Girlfriend`s constant bad mood is holding my life down.

[smiling100]

I can't necessarily respond to this in a way which is unbiased. This is because it basically sounds like you are describing my ex-wife. Had you two ever talked about what she wanted to do with her life/for a career before you moved in together? Maybe she never wanted to work at all.

Same here my ex wife wanted me to look after her & didn't want to work. She was eventually diagnosed with depression. When I met her she was outgoing sexy & confident & worked fulltime on a decent salary. If only I had a crystal ball.

4dvz sounds like you could be on a similar path. The chances of being a successful musician are so minimal especially she is not doing anything about it.

[surfhb]

I hate to sound like the downer here but there's a reason we date before choosing a partner we hope will lead/follow us into old age. Your happiness in this relationship is your number one priority.

How much and how much longer are you wiling to take? It sounds like this has been going on for sometime

[Wakeup]

Thank you guys again for posting.

Wakeup: She has never agreed to talk about her true feelings, nor engaged in deep discussions about our relationship. I have tried countless number of times, and I have learned to just talk to her and always at the end of subject just ask her to tell me whether what I just said was correct or incorrect in her opinion. That works out somewhat to get the idea where she stands at, but she still wont tell me what she really thinks about. I have tried being very considerate towards her about this, respecting her own space since it`s important to her, but I have also told her that it hurts my feelings to see her never opening up to me.

She says that she does not want to talk about her feelings, she won`t cry infront of me either. When she is really hurt and angry about something she goes to bathroom, locks herself in and cries there. I have also talked about this and told her that it`s ok to show her feelings infront of me, and I would only be happy if she did so. Just to make sure I don`t give the wrong impression about her, she can also be a very happy and smileful person but just can`t communicate about heavy/serious feelings.
By the way yesterday after writing my previous post I told her my toughts about her state of mind and asked if I was correct, she said that i was "partially correct" but refused to give details.

Why (other then you're too codependent and are afraid to be alone or guilt) makes you stay with her?

She sounds positively dreadful, immature, sociopathic, selfish and you're turning into her father.

So: Ask yourself that question. What about her makes you not just ask her to leave and go back to where she came from because as a couple, neither of you are actually happy?

[TheEvilJester]

Just to clarify, when my ex-wife decided (or probably revealed) that she did not want to go to college, that was not make or break for me. All I cared was that we were able to make ends meet, basically. So, bottom-line, if she didn't really want to work full time in a career, all I personally felt we needed was for her income to be our supplemental income. My income would be our main source, and hers would be the little extra we need to be able to afford to get by and also actually have money left over to save and do nice things/buy stuff now and then.

When it came right down to it, for the right woman, I'd even be willing to work and she could be a stay at home mom/wife if that is what she wanted, so long as we could afford to do so. Without ever telling me this, that is what my ex-wife wanted. So, even though I don't necessarily think it works out that well in this day and age, I was willing to work towards it. So, in my mind, the goal was that eventually I would work my way up to the point where we could afford for her not to work. But, that did not work for her. She wanted everything, and she always wanted it all NOW. Wanted a house, wanted children, wanted nice things, wanted to take fun vacations. The problem is, she was not willing to do any of the work it takes to get those things. Hell, we even had a house we could barely afford that her parents helped us get, and all she could do was complain that it was too small, and she eventually wanted to move to a bigger house.

It is just one of the MANY reasons why, looking back now, I cannot believe it took me so long to get out of that relationship. So, again, though my advice may be a bit biased, I would think you should start seriously considering the possibility that this gal is not the one for you. It is one thing if you two agree to a lifestyle you both want, and you work together to achieve that. It sounds like this girl only wants the lifestyle she wants and doesn't care if that works for you or not. Not only that, but she tries to turn it around on you and make you feel like you are the one doing exactly what she is doing. Bottom line, if that is the life she wants (such as my ex-wife, for example) then that is fine for her. But, if that doesn't work for you, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you either. Maybe she just isn't your match. Either way, good luck, my friend. I hope you find what you are looking for in a partner, whether it winds up being her or some other girl.