wait for 4 years while attending separate universities , Id consider you very abnormal (unhealthy). Time to grow up and be realistic

[KingZ]

Hi Mist. You said you've been together for a "fairly long time"; could you be more specific?

[Mist]

Hello KingZ. I should have been more specific. We've been together for two and a half years thus far.

[KingZ]

Ah, that's what I was afraid of.

Unfortunately—and this is especially true at your age—you've developed such a strong attachment that it's almost impossible for you to look at the cold, hard facts in this situation. Having been your age and also with a high school sweetheart, I know it's difficult to picture yourself with another woman right now. People say it gets easier as you get older; it doesn't.

But, rest assured. Once the chemical balance in your brain is restored, and you two have had some time apart and around others in university, you'll carry on.

[hatesthis]

Can't you just give yourselfs a continued chance to love eachother and see how it goes if you do go to different unis? If you love eachother why break up when as of now you said you have distance and you manage if the time comes that you drift apart when going to different schools then it will gradually happen you both will feel it happening and address it and if you then break you can remain close and best friends one would hope. Either way wish you both best of luck.