ex boyfriend messaging me about his new gf??

[sweetmama83]

Ok i'l keep this short as its a bit complicated! my ex and i were together 18 months. prior to that weve known eachother for 12 years and have a lot of history together. the break up was sudden but we did get back together but it was on and off for a few months. finally just after xmas it ended fully and we didnt speak for a while. back end of feb we met up as friends and he told me he had a new gf. however for the past month he has been messaging me almost everynight asking for 'advice' on this new gf of his. theyve been together over 2 mths now and they havent slept together because she apparently doesnt like it and doesnt see the point, she doesnt show any affection towards him in some ways its almost like theyre just friends. shes never stayed at his because she feels uncomfortable being around his flatmates and hes not allowed to stay at hers because her mum wont allow it (shes 28 and hes 31) i asked what they did together and they "go for a drive and chat". hes asking me what i should do about her and hes already told me he doesnt trust her completely cuz she talks about her ex all the time. a few weeks after we met up for a chat he came over to do a job for me and we ended up kissing and he said he felt really bad afterwards but then again he was telling me how badly his new gf was. she is the total opposite to me both in looks and personality and not someone he would usually go for. the no sex thing is weird because he has a very highsex drive and she blatantly doesnt like it. hes asked me if ive started dating again and keeps reminding me that we are "just friends" but apparently i am the only one he is talking to about his problems. even his best friend doesnt know. so why is he telling me? we have a good chat when we message and i feel he does end up feeling a bit better but he is still seeing "how it goes" with the new gf because shes been hurt in the past and hes determined to show her that not all men are bastards even though she barely touches him or shows him any affection. eg she went to usa for 3 weeks and he messaged her saying "i miss u" and she replied "you'l get over it". bit weird right? what am i meant to do? obviously i care about him and i know i love him but i dont get what hes playing at. sorry for the essay! x

[Wakeup]

Ok i'l keep this short as its a bit complicated!

O.o

Stop talking to him. Block and delete him and quit allowing him to do what he does.

[Marcky]

He is using you, stop contacting him and move on.

[woody]

Great, so now your both 'the other woman'. How's that feel? Sure, you and he were together for a stint and this other lady is the new girl but sounds like he's trying to keep you on the fence? and in a way, your both using each other.
Maybe this other girl senses your still in the picture which could be why she's not giving it her all.
Don't be a doormat. It's inappropriate and unfair to all involved.

If he needs to be spineless, tell him your all out of jello.

[vashti]

I am shocked you would tolerate his behavior, especially since you say you still love him. WTF are you thinking? Do you ENJOY pain?

[countrygirl1]

Ok so my opinion is a little less harsh. I understand that if you're still in love with him it's easy to yearn for his attention and time. However, if you merely have love for him, (there's a difference between being 'in love' and 'loving' someone), then do both of you a favor and tell him you're willing to be his friend and give him support occasionally, but there should be no meeting for dinner at your house, no kissing, no talking about your sex life OR his non-existent sex life. Best of luck

[michelle23]

Why do you continue to torture yourself. It sounds like he dumped you, used you for a few months after, got a new gf, rubbed it in your face and now hes keeping you around just encase it doesnt work out so he always has a vagina to fall back to..

Hes an asshole and your being a doormat. Open your eyes here and stop letting this piece of shit hurt you. Hes not worth it.

I dont care how much "history" youve got or how much you live him. You need to love yourself more, have more self respect and learn when its time to cut someone out of your life.

We set our own standards and if you want others to respect you then you gotta respect yourself first.

I would be telling him to **** off and dont cone back, then I would block him and start dating again. Fresh start

[loverocker]

WTF block him straight away, he is fooling you, he is kind a player. damn

[Wakeup]

Ok so my opinion is a little less harsh. I understand that if you're still in love with him it's easy to yearn for his attention and time. However, if you merely have love for him, (there's a difference between being 'in love' and 'loving' someone), then do both of you a favor and tell him you're willing to be his friend and give him support occasionally, but there should be no meeting for dinner at your house, no kissing, no talking about your sex life OR his non-existent sex life. Best of luck

No, no, no. Sorry Countrygirl, but I'm not sure why anyone would want to be friends with someone that treated them so poorly. Codependency issues or having children together) would be the only plausible reason for wanting to keep them in your life in any capacity. Good friends don't do what he's been doing to the OP.

@ Op: If you keep up this BS with this douche, he is going to eventually set you up to get the sex his chosen girlfriend doesn't give him while he keeps her. Have you no respect for yourself? You want to be with him so bad that you settle for this thing he is orchestrating just to keep him in your life.

Smarten up and quit him altogether so you can finally get over him which in turn will make you (finally) open enough to meet a man that you won't be Off and On with. When you're with the right person, when feelings are mutual, when you're on the same page... there is NEVER on and off... there is just "on"

[madeeel]

either he is thinking about getting back.. or he really got no friends except you..

[smackie9]

Old thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!