Need some serious female advice

[pcmaster]

Well feelings might start as being friends and then increase to romantic levels. Sometimes it needs time but sometimes something have to change.

[searock]

Why do you think we tell these boys that have been zoned to stop hanging around their "friend" that they want more with...because shes not going to suddenly find him to be boyfriend material, anytime thats why

Because she explicitly told them that she isn't interested... there has been a discussion about it. In that case it's pretty much impossible that she or he will change her or his mind. And even if she did at some point in the future change her mind (which is pretty much impossible as I said), the guy should still stop hanging out with her until she does (which will most likely never ever happen).

[KingZ]

Wakeup's poor use of commas, makes me uncomfortable.

[Wakeup]

Wakeup's poor use of commas, makes me uncomfortable.

Oh look, kingz is still trying to get my attention.

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Because she explicitly told them that she isn't interested...

Well, perhaps occasionally but most times its when they are afraid of losing the friendship, they're so desperate to have the "friend" in their life that they're afraid to make a move because they know making a move will give them the negative answer they know, deep down, they'll get.

there has been a discussion about it. In that case it's pretty much impossible that she or he will change her or his mind. And even if she did at some point in the future change her mind (which is pretty much impossible as I said),

Yes... he's been friend zoned so it is pretty much impossible.

the guy should still stop hanging out with her until she does (which will most likely never ever happen).

Yes... because she's friend zoned him.

Now you're getting it.

[KingZ]

In that case it's pretty much impossible that she or he will change her or his mind.

Aaaand she lost. ^

[Wakeup]

She didn't "lose" she had an epiphany!

[searock]

Aaaand she lost. ^

Well, if person A isn't attracted to person B (by this I mean that person B has told person A about their feelings, and person A has thought hard about it and they truly know in their heart and mind that they aren't attracted to person B), it is very improbable that person A will change their mind anytime in the near future.

Now if (I'll use gendered pronouns for the sake of clarity) a guy tells his "friend" that he has feelings for her and she says something like "Oh... I really didn't expect this, I never thought about you that way..." then she *will* think about him "that way" and she will understand whether she likes him "that way" or not.

Basically when a friend confesses their feelings for you, what happens is that you are "forced" to think of them in a different light. You may or may not like what you see.

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Well, perhaps occasionally but most times its when they are afraid of losing the friendship, they're so desperate to have the "friend" in their life that they're afraid to make a move because they know making a move will give them the negative answer they know, deep down, they'll get.

If they already know, it means she has already made it clear in other ways (behaviors and such).

Yes... he's been friend zoned so it is pretty much impossible.
Yes... because she's friend zoned him.

No, because she has thought about it, she has looked at him as a potential partner (which she may not have done before he told her how he felt) and she has decided/understood that she is not interested in him as a romantic/sexual partner. It's highly unlikely that she will change her mind after having seriously considered it.

[Wakeup]

You understand the friend zone. The problem I see you having now is what Michelle touched on. For some reason you've seen it as something bad and so you refuse to acknowledge (knowingly) that it exists (you have acknowledged unknowingly that is does though).

Anyway. All the boyzzz you have as friends (who you say you are not attracted to) you have friend zoned. It's not a bad thing, it just is what it is.

[searock]

I have not friendzoned anyone. I am not attracted to them now and I don't think I ever will be, but I know that I could change my mind about any of them. Wouldn't be the first time it happens .

[Wakeup]

I have not friendzoned anyone. I am not attracted to them now and I don't think I ever will be,

Right ~ You've friend zoned them

but I know that I could change my mind about any of them. Wouldn't be the first time it happens .

Yes it happened with your bf... because you didn't friend zone him you just called him your friend because you had another bf at the time but your subconscious told you that he (your friend) had potential and so you placed him on the potential ladder, not the friends ladder (even though you didn't immediately act on that potential)

[searock]

Oh my god, for the n-th time that is NOT what happened. I wasn't even in a relationship when I first met my current boyfriend. And I had no idea he was in a relationship either. I just met him, liked him as a person, was not attracted to him, period. THEN feelings started to evolve and I eventually became attracted to him - after months! Again, he is NOT the only guy this has happened with. Again, I am not unique in this.

It's not so simple as instant categorization or whatever. It's just not that simple.

[Wakeup]

Oh my god, for the n-th time that is NOT what happened. I wasn't even in a relationship when I first met my current boyfriend. And I had no idea he was in a relationship either. I just met him, liked him as a person, was not attracted to him, period. THEN feelings started to evolve and I eventually became attracted to him - after months! Again, he is NOT the only guy this has happened with. Again, I am not unique in this.

It's not so simple as instant categorization or whatever. It's just not that simple.

Sea... I remember you saying that you were in a relationship when you met the boy you're with now. But it makes no difference even if things happened that way you explain above... it just means that you never put your current bf in the friend zone.

[searock]

I did, if by "putting in the friend zone" you mean only seeing him as a friend and not being attracted to him in any way.

[Wakeup]

No, you didn't put him in the friend zone. Had you done that, you'd have never transitioned into the feeling you have for him now.

[Smila]

damn!! you are cold loooool