HELP!!! LDR gone horribly wrong! I need some advice!

[imisshim]

I’ve been dating a guy for a few months. Things were going amazing. He embraced and even better, loved all the little quirks about me. We had so much fun with each other, he was truly my best friend/lover. He is in the military and we had gotten some unfortunate news; He was being sent to another state indefinitely and we had about another month together. We tried to optimize our time together, going to shows, dinners, and we even went on a day trip to the Grand Canyon the day before he left. During our 4 hour road trip, we had a long discussion on what we going to do with the now long distance relationship we were faced with because neither one of us wanted to give it up. He had told me many times that he is in love with me, and he truly believes that I am the girl he’s supposed to be with. We had plans to talk everyday, Skype, I was even going to come see him towards the end of the following month, and we would alternate. I was feeling really confident about pursuing this with him. The next morning, he had me come to the Air Force Base just so he could kiss me goodbye. I cried, he was noticeably upset. He called me as soon as his flight landed just to tell me that he made it safely, and he loves and misses me already. It stated out great, we were talking everyday, just like we had discussed. But after a few weeks, we weren’t talking as much and sometimes he would ignore my texts. I asked him what was going on and he had said that he’s just going through some problems, it was difficult getting adjusted, etc… I told him that I understood and I was always there for him if he wanted to talk. But explained that I don’t appreciate being ignored. I understand that he may not be able to get back to me right away, but to flat out ignore me is a little disrespectful. He agreed and apologized. After that, things kind of went back to the way they were, we still weren’t talking as much, but at least he wasn’t ignoring me. When we were planning my trip to come see him, he would say that he had to check the dates, saying that they had an exercise coming up and kept putting it off. Well, I ended up going through a couple of pretty major issues in my life and unfortunately, it’s going to push back me being able to go visit him for a little while longer. I had explained everything to him and he seemed okay with it. Just said that we’ll get through this and then deal with one thing at a time. He told me that he’s always here for me, even told me I was his soul mate. Well, a little while later he started ignoring my texts again, and now ignoring me for longer periods of time. At one point we didn’t talk or text for almost 2 weeks. When I asked him what was going on and he finally did respond he just said “just stuff in my life, but I can handle it.” Then said “just give me some time.” I understood and just left him alone. I told myself to just give him space and when he wants to talk, he will contact me. He didn’t. this went on for at least another 2 weeks. I had finally gotten tired of it. My mind was running wild, I was sad, and even a little angry because I didn’t fully understand. I sent him a text asking him if we should just give this up. No response what so ever. I ended up getting a text the next day asking how everything panned out. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about so I asked him to clarify. Again no response. I got to the point where I felt unimportant to him, and I wasn’t sure if he had found someone else and was just phasing me out of his life, but I know I was tired of being disrespected like this. I sent him a text, telling him that I think I’m going to move on. I got a response right away saying; “so that’s you solution?” I told him that he doesn’t ever talk to me, and there’s really nothing there if we don’t communicate, especially with the distance. I said that I don’t know what else to do. He asked me what had happened with my situation, I explained that I wasn’t sure what was going on with it right now, I won’t know for a few more weeks. He said “that’s good, I’m glad you’re talking to me.” Like I was the one ignoring him. Then had said “you have always wanted to move on.” I told him that, that wasn’t true at all. I meant everything that I said about my feelings for him, but if it isn’t reciprocated then I have to move on for the sake of my own happiness. Then he responds with; “so I’m not your happiness?” I told him that he is, just when he disappears on me, it hurts really bad. I want to feel important to him. He said I will always be important to him. I tried to call him and he declined my call right away. I got another text saying “I will always be the girl that he is meant to be with.” I responded with “start treating me like it, your actions don’t match your words.” Never heard back from him. I love him and I want to be with him, but at the same time, I want someone who actually acts like they want me in their life. I’m not ready to move on, but I’m willing to let him go if it’s for the best. I feel like I’m the one who’s been dumped. I miss him dearly, but I don’t know what to think. I’m heart broken.

[basilandthyme]

paragraphs?

[loverocker]

Sorry and no offence btw thats why i hate LDR. sad indeed, but you love him so be patience and give him some more time, True love is the name of scarify.
Regards and best of luck.

[smackie9]

Mosts LDR's don't work because they stay LDRs. LDR's should be temporary. Don't have another one, always date locally.

[imisshim]

Thank you all for your responses.

[Boisdevie]

paragraphs?

It's amazing isn't it? They have enough of a memory to be able to recount in precise details the conversations they've had but forgot that they were taught in school to use paragraphs. Well I assume they were taught this in America but given that their country is going down the tubes at a fair clip perhaps I'm mistaken.

[Wakeup]

You only knew him for a couple of months and now with the distance any infatuation/lust you had for one another has dissipated. When a man isn't giving you attention, then the man isn't interested and just hasn't ended the "relationship."

NEVER ask a man if he wants to end things. If you have to ask that question then you're not being treated in a way that makes you happy and content as such; he's obviously not that into you and YOU do the ending and be done with him. Men who love you and want to be with you in a committed and ongoing situation do not act the way this boy has acted with you. Know that and don't disregard your gut and keep on hoping.

Don't text/call him again and if he contacts you, ignore him. He's over the initial lust/infatuation he felt with you.

Sorry you're hurting but be grateful for the lesson.