Too good?

[eddie_ortiz]

I ran into an ex of a few years back last Saturday. We hadn't seen each other in over 2 years, so we decided to catch up over coffee. In our conversation she said something that has me extremely confused. She finally explained the reason she ended our relationship. She said that i was too good. Not as in a pushover, but a genuinely good person and perfect boyfriend. I bought her flowers for no reason. Emphasized the little details. Was strong when i needed to be. i made her feel wanted(all her words). I set the bar too high and it stressed her out. She felt like she was hurting me because she couldn't match my intensity(which she wasn't). She started to feel like she didn't deserve me. Now, normally i would write this off as the old "it's not you, it's me" excuse, but i had heard those same words a few weeks back. My girlfriend of over a year broke up with me and said the same thing, almost word for word. She is currently on a "trip to find myself" with her mother. And i realized that all of my relationships have ended like this. Apparently i make my partners feel inadequate. I don't see myself as perfect in the slightest. I just loved, and didn't expect anything in return. I would really like to have a woman's perspective on this matter. Any insight is appreciated.

[pcmaster]

My womanly side says she didn't like you that much so she didn't wanted to lead you on. You treat women like things, like honeybee treads flower. Problem is some girls dont feel like flowers. You have to make them believe they deserve that kind of attention and it takes lot of confidence to be able take all the good things from a lover. You have to match the rhythm and see every girl as individual. looks like you automatically start to go over the top just because they are women, just because you are dating, just because they deserve the best.

Problem is they don't see themselves so special as you see them. They are used to them self and don't see what you see. You have to start slow with compliments and so eventually build up their confidence. Then say nice things and back words with actions.

[dem862]

Women are natural diplomats. They will go out of their way to avoid hurting someone's feelings without provocation. I think you have to read between the lines on this one. I may be wrong, but I think it sounds like they might be trying to tell you that you are boring.

[surfhb]

You don't expect anything in return.....that's your issue glaring you in the face right there!!

Why not?

[PimonratC]

You are a good one. Just keep doing a good thing. (^__^) Ok

[Mattiemae]

It comes down their own inadequacies, their own self worth, their own self perceptions, their view of the world, and how they feel about it. It really has nothing do with you. There is nothing you can do about someone's self esteem, self confidence, or self worth. Just be yourself and keep doing what you're doing. Just aim higher for those that resonate with you.