Girlfriends past abusive relationship is causing doubts

[surfhb]

her problem

Ummm yeah. Lol

[HeartIsAching]

OP, you're concerned that her decision making process hasn't improved, due to some bad decisions she's made in the past. Have you examined all of the evidence? Are YOU an abusive, drug-addict douchebag? If you're not, is she experiencing ennui because of it?

If neither of the above is true, then it's possible that some improvements have been made.

[Wakeup]

^^^ Interesting: Would the saying for that be:

1. Water rises to its own level?

2. Birds of a feather flock together?

3. You can't manage what you don't measure?

I think op is going on:

4. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour?

[razrazraz]

Thanks folks for your insights.

There are two schools of thought here.

1. Forget it and get on with your relationship
2. There is a value mismatch that I have just discovered/accepted. Move on

No 1 is not easy, but because I love her so deeply, I think I have to try this course of action.

It has really helped to discuss this.
Verbalising ones concerns and receiving differing view points is a valuable exercise.

[chinagirl]

Good decision!

Her decisions and actions in the past might be questionable.... But if you don't find anything broken in your relationship with her at this time, there is no need to fix it.

Don't make life too complicated.

[HeartIsAching]

Thanks folks for your insights.

There are two schools of thought here.

1. Forget it and get on with your relationship
2. There is a value mismatch that I have just discovered/accepted. Move on

No 1 is not easy, but because I love her so deeply, I think I have to try this course of action.

It has really helped to discuss this.
Verbalising ones concerns and receiving differing view points is a valuable exercise.

People DO change.

[Wakeup]

Good luck,op. Hope you have many happy years together.

[razrazraz]

People DO change.

Do they? That has not been my experience. People try to change, but revert to type eventually.
We are who we are.